Arpita Ranka

Others

3.8  

Arpita Ranka

Others

A Letter To Friend Long Gone

A Letter To Friend Long Gone

2 mins
90


Dear Long Gone Friend,


I've missed you. I've missed you for a long time, now. I wonder if I remember you the way I'd like to. I know if I don't, this guilt will nibble away at my sanity. Finally, I write to you.

Though I must say, this letter can never do justice to your being.

You weaved a sad poet out of me. The sun would melt, and the moon would make itself comfortable in the sky, but I didn't find solace in this house for quite a while. The ghost of loss haunted me, at each curve and crevice, crack, and turn. I'd comfort myself with lies. I stitched false signs into my pillow, just so I could sleep peacefully. It worked for a while. It did. Then, either the signs stopped, or I quit looking for them. On some days, my duvet hugged me uncomfortably. Maybe it was trying to strangle me. I suppose it wasn't used to an empty space either.

You see, I learned how to move forward. Though, I also learned that I could never move on.

Still, I'd never regret you. Love, there's nothing I could say that'd never capture your importance to me. Despite my love for words, I admit they ought to surrender to moments like these. This, I realized just now. I always wondered why I couldn't write about you. Now, I know. So, instead, I'm writing to you, hoping that wherever it is that you are, you've understood me.

It still hurts that we never got to say goodbye. I'd promised to protect you, and every day, I blame myself more and trust myself less for not living up to it. Every Friday, I visit you. I place a flower next to your grave, in hopes that I'd see its petals in places that were graced by your presence. I still look for signs, then. What can I say, I loved you like no other. Like I always said, if I've loved you for your life, I'll love you more in your death.

The red pillow that I stitched for you still stays with me, where you last left it off. It reminds me of all the little things in my life that you gave meaning to. It's raining now, but I know spring will arrive. And maybe it'll rain again, but it won't stay like this forever.


Love,

A grateful friend.


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