Why Hide My Puberty

When puberty hit several parts of me

I felt proud for being a "she"

For I had little grown limbs

A swallowed pair of breast

Hair grew at some elusive spots

I was indeed curious for the curves I got

I had no idea of the change and went to my father in haste,

And I started narrating the physical transformations and lots

At the same time i could sense my mom pacing back and forth like a coo does,

Don't know exactly about the discomfort but yes! she seem to be in some fuss.

Unable to control she paced up, she paced up and looked with a plea

Still not getting her point, I continued to speak

I kept articulating for a second, a minute and with each tik-tik,

But seeing no notice of Papa I decided to sneak

Yes, I decided but I held back as I wanted to share

I kept murmuring if he could hear

And then impatient mom finally hit the moment and yelled "chandni can you please bring it to a halt?"

Surprise me I got scared why she wanted me to be mum

She held me tight took me in a room and said, "your puberty needs to be a secret"

I was scared

And when I repelled she asked me not to exaggerate.

I seek an answer if you ask everything to be shared then why not this?

Is dad not aware of these happenings or is it he feels shame for her daughter getting younger?

I was confused for what to listen and what not

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Inside was an unsettled thunder

Luckily I had a man other than father who was understanding enough

he moment brother stepped in,

Cleaving to those emotions was really tough

And unable to control that thunder of thoughts, that storm of juggling thoughts

I started narrating

I again articulated for a second, a minute and with each tik tik,

I started to narrate but to my surprise he starred with a hate

I got suspicious if I was uttering something vulgar

And now left with no man to speak to I finally went to the lady of my life, my mother

I went to her and asked mom, "why do I need to hide?"

And the one word she said, a big word it is "predipositions" sanskaaras

Come on can you please describe this one word statement to me?

How about going to a male shopkeeper and asking "Bra please"

And when he questions - Mam what is your size?

Yes bluntly say "Bhaiya 32, Bhaiya 34

And when he questions which brand?

You don't mind naming so many!

Oo yes! He roll those pads in black bag, he must not be knowing what is it for?

How unclear!

Ask an unknown man - bra please, pads please but don't ask the man in your life - your father, your brother

Dad, I need pads to keep my clothes unstained and bra to hold my breast and to clad

You taught me to not hide a thing and when I am doing the same you are reacting as if I am not your offspring!