Outpourings

Outpourrr..ings

Just now, my heart skipped a beat !
Heard you had passed away last night---
News over heard,in the passing, was crisp and neat---
"She's gone"---words stern---on 'Mami', however, sat light !
'Mami', my task-master in her moorings, was "always and always right"...

Of the lot in the family, I was and remain in her presence, most terrified---
She, I have bitterly learnt,now and then,has my bashfulness verified.
It was my withdrawing nature, I regret, that made me lose you,
In spite of the urgings of friends, near and far, old and new---
was more petrified of your loving taunts than their remarks snide !

Hard pressed to suppress my hormones hitting the ceiling;
Retaining the cussedness in not showing any amatory feeling;
And, 'Mami', mundanely, monitoring my abiding adherence to orthodoxy:
I was, demurely, caged---spooked even to profess my love, by proxy.
And, you besotten ,expected me to propose like a Knight, kneeling !

Our trysts near the temple were as in daze,routinely brief and taut--
Confined to my " How are you", and, Your " do say something more ";
While I peeked furtively for talking pillars or anything might get me caught,
You dared me---"with your tormentor 'Mami', it's time to settle the score ?"
Frankly, it was the against devil inside me, I confess, the grudge I bore---

It was the same devil that had me sneak close to you, then, deny
The reason for my coming with a Laurel of Hardy's dead-pan---
You couldn't take it any more, and, mocked me---"let your 'bheja' fry ! "---
More than my little brain, knew my manhood needed the scan...
" There is a limit to being pussilanimous---" chirped a bird in the sky.

That morning, I saw you smirk at me and escort a stranger inside
Your mansion, again glancing at me. For the first time, did not hide,
But, like one possessed, reached your bed-room window only to watch
Mutely, goings-on which suddenly sparked a burning in my crotch--- 
My racing heart missed a beat--"putting off things---L'affaire a-botch !"

My chewing 'tulsi' leaves told 'Mami' the story of my apparent guilty pangs---
She said, "On your last visit, you never saw a 'pillar' at the temple scoot?--
Thank Heavens, I am THE expert in tracking marauding vampire-gangs:
Confronted and rebuked your 'love'---she did not protest nor refute !"---
I remain, 'hurting' for not getting 'bitten' even once,and, a bachelor, to boot !