Nights Of Convincing

Everyday I stand

In front of the mirror

Locked myself in the bathroom

I see myself with eyes red

And tear welling up in them.

It takes courage, a lot of it

To convince myself everyday

That life is good and colourful

Pain and sorrow are just

A small part, which will fade soon.

I convince, my love is true

But in Universe, there's no law

That they'll love you too.

I hold the wall to stop myself

From falling

I scream and shout my heart out.

I find myself broken,

I feel pity for myself often.

It's been a long time,

And this happens every night.

When people are enjoying

With their family and friends,

I feel lonely and alienated

In my own home,

Where I'm supposed to get solace.

The heart breaks a little more,

When I find even my family,

Can't hear these screams within me,

And see the unsheded tears of pain.

I convince, that life's good

But sometimes putting on

This mask for too long, is painful.

So, last night

When I was again standing,

In front of the mirror,

Trying to convince myself,

That life's good.

I was running out of courage,

And I was too weak,

To pick the fallen mask,

From the ground.

I didn't convince anymore.

I just screamed and let as much as these tears can flow.

As usual it remained unheard,

I saw a shattered person

on the mirror.

I don't know, who's it,

I couldn't imagine,

That I'm so much broken.

I didn't convince.

Life is painful.

I'm all alone standing

in the middle of the empty road

I don't know, where this road

Leads to.

Either to a bright side or to the darkest,

I don't know.

The silence kills me now,

And pages of the novel

doesn't inspire me anymore,

My favourite song

has changed it's meaning.

My screams are echoed

within the wall of my heart.

I talk in the void, I live in the void.

My love has lost it's way and meaning.

I opened the tap,

Splashed water on my face.

The red eyes slowly turned pale,

The broken fragments was held together, but never healed.

I picked up the mask from the ground,

Put it perfectly on my face.

I unlocked the door,

Head held high,

with the brightest smile,

I asked, "So dear friend, how's your day?"