Here I Am

Here I am, trapped between the webbed emotional ties
Trying to peep outside from the gaps in the mesh
with hopes of a less complicated world beneath my eyes
And to my utter surprise there is nothing else
but this
there is nothing more
than this.

Insecurities hidden under the confident masks for show
I sometimes like to imagine if it were not so
then maybe a few of my insecurities
would find refuge in the confidence of yours
would be gelled with what lies obscure
under the glossy glaring mask that gapes at me

If only we didn't define priorities and allowed those dreamy little wishes
all of that picturesque that enthralled us as a kid
could come to life in little bits
if only the world of expressions was less meshed than what it is
Then maybe the meshes would let me see what it hides from me 

Here I am with pieces of my days scattered all around
with no one to listen to them, in an audience less empty ground
My dry throat and tired voice still screaming there
From a podium meant for my expressions to become sound
to the dead grass, not green on any side.

What happened to the desires and fantasies that I let out
in the form of the weird gestures for the ungrateful world to receive
I touch the mesh and feel them lying there
Moving my heart, yet called immovable  continues to deceive
The critic, the judge, the analyst - all what I like to call what I see or hear.

Here I am, still peeping through the mesh gaps
realizing why I never found anything ever on the other side
maybe there is no other side at all
nothing more gracious than what we have here
and as it always felt like ,there is nothing else
but this
there is nothing more
than this.