Life - A Fantasy or Diabolic?
Life - A Fantasy or Diabolic?4 mins 30 4 mins 30
Life is not a fantasy. Maybe I thought it was. Well, who could blame me? When we were in our teens, we were bubbling with hope, desires and oomph so much so that it was cumbersome to conceive a distorted image of the world we live in. As years fly, we begin perceiving the distortions, but it's too late; we are already grappling with its impact.
Ringing a bell?
Come on, who can blame us? The world was too perfect to be considered a travesty. We are not born brimming with the knowledge of life. It's something you learn from experience. And here's the fun part; there is no theory. Cool, right? But it's not. Or maybe it is.
And don't even think about someone teaching you about life. You can't go for Life lessons. Cause everyone has a different story; a unique one. It'd be useless to listen to someone else's life story to master the subject. You have to live your own.
Hence, I can't tell you how to master life, but I certainly can tell you how I did. But I am not expecting you to follow me or to try to be like me. That's outright eldritch. I don't like anyone like me. No one likes anyone else to be exactly like them. I mean in every aspect. Maybe that's why twins always fought.
I was not inspired to become a doctor. I just wanted to be one.
To battle the inner conflicts in us and to triumph over the war is the essence of life.
For me, two roads lay ahead; medicine and writing.
In fact, I had many roads ahead. Naming a few; robotics, IAS, journalism, law etc. But in the end, Medicine and Writing vanquished everything else, emerging victorious.
Then it was between them.
It's only later in life, that I realized it was never a conflict. I became a doctor-cum-author.
And the person who made me realize that was my father.
It's maybe just one word for you guys. Just another dad-daughter story. But for me, he is many words. More than I could list out of which shortlisting a few would be like choosing Meryl Streep for Best Actress from a shortlist which includes Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Jennifer Lawrence and the like.
The war is raging inside me.
"Irene, we all have an inner calling. Just wait for yours", he would reply, to the seething war, but that did nothing to mitigate it.
I would earn a slash or two and eventually it stopped. As soon as the gashes healed, the war would ensue.
Okay, this was annoying. Come on, man, give me a break.
That's when I failed.
I failed. My ears couldn't believe this. I failed. For an admission examination to a coaching center. And what's worse? By the margin of four marks.
Devastating as it was, I moved on.
"You know what, Irene. You tried your best. We all know that. Do you want a pizza?"
Okay, so don't expect a cliché line that goes: Oh man, that pizza changed my life. I mean, how stupid is it? But let me tell you, there are lives that were changed by pizzas. Just mine was not.
It was my Dad who picked me from the ditch. It was him who invigorated me to move on. Cliché as it is, I am compelled to reveal this line: Dad changed my life. He taught me; you fall only to rise.
All I am now; I owe to him.
Failure is integral. It's like this hamartia that a protagonist endures at the end of the film, to dampen the insidiously developing pride in him. A delicate reminder that life is not all about coming out on the top.
I fell later too. But when I got up, a thunderbolt flashed across the world. Maybe you might have felt it in subtle ways. In the rain, or in the gust of wind or in the flare of the sun.
And when I rose, someone else did too.
The new me.
My father didn't inspire me to be the new me. He inspired me to find the new me.