EMOTIONAL EVOLUTION

Bisali and Nandu very quietly were lost in their thoughts. They were as silent as the atmosphere outside their aeroplane which was flying at a height of more than 35000 feet. Nothing was visible outside. Now and then flying through some turbulence would shake them a little. Their inner turmoil had shaken them violently enough to feel immune to any outer turbulence. Knowing each other since their childhood, married to each other for more than fifty years of their lives, and facing challenges together in their journey of life, they understood each other's unexpressed thoughts very well. Even in their silence, they were communicative. A typical middle-class working couple, they were ever thankful to God for His blessings to let them lead a normal family life. Both of them had earned enough to live comfortably. Highly satisfied with whatever they had, which included a house of their own, they tried to live within their means. Well aware and informed of affairs of the world around them, they had kept themselves away from any politics. Their world revolved around their two children i.e. son Bisan and daughter Biba. Always nurturing them with lots of care and affection, they were discreet enough to let them have their privacy and independence even during their growing years.

Bisali and Nandu were government school teachers who had provided good education and upbringing to both their children. Both children of educated parents grew up quite intelligent. Biba also chose the teaching profession as her career because of her keen interest in studies. She continued higher studies alongside her teaching profession. Like her parents and brother, she believed that there was never any end to gaining more knowledge. Her marriage had been fixed. Bisan had also got admission and scholarship on merit in one of the most prestigious universities in the USA. There were just a few months left before Biba's marriage when Bisan was asked to join the university. Nandu and Bisali became busy with the wedding preparations of their daughter and their son's departure for the USA. It was the future life of their children whose absence they were going to feel deeply but controlling their emotions and acting intelligently, they sent off them with their blessings. They again got busy in their respective jobs as both of them were still in active service.

Bisan had grown up to be a hardworking and intelligent person. Sheer on his merit, he qualified for a scholarship to study at one of the most prestigious universities in the USA. He proved his merit there too. He continued getting one scholarship or the other and on-campus assignments kept meeting his other expenditure. Hardworking as he was, he enjoyed his studies and his work too. He could see a vast ocean of opportunities to tap his potentiality in a country where the results of hard work and intelligence did not take much time to bring out the fruits of hard labor. Just once he had gone to visit his parents back home during vacations. It had not been financially viable for him or his parents to visit one another more than that. In his heart of hearts, Bisan promised himself to show his parents literally another side of the world where the amenities of life were available at the click of a button but with a price. He was sure of his capability to earn well enough to live life to his liking. He wanted to make the best of the opportunities he had found there. There was no stoppage to success only if one had determination and Bisan was determined. So he had gone back to the country of opportunities as he called it.

Bisan didn't take much financial help from his parents. During his studies, he was granted a scholarship, and then he got into a good job. He became so busy in making the best use of avenues available sheer on his merit that the memories of his hometown in India from where he had, were getting dimmer and dimmer. He would assure himself about the well-being of his parents by talking to them on phone or sometimes via video call. Moreover, his sister Biba was married in neighbouring town. She could reach her parents if ever any emergency arose. He was right in thinking so to some extent. After all, he was sent with his parents' blessings and realizing his busy schedule, they had also suppressed their emotions and compromised with his absence whenever they thought of his bright future there. It wasn't like that Bisan didn't care for his parents. Perhaps he got much busy evaluating his own merit in the prevalent competition. His stay in the USA was already more than ten years. His sister Biba had also become busier with her family and profession.

Nandu and Bisali had timely retirement from their jobs. Their daughter Biba was married and their son Bisan was busy abroad. Unaware of Bisan's promise made to himself, Bisali and Nandu felt offended that not even once Bisan referred to their visit to the USA. They were very proud of their son studying there and they were sure of his getting into a good job and making enough money to arrange for their visit to the country of their dreams. But their dream looked like falling flat when their son never mentioned their visit. They had the full realization that he was not dependent upon them for financial assistance but he was not having enough money also to sponsor their visit. Crushing their excitement, they were discreet and their wiseness told them not to question his constraint.

They decided to start tuition classes to keep themselves busy as well as make extra money in case the opportunity to visit the USA ever materialized. There was no dearth of students seeking private tuition. They were in a position to choose the students and timings as per their convenience. Yearning for their son, they would quite often discuss between them, his studies, his career, and his future and invariably pray to God for his welfare. 

Unaware of the pangs of separation that they had suffered, Bisan was somewhat relieved to see his parents doing well and not feel sad or bad about his separation. Once back to college, he put himself wholeheartedly into his studies. His phone calls to his parents became rare. Starting with twice a day i.e. morning and evening, these calls became once a day and then once a week. He wasn't able to conceal his irritation if ever his parents called him. He had become blunt enough to tell them a couple of times that it was not the right time for him to take their call and talk to them! Saying that he would disconnect the call. Crestfallen, they would look at each other. How can anyone be too busy to talk to parents? They were never that busy for their son! And for that matter, they were never that busy for their parents! Perhaps they were never busy enough, they would reflect! Or maybe as people trying to make careers for themselves, their parents were wise enough not to be demanding selves! Maybe they belonged to a generation when neither the parents nor the children had the facilities of modern means of communication which brought virtually face-to-face with one another. Maybe none of the sides is emotionally heavily invested or maybe emotional investment is satisfied by technology. And the technology didn't require much space to accommodate one another! Wow! What a concept!

While sharing their thoughts with each other, Bisali and Nandu were awestruck! What an evolution! Relations and relationships have become abstract! They need not be visible physically because the physical presence requires physical space and physical face-to-face contact which somehow is not considered that important or urgent. Such is the law of evolution that in spite of finding faults with it, one has to move on with it. Evolution doesn't stop with criticism. It's such a change that is adopted and absorbed by society slowly and automatically. This is a flow of current that takes you along without letting you feel its onset. You evolve with it so slowly and gradually that you become nostalgic about the times you were used to and become apprehensive about the changes. Hence flowing with the current and becoming nostalgic, Bisali and Nandu decided that they should also be considerate enough to understand their son's busy schedule. Entangled in many ifs and buts, perhaps and maybes, the time kept on moving and Bisali and Nandu too kept moving on with time.

Then one fine morning, Bisan called his parents. He asked them to wind up their routine including the tuition classes they had started. After their studies, he got himself a very good job and bought himself a good house. Now he wanted his parents to come and stay with him. Bisali and Nandu were still imbibing this happy turn of life when in the same virtual call, he introduced them to a colleague Piya whom he wanted to marry during their stay with him. He told them not to make any preparation for his marriage because he and Piya had planned every minute detail to their liking. Piya was a US citizen of Indian origin. She had studied with Bisan in the same college and helped him a lot during his initial years in the USA. Years of friendship had culminated in their decision to marry each other. Piya's parents had no objection. Bisan also sought his parents' blessings. There was enough time for the marriage ceremony. He had a full realization of the financial constraints of his parents and his sister. So, he had arranged everything including a passport, visa, and tickets for his parents and sister along with her family, without bothering them. They were just to travel comfortably to be with him.

A quick turn of events put Bisali and Nandu on their alert which they had developed in this process of emotional evolution. They wound up their tuition classes. Like typical average parents, they had different plans for their only son. But here, he was telling them not to do anything as he was all set for the big day in his life. Bisan hadn't asked for any financial support from his parents ever since he had left for higher studies. It had not been an easy life for him. Struggles in life kept him preoccupied but he couldn't have ignored his parents. Without delving deep, they were excited to be with their son in the country of their dreams, that too for the auspicious occasion of his marriage. This was their first-ever trip abroad. With mixed feelings of excitement and happiness, they landed in the USA where Bisan and Piya received them. There was a scene of emotional outbursts. Neither Bisan nor Nandu and Bisali tried to stop tears from flowing unabashedly from their eyes. Bisali and Nandu were mesmerized by the modern technology with which the house was equipped. That was just a glimpse of advancement that they experienced later when Bisan took them to visit different places afterward. The unabashed display of love and affection had washed away all the apprehensions of being neglected, uncared for, or forgotten. 

Bisan had taken a very big rental vehicle to accommodate all family members and their baggage. This was the first visit abroad for the whole family. Till then, they had seen only on television, cinema or read in magazines and newspapers about the development in the daily life of individuals but now not only, they were seeing it a reality, they were already experiencing a part of that development. Bisali and Nandu, in spite of being amazed, were controlling their excitement because of their advanced age but Biba's children being children were unembarrassed in expressing their joy at every sight new to them. Their gleeful shrieks were reflecting their joy abundantly. Talking and laughing like that, they reached home. Understanding their union after long years of separation, Piya took leave of them when they reached Bisan's house. The whole family was flabbergasted when they looked at the house.

Trusting Bisan's capability, Nandu and Bisali were always confident of Bisan making it big in his life but this much grandeur was beyond their imagination. They couldn't control themselves anymore. Like children, they also expressed their amazement openly. Watching his family's excitement, Bisan smiled affectionately. Catering to his small, small needs and demands, his parents had brought him up with lots of love. He always gave them the credit for his achievements in life. It was his heartfelt desire for his parents to enjoy the luxuries of life which he had made. He was thankful to God for fulfilling his desire. So, the moment he reached home, he with his family, straightway headed for the temple made in the house to pay his grateful obeisance.

Recovering from the initial awestruck feeling of Bisan's luxurious lifestyle, Nandu and his family, happily got busy in making preparations for the wedding. They had already conveyed the details of the auspicious day from their family priest back home in India. Bisan had made all the arrangements accordingly. First of all, both the families, his and Piya's, were to be introduced to each other. On the decided date, Bisan took his family to the decided place where Piya with her family, had already reached. Pita's family was affluent US citizens. Both families were well aware of the intimacy between Piya and Bisan. So, without taking much time, both sides accepted each other and after deciding the modalities of the wedding ceremony, took leave of each other. It had been more than ten years of Bisan's stay in the USA but his belief in the sanctity of Indian wedding tradition had remained strong. He needed his parents' blessings for his marriage. He always believed that the luxuries in his life were because of his parents' blessings.

Bisali and Nandu had nurtured many dreams for their only son's marriage. The couple was very intelligent, farsighted, and experienced. They had trusted in their way of upbringing their children. They were confident that their son would return back to his roots after completing his education and they would solemnize his wedding with much fanfare among their friends and relatives. They had made dresses and jewelry for their would-be daughter-in-law. They had even readied an independent apartment within the premises of their house for their son and daughter-in-law respecting their need for privacy. But when Bisan told them about his relationship with Piya and introduced her to them on a video call, then being brainy and alert, finding their happiness in their son's happiness, they blessed him wholeheartedly. After the video call, they kept looking at each other dumbfounded and perplexed. Without uttering a word, they were absorbing each other's sensitivity. Their son was making his future bright on his own merit. He had never bothered his parents with his problems. That didn't mean that he never faced any obstacles. He was a proud self-made person. Perhaps living on his own and roughing out for his life, had made him somewhat indifferent to his parents' affectionate sensitivity. Taking this way, Bisali and Nandu reconciled with the situation and started preparing for the wedding. For their satisfaction, Bisan asked them to find out the auspicious date from the family priest for his marriage. Very respectfully and firmly, he told them not to make any other preparation for his marriage including dresses and jewellery. They, therefore, had brought things of their personal use only. 

There was no dearth of money with Bisan. What he was short of, was made up with his family's presence which he had missed till then. He wasn't aware when the long period of absence from his family in the alien country, had either dried the soft feelings of love and affection or buried somewhere deep inside. Now again in the family's company, those emotions had revived and the overwhelming waves of soft emotions for one another were flowing continuously. He had not done any shopping for the wedding. He was waiting for his family to come, offer their advice and do the shopping as per his choice. Bisali and Nandu were very happy to do so and finish the shopping process for both Bisan and Piya.

On the decided auspicious date, the wedding was solemnised following religious rituals. Bisali and Nandu were very happy to meet Bisan's friends and Piya's family. They were happy to see Bisan's group of friends sticking together like a big family away from their own families. Although most of them remained in touch with their roots yet none of the friends seemed to miss anything back enough to leave this country where they had found a conducive environment to realise their potential and enjoy a better quality of life. Bisan also seemed to have blended well. It had taken them almost ten years to meet and see their son well settled. Blessing him profusely, they decided to return journey after the wedding functions were over. During all these years of separation, Bisan had thought himself to be too busy to miss the parental touch in his life. There was no dearth of money with him. He had always taken consolation in the fact his parents were doing good on their own and they never put pressure on him to take care of them. He had never felt any need or compulsion to look for their needs but now in their company, he realised what he had missed all these years. All his sentiments hitherto confined to himself, known to himself only and suppressed so far had found a vent. Once again he felt like a child secure under parental care. He didn't want any more separation from them. Piya's family of three generations were US citizens. She had always lived with her parents. She was sensitive enough to realise Bisan's craving for paternal love. She too kept on insisting upon Bisan's parents prolonging their stay. 

After marriage, Piya and Bisan took the whole family to different tourist places. The vacations were going to be over for Biba's children. Piya and Bisan sent off Biba and her family with lots of gifts. They made Bisali and Nandu prolong their stay with them for some more period. They were highly impressed with Piya's and Bisan's behavior. In foreign lands, away from his own kith and kin, they had developed close friendships with caring and loving people assuring them that they were no longer lonely there. Perhaps being away from their respective families had brought these migrants closer to one another and they were taking care of one another. Bisali and Nandu had felt Bisan's absence and they would keep waiting for him to return back. But then, having seen him doing fantastic in the USA with his hard work and intelligence, they wholeheartedly blessed him and started preparing for their return back home. Bisan's heart bereft of parental love and care for such a long period was not getting satisfied. He would stop them on one pretext or the other. They were also finding themselves helpless in leaving him. Piya's behaviour was perfectly respectful towards them. She was born and brought up in that country amid family love and care. She was very well aware of Bisan's sentiments for his parents whom he had met after more than ten years. All his hitherto suppressed emotions had found a vent out of which those were flowing non-stop. This was well expected and accepted. But the farsighted couple had always respected their son's need for privacy and independence back at home. How could it be expected of them to interfere in his life in foreign lands?

Overcoming their sentiments and taking a decision very objectively, Bisali and Nandu fixed the date for their return journey. Very objectively because Bisan too had realised that he couldn't leave a country where he had studied, got a decent career, married, and made a home. Simultaneously, he was aware of the fact that at this stage of their life, it won't be easy and comfortable for his parents to sever their roots in that small town in India to settle down in new surroundings. Nandu and Bisali had also realised that they had always wanted their son to do well in his life. They were impressed by his large group of friends sticking together in a country where they had made many a dream come true. Nandu and Bisali had always respected Bisan's need to be independent and by and large, they had always supported his decisions. They didn't want to impose or distract him from his goals ahead with their sentiments of seeking his attention giving logic of support in their middle age or old age. Both sides were wise enough to comprehend each other's sentimental constraints. Wholeheartedly blessing the newly wedded and controlling their emotions and with heavy hearts, Bisali and Nandu boarded the flight back home on a mutually decided date. Evaluating the latest phase of their life, flying at a height of more than 35000 feet, lost in their thoughts, contemplating the current situation, they were flowing and moving on with this evolution of emotions.

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