How Do I Make Amends?

How do I cope with the shame that I feel

And then look you straight in the eye?

And how do I claim to stand for what's right,

Then accept disregard for your lives?

I grew up in a place that was safe and secure;

Opportunity knocked at my door.

I never accepted enough was enough

When the world always offered me more.

The schools I attended were cloaked in pure white,

And I watched from their lily-white halls

While you had to fight for the little you had,

And I was just handed it all.

The black of your skin made you different from me,

And I learned from the powers that be

That we'd never be allies in living this life

And should remain on our side of the streets.

But as I grew up, I became so confused,

And I wished to get closer to you.

But how could you trust a word that I said?

When all I'd shown you were callous abuse?

How do I make some sense of it all

When injustice can't ever make sense?

And how do I seek your forgiveness?

When I can't begin to know how to repent?

The cycle of hatred is hard to escape

When adults in your life lead your way.

And how do you face that those "truths" once believed

Were just words to control and betray?

I know I can never right all the wrongs

Or remove all the scars left behind.

But my heart feels the weight of the hurt that we caused,

And your torment encumbers my mind.

I ponder incessantly on what I can do.

I don't want to seem shallow or fake.

Is it enough that I willingly stand by your side?

Or are there far too many amends to be made?

I need you to know how sorry I am,

Though I'm sure it's too little too late.

But I want you to see that I won't let you down

And your hope in me ever forsake.

My promise is now to bear witness.

I won't leave you alone in your pain.

And for the sake of your children and grandchildren,

I'll fight for a world filled with change.

Your survival is proof of your courage

And exposes what cowards we've been!

And I long for and pray that one day I'll be blessed

To, perhaps, hear you call me your friend.