Confused Man, Empowered Woman

How My Guruji Guided A Newly Made, Confused Dad

(Note: For the uninitiated, in India a spiritual leader is often called a 'Guru' or more venerably, 'Guruji')

She shrieked for forty eight hours straight

And it was equally painful for me;

Then they said a boy has been delivered,

That I may go inside and see.

Confused and uncertain of what to do next;

For I was not ready to be a dad yet;

I put my slow steps inside the labor room;

The wife had her eyes shut.

Gently I shook her up,

'Hey dear,' said I, with a fake happy smile;

She said that for all the time I had fun with her in bed,

It has been worthwhile.

'You'll be a good mom, you'll take good care of him,'

Said I to make her happy;

Said she, 'No time to be mom, going gym to get my curves back;

You change the baby's nappy.'

Had I ever changed my own nappy to do it now for baby?

Maybe Guruji can help;

Bought some gutkha to chew and hurried off to ashram;

Guruji got up with a loud yelp.

I asked, 'He pulls my chest hair and my ear;

How can I teach him to respect me?'

'What to speak of innocent babies;

Even I don't respect gutkha chewers,' snarked Guruji.

'I have never been a parent,' rued I,

'Can you teach me how to be one?'

'The way you learned to procreate,' said he,

'You will also learn to be a dad soon;

But anxious and worried as you seem,

You'd teach him nothing but anxiety,' he fumed.

He paused to take a sniff from his snuffbox,

Exclaimed a deep sense of thrill, then resumed.

'So you say you are a new dad;

Have you thought about how to bring him up?'

'I will give him good education Guruji;

Make him what I couldn't be: a man of medicine.'

Guruji looked at me with some vexation

And inhaled a heavier dose of snuff;

Then he smiled, 'With a dad like you around,

Bringing up a child is really tough.'

Then he uttered it all in one breath:

A feat only Guruji can be capable of;

'Hear o friend, you came before him,

So you could teach, protect and guide him thereof;

The child is not your property,

So you have no right to force or dominate him;

Stop seeking respect and learn to love him,

While your wife goes away to gym.'