Literary Colonel
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Singing in the shower is all fun and games...until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it's just a soap opera.
I hate it when I'm singing and the artist gets a word wrong.
Sorry I couldn't take your call...I was too busy dancing to my new ringtone!
I'm not afraid of death. I just don't wanna be there when it happens.
When I die, can someone please keep updating my Instagram? I'd love to freak people out
I Swear, next time I lose my mind I ain't even gonna look for it anymore
Dear Karma I've got a list of the people you missed
I weigh 200 pounds on Earth, and 76 on Mars Therefore, I'm not overweight I'm just on the wrong planet
I want history to repeat itself...I can get a dinosaur!
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