Commitment And Complications

Lights off, laying on bed, alone and blank, enjoying his favorite radio channel, Rudra got stroked by a song.

“Hum bewafa harkiz na the, Par hum wafa kar na sake”

Being a bit inclined toward literature, he usually focusses on lyrics, and the song reminds him of someone. Someone, whose memories still remind him that he had failed on being on his own commitment. Someone, who has made his life paradise, and he returned hell to her. Someone, for whom he was once ready to do anything, but now the situations are different, he was the only one to leave her on the middle, and she stills stands there, fighting with the waves, alone but strong, just like a feather of an albatross on the ocean waves. Wet, squeezed, beaten every second by the waves but still on surface. Wave has tried its best to plunge her inside the ocean but failed. Although the feather is successful in surviving the tides still it will never find its shore. No matter how long it will defeat the wave, but its position will remain the same, it will be on that same point where it departed from the albatross.

“Barkha”, a deep-down breath released from his heart spelled out her name. A storm of old memories and incomplete promises hit the apiary of his heart, resulting all feelings waggle out. As if someone had disturbed the time-stream, and send him back to his old days, or god just introduced the playback button in life, and testing first on him. He was back in 2012, first year of his engineering years. “Remember, only success key for life is honoring your commitments. Never commit to someone, without thinking twice on it, and never think once on that after our commitment. Words are only weapon human have, so you should be careful before using it, and once used you should honor its consequences.” These were words from his father while departing after admission in college hostel. And this is what he did throughout his life, he never went off his commitments but once. He had failed once. Imagine a situation, someone who taught you to dance whole life, and once you became a good dancer the same person tied your legs saying you are not supposed to dance; strange or painful? Well it’s both, and Rudra was going through the same situation.

It was the college Ganesh puja function, where Rudra met Barkha. Being in second year and highly active on cocurricular activities Rudra had owned a good reputation in his college. He was in the core organizing team for the puja. While distributing prashads, he came across a very similar face.

“Hey, are you from DAV, Hehal?” He exclaimed. “Have you seen me there before?”

“Off course, how could I miss noticing the school head boy.” A wink blend with blush flooded Barkha’s face.

Well, Rudra was not a kid to not understand her wink, handing off his work to his friend, he rushed toward her.

“Why are you wandering alone? Where are your friends?”

“Busy with their boyfriends.”

“And what about you? Long Distance Relationship?”

“Yes, six months long.”

“I didn’t get you.”

“It’s been six months for my breakup and since then there is no sign of my ex, no calls, no text and no point of contact.”

Soon, Barkha and Rudra became friends, although the entire college took them as a couple, but both denied it every time. They bunked the college several times to spend time together, in the college also, classes were only distance between them, otherwise both of them could be seen sitting in the cafeteria together, except during class time, it was hard to find any of both without another. Rudra was the most determined guy no matter whatsoever – study, sports or extra-curricular activities. He convinced his lazy group to wake up at 6:30 AM and walk approximately 3 Kilometers almost daily to catch the college bus at Old Market’s East Gate just to get five more minutes to get her nearness. Typically, college bus took five minutes from Old Market’s East Gate, her boarding point to their hostel stop that once upon a time used to be their boarding point. After travelling so long, if he gets a sudden notice of Barkha going to be absent today, he would either go her hostel for confirming her wellbeing, or he will get down on the boarding point near his hostel.

Rudra was one of the ideal boy, always buried in books, never wore jeans but also never compromised on his look and dress. Even in winter, every morning he bathed and shampooed his weekly trimmed hair. His black shoes always shined, sometime even more than his glittering swollen eyes seeing the test results. His dress well ironed, better than the college professors’. Overall if every engineering student were North Pole, a vivacious, funny, carefree, believing that backlogs were ornament and essence of masculinity, then he was South Pole, a polished, disciplined, “liked by every mom” type of boy who believed that every reference in assignment papers needed a thorough study to justify his presence in this renowned engineering college. Guys named him Rudra because his real name, something like Rudrabhishek Aadiyogi Singh Shuryawanshi, was too long for them to pronounce.

It was the beginning of third year for Rudra, WhatsApp was new for all and craze for it and dare message were on its own peak.

“Choose a number from 0-9 and a dare is waiting for you.” Rudra pinged Barkha. She replied with the number 5. Rudra being witty, made some edit in the chained reply, making number 5 dare to “Propose me”.

“Mr. Rudrabhishek Aadiyogi Singh Shuryawanshi, you are the best person among the all I’d in my life, I can’t imagine my life without you, and if it is what all call love, then I love you.” This was unexpected. Rudra was expecting her to be annoyed by this and some angry text, as he used to get by other. He always loved to play prank with others. But the reply from Barkha took him in another state of mental trauma.

“I was expecting a reply, emotionless idiot”, Barkha pinged him again.

“Well I’m speechless, I expected you to get annoyed, but this message is a bit indigestible.”

“You mean to say that this was one of your prank, and you have no emotions in this manner?”

“I didn’t mean so, I’m still confused about this, I do have feelings but these all were supposed to be in final semester, after I get job.”

“So, you don’t want me to enjoy my love life? It’s as boring plan as you. Say yes, otherwise I’m announcing to all that we had a breakup, and I’m single now.

“It’s definitely yes, but breakup without patch-up don’t sounds weird to you?”

After a couple of conversation, they make the fake rumor of their relationship true, even declared it on their Facebook status.

Rudra graduated to the third year, left the hostel and moved to a rented apartment, in the vicinity, logic was simple, girls were not allowed in boy’s hostel, Rudra and Barkha were finding it difficult or expensive to meet at coffee house or canteen every time. One-night Barkha was staying at Rudra’s place helping in his major project work. Barkha’s parents called in the morning, Rudra was sleepy, and both them were so much in love that they had put up the same ringtone on their cell phones. Rudra picked-up the phone and answered, “Hello”. It was Barkha's Dad, he asked who is it? To which our lame guy replied, "I'm Rudra".

"Who Rudra?", the voice on the other side of the phone shouted. Our guy realized the deep shit he had just stepped onto. He had picked Barkha’s call by mistake.

He snapped, “Oh! Shit!”, I'll like to mention the phone was not disconnected when he snapped.

It was placement season and Rudra got placed on day Zero. After the placements, Barkha decided to discuss the matter to her parents. Obviously, her parents denied on grounds of cast, religion, culture etc. But Barkha consistently kept fighting acknowledging her parents how good Rudra was and even he had a job now, by the end they agreed. So now everybody knew, some were happy about the news and other accepted it with a pinch of salt. Rudra was sent on a foreign assignment on a very short notice, he did not really have a choice. Also, he thought any extra penny he made, could be used for living a happy life with Barkha. Long distance relationships are very difficult to handle, after all turmoil they had in their lives, they tried to cope up with all the negatives and kept the relationship afloat.

On the first valentine of their long-distance relationship, Barkha informed Rudra that despite of all her efforts, her parents has fixed her engagement. Rudra got furious at the news, felt cheated and called up Barkha’s dad. This time Rudra lost his cool, he shouted at Barkha’s dad, explaining him that whatever he did was wrong, as he was the only one who accepted their relationship six months ago.  Barkha's Dad had no choice but to call up Rudra's Dad and discuss. There was not much to be discussed. The kids had started it, and now they had ended it. 

Being very unaware of the situation, got a shock after the discussion by Barkha’s dad.

“Why do you want to be with her?” Asked Rudra’s dad.

“Because I love her dad, we had a strong relation of three and half years. She is the best I can ever get.” Rudra explained.

“Try to understand, you will not get any dowry in love marriage, I too don’t feel good taking dowry but can you guarantee, do future in-laws of your sister think so? And our financial condition is no longer hidden to you. Even after I agree to this marriage, I’ll have to sell my ancestral farming land for the marriage, do you want me to do so? To sell all your grandfather and his ancestors had earned for us? That how we are going to pay them back?” The internal grief of this father was clearly visible.

“Dad, I’m earning, and I’m earning pretty good, and Upasana will be a dignified Doctor after her MBBS, do you think anyone will demand dowry upon her beauty and qualifications?”

“But the society is not going to accept this inter-caste marriage, we are pure Aryan blood, Rajput, and they are Kayast. No one will accept a daughter-in-law from a lower caste. I can’t accept to this marriage, as I can’t have my heads down in society”

“You were the one, who explained me to honor my commitments.”

“And now I’m asking you to leave her, you have to choose between her and your family.”

Rudra had no choice. They got separated, did not speak for two years, did all the obvious things like blocking each other's phone numbers, Facebook accounts, twitter accounts etc. It was college's alumni meet a few months back, where they have seen each other again, after a long interval of two years. Since from then, Rudra was unable to sleep, he was haunted by his past, where unwantedly he left the best girl of his life alone, taking all the blames on himself.

They are matured now, college had ended 2 years ago. They were both more successful in their lives now. Sometimes, we give importance to other so much that we forget what we need and keep chasing what others want. They have exchanged their numbers in the meet. They got to talking again, Rudra would still send those cheesy lines, that somehow make her smile.

Putting his all guts together, Rudra called Barkha, to explain her all his circumstances, and asked her if they could be together again. Barkha’s first reaction was, “So now you know you want it, I know you want it but your parents, you think they will accept us together again?” She snapped at him, “What kind of love is this!”. She doesn’t want to see herself broken again. How much can you trust someone who has betrayed you once already, it’s like giving him another bullet to aim for a head shot because last time the impact was not fatal enough.

Rudra very calmly replied, “What is love, if it cannot accommodate people when they come back, and admit their mistakes? The real test of love is not in sticking around, the real test of love is in coming back even after getting carried away in a wrong path. Love is not about making one feel guilty all her life for what they had done, but it’s about making them feel blessed with what they have."

She was quiet, thinking he is right, love is unconditional, judging people is for lesser minds. He could have married someone else in these two years, but he did not. Even though he had no idea that he will meet her in the alumni meet, and even lesser idea that he will be forgiven and accepted back by her. Destiny got them together again.