Her Unseen Illness

It's been a month since my friend Jenny got ditched by her boyfriend ending up leaving her after 4 years of relationship.

My trust towards this world has broken again oh sorry not once but a thousanth time may be even more of it. To find an escape with this cruel world I always visit my NGO to support those physically disabled but extremely incredible folks.

Today too, I want to inform same to my mom but found a letter on table of my living room.

"Hy darling Eva,

Hope you are having a great morning, I have to leave for my urgent reporting session when you were resting on your bed, please accept my apologies for not spending time with you this sunday, take your orange juice, breakfast and lunch, I will be back in the evening

Love

Your Mom"

My mom always stays busy or may be pretends to be busy for may be she knows the moment she will be at home, every corner will ask her about where her husband went, yes her husband, my dad but honestly I have never seen him after my kinder garden, according to my mom he left us for his job, went London and never came back.

Mom with her career remained here and is an amazing journalist of news today.

After my breakfast, I dressed up to go at my fav escape, My NGO.

The day was windy with the rays of winter sunshine and happy weather.

I went inside to meet one of my fav girl Nia, blind by eyes but can still see the beauty everywhere, I don't know how she manages to do that.

Hey Nia how are you? I asked her cheerfully

I am good Eva she said with a smiling face

I wanted to talk with her more but my eyes met with a tall handsome hunk with grey eyes, he was already looking at me, I felt little awkward and asked Nia to find a corner in a garden to sit there, Nia said let's sit besides the fountain I don't know how this girl without her ability to see can actually suggest good places to sit and enjoy.

Well, we went there and sat besides the fountain, Nia started telling her about how her week went, I was listening to her peacefully until the same guy came up and said Hi Eva

I was shocked and surprised about how he knows my name and how can a person be so cheerful with me when I don't even know who this guy is, I almost ignored him till he said we were in the same school remember? I was like bro I don't even remember who I was in school days You think I will remember you but all my lips could say was "yeah" with dull voice.

honeslty I have never seen such a beautiful smile that this guy has. He asked me to have a coffee with him but I refused but don't know my refusal brought sadness into my veins, he went and after spending three or four hrs I came back home.

I went to my mom's room, she was there, I hugged her, she asked me about my day, "fine it was" we exchanged smiles, and I came back to my room.

I was tired and then my phone buzzed with a notification

"Harry has request to follow you"

All I have in my mind was who is this until the glimpse of his profile picture helped me to recognize this boy.

Okay so his name was harry the same guy who I refused to have a coffee with. I accepted and started following him back.

Like every boy he popped up to my DM and said nice meeting you

I don't know why but I smiled probably it is the first time someone saying this to me but the moment I noticed I am smiling I logged out my profile and went to write my diary.

All I have today to tell my diary was about the guy called harry I was trying to ignore.

My mom called me from dining area

" Eva come let's have dinner, I made your fav dish"

I was happy and me and my mom met at dinner table.

"Its delicious, mom" I said with licking my fingers

Thanks baby, she said with a smiling face

After having our dinner, mom asked me "guess what?"

I was all jumbled and asked what?

"I have been nominated in journalist of the year by times now" she said happily

"Woww mom congratss" I shouted with so much of happiness.

Mom murmured in herself if I would have went with him, may I won't be here today.

"Love makes people weak, right" I asked her with hiding my tears, the way she did

"No sweety, he was a good guy just circumstances were not right and its all a part of life"

My mom is so good in hiding her emotions and thoughts may be she can not reveal that trust and love has broke her to a level that left me and her senses numb, how worst this trust, love, and belief can transform a person.

After watching a movie with her I went to my bed room to sleep but ended up logging in to my gram and started scrolling till the same guy I met today came up to my dm said how are you? I ignored his message but ignoring him is too hard so I casually replied fine and logged out.

Next day, on my way to NGO waiting for a auto, this tall guy with his black beautiful car came up and asked me hey Eva come I will drop you.

"No thanks I will manage"I said with good smile.

Do not be so formal Eva, we know each other since school, come I'll drop you.

I have my trust issues but I know basic self defence so I can manage with him. oh god! I need to stop overthinking

He opened his car door and I went inside.

I was actually happy, I felt safe, I felt like nobody can ever harm me now or may be I can do the weirdest thing sitting besides him.

You don't use much gram, right?he asked me with a smile

I almost scroll instagram for three to four hours but all my lips could answer was yeah, I don't use it much.

We shared a comfortable silence untill he asked me for a coffee again, Me who was sitting inside his car could not refuse to have coffee with him so yeah we went to a cute lil cafe and exchanged our thoughts about current affairs and psychology.

He then dropped me to NGO,

"my work do not allow me to come with you but see ya soon"

He said after waving his hand.

I waved back and smiled.The day was not an ordinary one, I was so happy I don't know why, weather seems amazing, I suddenly started loving flowers and hugged Nia.

"You look soo happy today Eva" Nia said smiling

How do you know? I asked with my confused mind

"Your energy is a witness" Nia said happily

I was again could not find how these people who are physically disable but still holds soo good idea towards life.

Well I have spent as usual two to three hours there and harry messged me "loved your vibe and company" I couldn't resist myself in replying to him "yeah same here"

After this we used to have a daily chats, he told me about how hard it was for him to get a permanent job and set things straight towards life, he always tried to asked me about my matters as well but my trust issues and perspective towards this world do not allow me to do same.

Next sunday, he came up NGO and I was happy meeting him untill he proposed me, my hearts wished to yeall yesss but jenny's break up, my dad's leaving my mom and all the failed relationships of my friends falshed in front of my eyes, I took a step back and Said No harry, we are just friends.

But..

I do not want to listen anything I said with a angry voice before he completes may be becuase I do not want him to convince me, I took another step back and ran away and came to my room with teary eyes, my fevar went high that day and slept without having my food.

Next morning when I woke up I saw mom in front of my eyes, she hugged me and offered me breakfast.

I left my gram, I stopped going to NGO for a week and found my space to set everything right.

I got to know from NGO itself that harry left the city as his job got transferred I gained my calm back and started going to NGO again.

After few weeks I opened my gram and found Harry's picture with his cute girlfriend.

Now, I am all sort out why Nia has this amazing perspective towards life because she is all able mentally, spiritually to see this world. "Not every disability can be physical" Some disabilities of trust issues and love and past and trauma do not come in front of anyone's eyes but people like me with such illness needs help too. I have started taking therapy and it may take sometime to realize somethings was an exception and not an example untill then learning to see the beauty of this life from people who cannot see but can still feel the vision of this world, someone who cannot walk physically but still standing strong aganist odds, someone who cannot speak but have the most beautiful thoughts and everyone in my NGO physically disabled but know how to love, trust, believe to live the best life in this world.