Awesome Foursome

Rhea and her friends shared an apartment which was quite near to their office. Alka, Supriya, and Janani were her roommates. All of them were in their twenties with a petite and curvaceous figure. They wore decent clothes even when they were at home. They hated being projected as sexual objects.

They also worked for the same company located in Koparkhairne in Navi Mumbai. They worked for a call center doing night shifts. They worked for five days in a week.

Their favorite past time was watching movies and making fun of them.

One day Rhea bought home a CD of a new movie. They started munching popcorn while enjoying the movie. Rhea opened her mouth to criticize the dialogues. She said, " He says that he can't live without her. Is he in a coma and she an oxygen cylinder?"

Rest of the girls giggled at her remarks. Alka suggested," Why don't we turn off the volume? We will speak for the characters." Her friends liked her idea. There was a hospital scene where the hero's mother was undergoing treatment for cardiac arrest.

The doctor came out looking grave. Alka started her commentary:

" Hero: How is my mother? Is she going to survive?

Doctor: How did this happen? Did you show her something scary?

Hero: I brought along my girlfriend to introduce her to my mother.

Doctor: I think your lady love was in a hurry to meet her future mother in law. She didn't apply enough makeup and nearly scared her to death.

Hero: Thank you for telling me the cause of my mother's illness. I am going to buy Pooja enough cosmetics to last for her life. I have just realized something. It is not just smoking that is hazardous to your health. Having a girlfriend has the same effect. One burns a hole in your lungs and the other burns a hole in your pocket."

The doctor gently tapped his shoulders and went away.

Rhea and her friends were clutching their stomach because of their nonstop laughter.

" Stop it, Alka, " pleaded Rhea with tears in her eyes. They paused the video to catch their breath. Supriya said, " I can't help wondering why the doctors are spineless characters in the movies. They say that they did their best to save the patient. If what they did is the best, I can't imagine the worst." They giggled like a couple of school girls. In the following scene, the hero and the heroine were engaged in a war of words.

Supriya began her version of their dialogues.

" Hero: When was the last time you brushed your teeth? I can't even kiss you as your mouth stinks.

Heroine: I brush my teeth twice a day. It's just that I can't resist eating junk food and onions.

Hero: I can tolerate your bad breath. However, I can't see you without makeup. You look like Bellatrix Lestrange of Harry Potter without it. I don't know how you managed to scare my mother.

Heroine: Take back your words. You are no Harry Potter yourself. You look like a cross breed of Rubeus Hagrid and Argus Filch. You don't even take a bath every day. Have you forgotten that I had gifted you a box of deodorant on Valentine's Day?"

They watched the movie silently until the climax. The hero bashed up the villain. The villain tendered his apologies.

Janani's comments had them in splits. She began:

" Villain: I am sorry for trying to snatch away your ladylove. She proved to be too expensive for me. I was a crorepati before falling in love with her. Now I am living on the roads because of that stupid damsel. I wonder how you managed to afford her though you hail from a middle-class family.

Hero: You should have done what I did. I threatened to upload her Adhar Card Photo on Facebook and Whatsapp if she didn't stop her demands. She is alright now."

Rhea switched off the TV after the movie ended on a happy note.

She got a call on her mobile. It was an unknown number. She casually picked it up and said, " Hello, May I know who is calling?" The Caller said, " I am the man of your dreams." Rhea replied sarcastically, " Don't lie to me. Superman doesn't exist in reality." The Caller teased her, " I think you are old enough to outgrow your dreams of Superman. You need a real man for a company." Rhea lost her temper, " Why don't you get lost? What the hell do you want?"

The Caller replied, " I want a date." Rhea hit back at him by saying, " Great. Buy yourself a calendar. You will get plenty of dates."

Alka happened to overhear her conversation. She couldn't help sniggering. Rhea glared at her, and she sobered at once. She remarked, "I would like to kick him in his crotch." Supriya offered a glass of Coke. She said, " Cool down, my dear Phoolan Devi. This guy has picked up a wrong girl." Rhea smiled at her.

They had another hectic week ahead.

It was Monday. They were getting ready to report to the office. No sooner did they log into their computers, than they started receiving the calls. Rhea received a hilarious call. She commented, " Hello, this is Alice Johnson. How may I assist you?" The Caller replied, " I am in serious trouble. I am suffering from constipation for the past two days. As a result, I have been farting too much. My wife threatened to divorce me. Can you prescribe some medicines for me? " Rhea answered politely, " I am sorry to hear about your health problem. However, you have dialed Apeejay Bank Customer Service number for credit cards."

The man was so embarrassed that he didn't say anything for a minute. He responded, " I apologize for my mistake. I was getting so frantic that I didn't notice having dialed a wrong number. I thought I was speaking to my family doctor." She promised him about the confidentiality of his call.

She documented the conversation as the wrong number. Rhea met her friends during the lunch break. They discussed their work while munching over their food. Rhea's mobile rang. She disconnected the call after seeing the number. The guy started sending messages. She sent him funny replies. Their conversation went like this:

He: Hi, Sweetheart!

She: Bye, Bitterkidney! How do you know my heart is sweet?

He: That was funny. What's up, baby?

She: It's the opposite of down, daddy!

He: Why are you calling me daddy?

She: Why are you calling me baby?

He: Forget it, honey. I am feeling horny. Can we have one night stand at your place or my place?

She: How about Central Jail?

He: Come on, baby. Stop behaving like a child. We will have a great time together in bed.

She: You will be having a great time in the hospital bed leering at the nurses after I break your bones.

He: Relax! Let us be friends. What's happening in your life?

She: I am going to have a bariatric surgery next week to reduce my weight by 90 kgs. My weight is 150 kgs.

He: Take care of your health, sister. Bye.

Rhea chuckled and switched off her phone. It was time to go back. The friends parted with a heavy heart.

They looked forward to the weekends.

Rhea woke up early in the morning on Saturday. She and Supriya went for their morning walk in the park opposite to their apartment. They saw a couple sitting under the mango tree. The boy was resting his head on her lap. She was ruffling his hair gently. " What a way to remove lice from your hair! The girl must be a relative of a monkey, " said Rhea as Supriya covered her mouth to stop herself from laughing.

Rhea liked to make people laugh. She not only made fun of others but also laughed at herself. Life could never be dull when Rhea was around.

Rhea and her friends enjoyed their life.

They were inseparable sisters in spite of their minor differences.