Happy Or Married?

One lovely evening, Sameer pressed the doorbell of his apartment and waited patiently outside. He was tired and frustrated after a busy day at the office and was badly in need of rest. But even after several rings, the door remained shut. After a while, Sameer lost his patience and hit the bell as hard as he could. In a way, he was pouring out the fury that was building within him with each passing moment. Finally, the door opened and his wife Mahi appeared with anguish written all over her pretty face.

She was terribly bored of sitting imprisoned in the house and doing household chores, all day long. Anyone else would have showered his anger upon his wife for keeping him waiting outside the apartment. But Sameer was among those who understood the virtue of remaing silent during the hour of crisis. Moreover, there was no use of saying anything to Mahi, as she was equipped with a landmine of accusations to counterattack Sameer. Like a doting husband, Sammer flashed a pretentious smile at his wife that appeared rather rueful and handed over the bag of groceries and vegetables to her. Mahi smirked at the bag and took it to the kitchen.

Sameer placed his bag on the table and thumped himself on the sofa. He slid back and his eyes drooped down autonomously out of exhaustion. He craved for a steaming hot cup of coffee. But he was sure that he had to wait for yet another hour for his wish to be obliged. Hence, he donned the mask of silence again and convinced his desires to wait and that too without making any complaints. His better half was busy analyzing the things he had bought from the market. Mahi placed the shopping bag on the kitchen table and took out things from it. Her beautiful face became contorted with anger as she saw the shape of things that came out the bag.

"Sameer!" Mahi roared as she rushed towards him, "what the hell is this?"

"What?" Sameer moaned as he somehow managed to open his somnolent eyes.

"Half the things from the shopping list are missing!" Mahi charged at her husband.

"Look, Mahi," Sameer raised his hands in surrender, "I don't have time for a silly fight. I'm tired to death."

"The onions are smaller than the size I've mentioned...and...and the spinach... its almost rotten." Mahi went on wailing out her complaints while turning a deaf ear to his pleas.

"Fine," Sameer clenched his teeth to prevent his fury from spilling out, "I'll buy you a fresh bunch tomorrow."

"And the milk," Mahi was determined to torment him as grotesquely as she could, "I had told you in the morning to buy 2 liters and you've brought only half-a-liter."

"Then why don't you go and buy the things yourself?" The bund of Sameer's patience broke and he yelled at her. "All you do the whole day is to sit in front of that idiot-box and watch some stupid soap operas!"

Mahi fell silent for a second as she was taken aback by Sameer's sudden and absolutely unexpected attack. The next moment, the venom of vengeance swell inside her like the sky-high tides of a tsunami. It was an unsaid rule in every household that a husband should silently submit himself to every accusation that a wife thrashes him with and never raise his voice to argue against the supreme power that rules over the house.

'How dare he?' Mahi thought in her mind while gritting her teeth in anger. It was the silence before the storm.

She raised her eyes that glowed like red ambers and looked at her husband like a wounded serpent. The infuriated look in her eyes meant it was time for yet another war.

"Mahi, I...I...am..really..." Sameer stammered as he regretfully realized that he had pressed the trigger of a time bomb that was ready to explode anytime now.

But it was too late for him to make an apology. Mahi fired him mercilessly with all the curses and abuses that she knew. The whole neighborhood echoed with the sound of the bombshells that she fired at her meek husband. One of their neighbors, Mr. Singh who was a retired armyman, rushed to close his door as it was time for him to meditate in peace. Another neighbor Tina, who was 20-year-old collegian promptly closed her windows, as she was preparing for her exams while swearing never to get married. Mrs. Vohra, who lived in the apartment opposite to them, started eaves-dropping as she was assigned the job of bradcasting the live coverage of the war going on in her neighborhood to other ladies of the housing colony.

As the war was going on in the full swing between the couple, Mahi chanced to notice an advertisement of a discount sale going on in a shopping mall near their locality, on their television set. Her words froze for a split second and Sameer found a perfect opportunity.

"I'll take you to the mall this weekend, baby," Sameer, who was badly devastated by the deadly attacks, held out a peace-treaty to his wife, "I swear, I will."

Mahi softened a bit and surrendered out of the lure of digging a big hole in Sameer's pocket. Sameer carefully took a few steps towards her and drew her in his arms. The couple smilingly settled down on the sofa. The apartment witnessed peace again after a fierce war.

"You look so handsome, Sameer," Mahi said running a finger on the contours of his face.

"It's always like that," Sameer said with a mysterious chuckle.

"Like what, honey?" Mahi asked in a honeyed voice.

"I don't know why, but," Sameer coughed and cleared his throat, "I turn handsome whenever there is a sale going on."

"What!" An enraged Mahi glared at him.

It was, as usual, too late before Sameer understood that he had played a wrong move again.

"Do you mean to say that I'm an opportunist?" Mahi armed herself for yet another attack.

"N...no.., baby," A jittered Sameer stammered again.

"Is that what you mean, you moron?"

It was time for the war to take over.

I really don't understand what exactly do people mean when they say they are "happily married." But I guess that they were just saying, that's all!