I had weakness developed for this wheel chair from very childhood days. I had the queer idea that person sitting on the chair must be very happy one. They have got nothing to worry. I was envious of my grandfather who was a paralytic. What idea would have been in mind regarding paralysis in those days? I did not have the mental maturity to understand the fatality of paralysis then.
I saw grandpa sitting all along on the cut, walk a little. He had nothing to do. One had to attend on him, take care of him. He occasionally uses his left hand. No one came on his way. I found him sometimes reading a newspaper or books. I thought what a fun? Nothing was to be done. You are left free to read, or do something else at your will. Nobody will chastise you. If you got ill, it was more of a benefit. I developed jealousy.
Grandpa did not lift me on his shoulder, nor did he call me as frequently before. Never talked much. Almost silent. I felt like weeping. I walked off him silently.
I had developed weakness, but for the wheelchair, that grandpa used. I carried the idea of being diseased like grandpa and to be laid on the chair and someone would be moving the chair. One day I expressed it to grandpa. He became pale with such words. Let this misfortune never fall on anyone. I was annoyed that day. I thought grandpa had developed selfishness, for sharing the chair. He did not like me as earlier days. I retreated with a heavy heart. I could not understand him then. But now, I have realized the hard truth behind it.
God granted me the boon/curse to be the friend of the wheelchair forever. Why did I get envious of grandpa? He is no more with us today. Everybody heaped a sigh of relief, the day he departed, that he escaped great pain. I was getting angry on them. Today, I feel they were speaking the truth. But, grandpa was fortunate. Whatever it may be, he was active. Our entire family was at his service. But there is none for me. What sins I committed in my life I don’t know. I am disheartened. I am crippled without the help of my parents.
Oh God! How cruel you are. You did not realize how a girl will survive. You are the father of the universe. Without understanding the implication of my imploration, you granted it. You are happy now. You might be contending seeing the tears in the eyes of a once jolly girl. I don’t know where my journey will end. But I am sure; the wheelchair will be my companion till the end comes. Tears filled my eyes. I felt as if, the wheelchair is deriding me.