(Some warm words for my granny...........)
Days have passed and turned into years, but nothing changed in me, I still remember you with silent tears...Granny, I know you are in a better place where there is no pain but peace. Heaven must be so beautiful. Don't come to this world again, it's really hard to breathe here. I am looking at the sky to find you again but it's raining heavily. I just sat near a window looking outside, remembering the day when you were at the last stage of your life, the whole village gathered to bid you goodbye. At that time, I was thinking you were still alive and must be really happy to see me after a long time. But I was wrong, you had already closed your eyes, by then. I couldn't even bid you my last goodbye. I hugged you but there was no more life in your body. I was a really bad child who always came late and understood everything later. I couldn't believe for some hours that you were no more. I still remember, people putting some pieces of cotton in your nose, turmeric on your face and made you look like a married women. I had never seen mama crying but on that day everyone cried and I looked at your face silently for sometime as I was in shock.
I can't accept that you are no more and I won't be able to hear your voice. Then suddenly uncles came up and took you away for cremating. All of a sudden I started crying loudly although every other time when I was caught crying, my parents used to slap me but that day I couldn't stop myself. I was shattered. I ran after you even though I was afraid to go to the graveside but I didn't want to lose you.
For the first time, I saw how a body turned into ashes. I even had fever, that day. After coming home, I cried a lot because no one was there to scold me. Then after the next morning, I went back to my hostel for the seminar. All the hostel mates were on vacation. Therefore, I had to spend the whole night alone, in fever. But I felt, you are always with me. I slept crying. At midnight, when I was shivering with fever maybe your soul called and asked me to eat something. Generally, I don't eat during sleeping hours. But that night I ate and cried loudly remembering you but all of sudden I felt smooth hair massage like you used to do and I fell asleep, again. Next morning I was late for college,was just able to reach before my turn, I gave my presentation properly and was appreciated. But all those appreciations didn't matter. I was hiding the pain with an artificial smile. I just wanted to finish everything and rush home.
The moment you left me, my heart was split into two parts. One was filled with your memories while the other died with you. I often lay awake at night when the world is fast asleep and take a walk down my memory lane with tears on my cheeks. It's hard to forget you, you gave me so much to remember you. When I was shattered or lost patience, I looked for you everywhere.
But there is no sign of yours. I know you might be angry with me for not fulfilling all your dreams.
You always asked me to study, you never said anything, how can I imagine you might send your fairy instead of you!
That was just an imagination, so sorry granny and thank you for saving me every time. If I could wish for one thing, it would be you calling out my name. Now, I would never disappoint you or my parents. I will fulfill all your dreams. Please bless and stay with me like always. Granny just smile and forget everything. God will call all of us one by one, we will be together again, wait for me until then.