How I Thought My Grandmother

When I was a girl of about twelve, I used to stay in a village in north Karnataka, with my grandparents. Those days,the transport system was not very good, so we used to get the morning paper only in the afternoon. The weekly magazine used to come one day late. All of us would wait eagerly for the bus, which used to come with the paper, weekly magazines and the post.

At the time, Triveni was very popular writer in the Kannada language. She was a wonderful writer. Her style was easy to read and very convincing. Her stories, usually dealt with complex psychological problems in the lives of ordinary people and were always very interesting.

Unfortunately for Kannada literature, she died very young. Even now, after forty years,people continue to appreciate her novels.

one of her novels, called Kashi Yatra, was appearing as a serial in the Kannada weekly Karmaveera then. It is the story of an old lady and her ardent desire to go to Kashi or varansi. Most Hindus believe that going to Kashi and worshipping lord Vishweshwar is the ultimate punya. This old lady also believed in this, and her struggle to go there was described in that novel.

In the story, there was also a young orphan girl who falls in love but there was no money for the wedding. In the end,the old lady gives away all her savings without going to Kashi. She says, the happines of this orphan girl is more important then worshipping lord Vishweshwar at Kashi.

My grandmother,Krishtakka,never went to school so, she could not read.Every Wednesday,the magazine would come and I would read the next episode of this story to her.During that time she would forget all her work and listen with the greatest concentration.Later, she could repeat the entire text by heart.My grandmother too never went to Kashi,and she identified herself with the novel's protagonist.So, more than anybody else she was the one most interested in knowing, what happened next in the story and used to insist that I read the serial out to her.

After hearing what happened next in Kashi yatre, she would join her friends at the temple courtyard where, children would also gather to play hide and seek.She would discuss the latest episode with her friends.At that time, I never understood why there was so much debate about the story.

Once, I went for wedding with my cousins to the neighbouring village.In those days,a wedding was a great event.We children, enjoyed ourselves throughly.We would eat and play endlessly,savouring the freedom because all the elders were busy.I went for a couple of days but ended up staying there for a week.

When I came back to my village I saw my grandmother in tears.I was surprised,for I had never seen her cry even in the most difficult situation.What had happened? I was worried.

Avva, is everything all right?Are you ok?

I used to call her Avva,which means mother in Kannada spoken in north Karnataka.

She nodded but didn’t reply .I did not understand and forgot about it.In the night, after dinner, we were sleeping in the open terrace of the house.It was a summer night and there was a full moon.Avva came and sat next to me.Her affectionate hand touched my forehead.I realised she wanted to speak. I asked her what is the matter?

When I was a young girl I lost my mother.There was nobody to look after and guid me.My father was a busy man and got married again.In those days people never considered education essential for girls,so I, never went to school.I got married very young and had children. I became very busy.Later, I had grandchildren and always felt so much happiness in cooking and feeding all of you.At times, I used to regret not going to school,so I made sure that my children and grandchildren studied well.

I could not understand, why my sixty two year old grandmother was telling me a twelve year old the story of her life in the middle of the night.But, I knew I loved her immensely and there had to be some reason why she was talking to me.I looked at her face. It was unhappy and her eyes were filled with tears. She was a good looking lady who was usually always smiling.

Even today, I cannot forget the worried expression on her face. I learned forward and held her hand.

Avva don’t cry. What is the matter? Can I help you in anyway?

Yes, I need your help. You know, when you were away, Karamveer came as usual. I opened the magazine. I saw the picture that accompanied the story of Kashi yatre and I could not understand anything that was written.Many time I rubbed my hands over the pages wishing they could understand what was written.But I knew it was not possible.If only I was educated enough.I waited eagerly for you to return.I felt you would come early and read for me.I even thought of going to the village and asking you to read for me.I could have asked somebody in this village but, I was too embarrassed to do so. I felt so very dependent and helpless. We are well of but, what use is money when I cannot be independent?

I didn’t know what to answer.Avva continued.

I have decided I want to learn the Kannada alphabet from tomorrow onwards. I will work very hard. I will keep Saraswati Pooja day during Dasara as the deadline. That day I should be able to read a novel on my own. I want to be independent.

I saw the determination on her face. Yet, I laughed at her.

Avva, at this age of sixty two you want to learn alphabet? All you hair is grey, your hands are wrinkled, you wear spectacles and you work so much in the kitchen.

Childishly, I made fun of the old lady. But she just smiled.

For a good cause if you are determined, you can overcome any obstacle. I will work harder than anybody but, I will do it. For learning there is no age bar.

The next day onwards, I started my tuition. Avva was a wonderful student. The amount of homework she did was amazing. She would read, repeat, write and recite. I was her only teacher and she was my first student. Little, did I know then that one day I would become a teacher in computer science and teach hundreds of students.

The Dasara festival came as usual. Secretly I bought Kashi yatre which had been published as a novel by that time. My grandmother called me to the Pooja place and made me sit down on a stool. She gave me a gift of a frock material. Then she did something unusual. She bent down and touched my feet. I was surprised and taken aback. Elders never touched the feet of youngsters. We have always touched the feet of god, elders and teachers. We consider that as a mark of respect. It is a great tradition but today the reverse had happened. It was not correct.

She said I am touching a feet of teacher, not my granddaughter, a teacher who taught me so well with so much of affection, that I can read any novel confidently in such a short period. Now, I am independent. It is my duty to respect a teacher. Is it not written in our scriptures that a teacher should be respected, irrespective of the gender and age?

I did return namaskara to her by touching her feet and gave my gift to my first student. She opened it and read immediately the title Kashi yatre by Triveni and the publishers name.

I knew then, that my student had passed with flying colours.