It was 6 am in the morning. She opened her swollen eyes, with a headache a little better than the last day. The dream, or the nightmare, where he leaves her alone in a pit amidst reptiles crawling all over her, was still lurking in her head. Condemning it she remembered, it was her birthday today. Coming to her senses, she went to the balcony to a misty morning. It had been pouring all night, so were her eyes. Ah, and she is meeting him in a few hours! She felt a huge pang in her stomach. “How is it going to be?” she thought, trying to keep her hopes low.
The last two days had been extremely heavy on Deepti. She had never felt this embarrassed and ashamed for being a person like who she was becoming. The guilt of hurting him was eating her away. She thought she lost him due to her worst self, someone who she does not even know!
Although it had only been a day since she met him, it felt like she has been away from him for years. Knowing it was her first birthday with him, the fear of not having him with her on her day was strong enough to keep her crying all day, and night. She wanted to go back to that fateful day when they fought, and correct it all. “But how did we end up fighting when all I wanted to tell him was that I am there for you, and that I understand why this is upsetting you ?” the thought was stuck in her head. She was actually witnessing how anger takes over her actions and intentions, and that how he is, even after loving her with all his heart, is moving away from her. Yes, she was scared of losing him. Yes, she loves him, the way she knows she can ever love anyone.
Time does not move when you are waiting for something to happen. Today was no exception. She was done with all her daily chores, routine and special days’ with family and it was just 9.30 am.
He had not texted her even once despite being up early for a meeting. “Of course he is mad” said a voice from inside. But he did appeared calm last night before wishing her. That call was not what their usual late night calls are, deep, involving real conversations, but can he be blamed? After what had happened, how was he even talking to her is what she kept on wondering. “He is being kind to me, for its my birthday and he doesn’t want to ruin it” was making her feel even terrible.
The least she wanted from him that day was this consideration. She had even told him, “Please, Aman, don’t do this because you don’t want to ruin the day”. His reply she had not even acknowledged to be truthful. In her head she was determined, it is ruined for her own deeds. It was time for repentance!
He had not called her till 11.30 am. Her heart was pounding, ‘’Has he cancelled the plan already?” asked the same frail voice, fearing the unimaginable. “But at least he should have wished me once and told me about his change of mind!” said another. Why is there always a conflict in her head about him? She shrugged and made a call to him. “I will pick you up at 2” he said. And suddenly the heart started pumping again! She blushed a bit, somehow withstanding the same terrible feeling of loathing.
She looked at herself in the mirror. The dark circles and swollen eyes were shouting her plight. Yet she looked good in his favorite black jumpsuit, dark brown lip shade and dangling earrings. He still talks about the day he saw her in that look for the first time and how it floored him! “when did you start dressing for him?” she thought to herself and smiled!
An update call around 2 and he had changed the venue, asking her to come to a point as he is stuck. “He is definitely doing you a favor” the voice she hated the most sprung up again. Some back and forth later, she was in a cab heading to some place she had no clue about. Hopelessly depressed, but still the fact that she would get to see him was keeping her going. Though fearing what if the day again turns out the way it did a couple of days back. She knew she can’t be angry at him anymore, certainly not after being so ashamed of what she did. He was not even talking to her while commuting, something that only raised her doubts on his mood.
Just 5 minutes before reaching the place, she realized where she was headed. It was their usual place where they cut off from the world for hours only to be lost in each other. Adrenaline rush made her dizzy! She called him. And yes, it was the same place he asked her to reach and come upstairs.
A few seconds between the knock on the door and his opening it to her appeared like hours to her. “what should I say? Should I hug him? Should I smile? How would he react after all that happened?
Has he made this plan coz I asked him to, a few days back?” and a few thousand other questions in those seconds crossed her mind. And the gate opened to him looking as handsome as ever in that light blue shirt and black trousers. But wait, what is that light behind him? And a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hand? And balloons, so many of them? And cake? And that charming, welcoming, heart-warming smile he opened the door with? She doesn’t remember what happened in the next few moments, when she regained her senses in his arms, his shirt ruined with that favorite lipstick and those tears he hates the most. He had planned a surprise for her birthday.
A room full of happiness, for just the two of them. And she realized nothing had changed. His eyes still had the sincerity of his love when he looked at her lovingly.. his fingertips cruising through her face, neck, shoulder, and her back, reassuring him that she is there in front of him, and shouting to her how much she is desired by him. And he whispered in her ears, “Happy Birthday Deepti"!
She never really understood why people enjoyed sharing their vulnerabilities with each other, until she met him that moment that day!