Shit Happens

We met over 15 years ago in an arranged marriage. We shared the same background, the same ideologies - everything was peachy.

So we tied the knot and were on cloud nine. To everyone, we were the 'IT' couple who had it all. We decided amongst us that I would be the stay-at-home mom, while he brought in the bread. He had an excellent job and was habituated in raking in the big ones.

A year or two on and we welcomed a little boy into the world. The baby was extremely cute and stole the hearts of everyone around. Two years later, we welcomed another bundle of joy.

Years went by, we moved around as he shifted jobs. We lived life king size and the children were growing up happy and content. They were not spoilt in the strictest sense of the term but secure.

During our life together, he sought comfort with other women. We had many tiffs on this issue. But, he promised me with the last one that he was done.

Then suddenly, it happened. Prem applied for a job overseas and after celebrating a decade of being together, he disappeared. He left loans in his wake, leaving me to attend to his misdeeds and debts. I was hounded from every source. He left me with a meagre amount in the joint savings account and stopped any contact with the children and me. I was stunned and confused and so were the kids. They still are.

I had not worked for years. I had given up my job when I married Prem. We had agreed that I would be the homemaker. My family did not have any idea about what was going on with us. We hid it well. His family, on the other hand, knew everything, but did not breathe a word of it to anyone.

I tried reaching him repeatedly on his number, at his email address, but he did not respond. Having been born abroad, he did not have a care. As he had a foreign passport, he used it to his advantage.

I had to pay off his debts with the help of my family, who struggled to help. I went back to work, attended to the children and continued with life. Though I was extremely hurt and could not believe that Prem would forget our kids, I pushed on.

Eventually, I divorced him reluctantly through an ex-parte decree and set myself free from the constant debts that were more than I knew. The sad part, aside from leaving us desolate and without proper care, was that he did not feel the need to explain things to us. He did not have the decency to let us know why.

People tell me to get married again. I am too drained and cannot be bothered going down this road. I firmly believe that my vows were for life. I sought the legal route because otherwise, I would be paying his debts to this day.

Common friends have informed me that he had created a new life somewhere else. He is a father the third time round. Of course, given the fact that he was always promiscuous, he may have many more children scattered around.

Divorce is not always a choice. Sometimes, it is forced on you. SHIT HAPPENS.