Her Rebirth

The world is incomprehensible enough as it is. I became conscious of this at a very early age.

One day, during those formative years, my Principal- {bless her soul} - holding the hand of my classmate, Prachi, had taken her to the meeting place, praising her qualities, giving her reward! For sure she was no great achiever in academics or anything. But someone told me that her uncle was the president of the school management committee. How did that matter? It was beyond my understanding.

Kajori, {yes- that's me}, might have been one of the ugliest looking girls around, but definitely her grades were top-class, and she deserved the reward. She nonetheless was merely left applauding Prachi.

Could I have revolted? It didn't help that I had a divorced mother fending for herself and I, her only daughter, had no other support. That was also when Prachi appeared on my radar, so to speak.

My first response, which had been etched in my mind was also hard to understand; from fury against her to the admiration of her beauty! May be all the negativity I felt for her was wiped away by her beauty!

As I gradually came to know her more, I began to understand her. She was a gentle, sweet-natured girl. Helpful. All the attributes of a good human being.

In those days, I was entering the adolescence and my mind and body were signalling conflicting thoughts. My mother used to say, “Kajori be an honest young lady...behave yourself...don't let boys lead you astray...”Sadly, boys were not interested in me. Who would care for a non-beauty? Initially they did rouse my feelings, but their continued disregard and blatantly dismissive behaviour made me eventually hate them. Not that I was bothered! Only girls kept me company, but I was lonely.

Prachi was different. An orphan. She was always around when I felt dejected. Ever a great supporter of me like none other. Often her reassuring sweet nothings brought colour to my cheeks! But how would I have known that gradually she was entering my psyche; my total being! That appeared to be the most natural thing occurring to me! I wanted to emphasise her beauty and femininity... the world be damned if anybody raised eyebrows at us.

How did a girl like me get this courage and volition? Was this out-of-the-way? Might not be! A recent international report had mentioned that one in every two-young people said that they were not 100% heterosexual.

Meanwhile, another change was also becoming visible in me. It was amazing, to say the least. I remember that day when the Principal called my mother. She had said that I was different, mentally, and physically as compared to other girls! And what a difference!

Since then years have passed and, as the proverb goes, much water has flown below the bridge. I have been bombarded with umpteen researches, given rise to wonderment and controversy; so many of them that I have lost count. Despite all these I have accepted my uniqueness with conviction! And why not?

My brain tells me that it is a divine intervention!! Although God has not endowed me with many boons, this singularity has definitely been His most benign blessing!

Today is a Sunday. The tranquillity of this bright, cool sunny morning has been disturbed by a small group outside my house. I say to my mother, “Please tell them to go away.” “Are you sure, Kajori?” asks my mother.

“Of course, I'm. Survival of the fittest, mother. I'm not going against Darwin. Also, I don't want unnecessary scars on my body.” My thoughts are clear and concise.

It's a known fact that we are all born to die. And frankly, I don't understand why it should be made into such a big deal. If it were not for my mother I would have said that to the bunch of people outside my house, some of them with young kids, shouting slogans, waving placards, wanting me to cut one of my beating hearts out.

"Save A Life. Donate!" they shout.

For somebody who is one in billions I expect to be cared for better. Doctors and scientists are still confused about my condition that gave me two hearts. But years of research and sticking needles into me have led them nowhere, and they have labelled me as a freak. A mutant! It's so rare - one in all humankind.

I don’t know what is right for them to do, but they want to cut one of my hearts out and save a life. An exceptional IQ, increased concentration, extraordinary athleticism, and a phenomenal metabolism rate - are just the few benefits of my increased blood circulation because of my two hearts. Why would I want to give that up?

The group of people soon runs out of steam and disperses. For me nothing changes, life runs along as usual. But I feel that it will change very shortly.

Prachi is with me today evening; her hair is open, freshly shampooed... a wonderful aroma is floating around. She looks so stunning. Her large dreamy eyes, curling eyelashes, beautifully arched eyebrows, a sharp nose, pink lips, creamy whiteness of her heart-shaped face crowned by a halo of black wavy hair falling to her waist... all spread an aura of mesmerising and mystifying exquisiteness around her. She is such a contrast to me!

This is one of those days for me. My emotions are no longer in control; mother is also not at home; why should I restrain myself?

I know even Prachi wants me. I am in her consciousness. Can I ever forget what she had once sounded out, “Kajori... we are one...body and soul...? I love you!”

Before I can realise, my hands are around her in profound embrace, her hair is intermingling with mine, her words are echoing in my mind, my face is near her, we want each other, our breath rise and fall together! Nothing else matters anymore. Time seems to be standing still.

How long this continues I won’t know, but it seems eternal! Then she unexpectedly clasps her heart; her beautiful face is distorted in pain!! My God, I too can perceive it as if that sensation is racing through my body! She seems to be very, very sick...very stricken! I take her to the hospital, post haste!

It is an emergency situation. She is in the ICU with an uncertain future. The doctors have prescribed a series of critical tests. The Surgeon looks at the reports, “Ma'am, your friend has a congenital heart disease and her heart is failing rapidly; it is in bad shape. We can manage with medicines for a while but only a heart transplant will save her life. I will suggest a transplant at the earliest. Please move at once as getting a compatible heart is very difficult and time consuming.”

Frankly speaking, despite all my inner strength, the world collapses around me! My Prachi... my companion! Her life is at stake? She needs a new heart? Where will I arrange that so soon?

No wait! It is heaven sent that I have been blessed with two beating hearts! Till today I have been strongly against cutting out one of my hearts for anyone's benefit. But if Prachi leaves me, I will be alone! Nobody will come to deliver me from my loneliness - not for this unsightly girl. And so, what will be the purpose of those boring benefits of my two hearts, increased blood circulation, et al?

My mind is in a flutter! Yet the solution is obvious! No more thoughts. I say to the Surgeon.” Please examine me… I am one of those rare human beings, one in all humankind who has two hearts...please take my heart and save my friend. “Unwittingly tears swell in my eyes!

My mother bustles in as is her wont and takes my hand in hers, eyes in tears, “Kajori … my child. what is this I hear... you will give one of your hearts to Prachi... my God who would have thought that this is happening to her … but...”? She holds me tight, “I can't believe that you have changed your views about donating your organs.”

I push her back, looking at her, “Mother, this is for Prachi... she needs to be alive … otherwise I too will die!” Mother puts her hand on my head, a gesture of her blessings. “I understand Kajori... this is wonderful … you will be a torchbearer of friendship... sacrifice...”

Now this needs to be made clear to her; I make her sit on the couch and take her hand, “Mother… Prachi is my friend no doubt but she is more than that...much more than that… “She looks surprised. I continue, “She is my life, my companion... we are bound by the eternal bond ship...! “

I stop and stare at her. Slowly comprehension is drawing upon her; I can see that; this is not something she has ever expected in her dreams; she is so conservative!

She doesn’t utter any words and turns away. I know she will support me; she has always done so all these years. All tests are carried out and my heart is a successful match for Prachi. I am told that the operation has been performed successfully.

I have forever been a robust girl; so, my recuperation is not any issue. But Prachi is of delicate disposition; her body will take time to adjust to a new organ, my heart! Later the Surgeon comes in, “Ma'am, your friend Prachi is recovering well. She is fortunate to have you.”

Yes indeed! I shiver to imagine what would have taken place if I hadn't been this freak mutant... Hearts awesome... or didn’t have providential blessings! Could I have actually saved her? Would there have been any other divine intervention in her case? I highly doubt it.

Now that I have been a heaven-sent support to her; I feel the joy; it is antithetical to my feelings of selfishness that I harboured for so long!! This is true happiness...somehow, I want it to flood me repeatedly!! Who knows though...it may become my second nature!

And why only Prachi? I have experienced plenty of misery and sufferings here. Each year, thousands of people pass away while waiting for a transplant because no suitable donor can be found for them. The demand for organ donors has never been bigger. Although we are all deported to pass away, we too have the right to exist!

Can I disregard all these? The hospital, the operation, Prachi's recovery, are all receding in memory but with a change! My heart, only one now, seems to be beating to a different rhythm... compassionate...helpful … magnanimous!!

I know ... I will be a beacon of hope for others; be the divine messenger of mercy! My organs will be gifted to others! Perhaps I can urge and inspire more folks to follow my steps! Prachi has promised to join me in my crusade.