Continued from Part – 2...,
Amirah felt shattered in that moment. She didn’t have the right to choose her life partner. She wasn’t able to gather the pieces of her life as she had dreamed. She had dreams and ambitios to make her own identity. But now everything seemed like leaving out from her hands. She gathered her guts and moved her legs. With a heavy heart, she entered in her room. She wiped out her continuously streaming tears. She thought, her imagined dreams will remain only dreams for her. She will never make it possible in reality. She threw herself in a bed. Thoughts and emotions were grinding her heart with cruelty. Chest felt heavy pain as hurtful emotions have attacked on her. She felt her eyelid heavy. With teary eyes, she fell into the sleep, but her heart was still burning in agony.
In the afternoon Ammi prepared tiffin for Abu. Amirah was in her room, looking out of the window. She was lost in deep thoughts of the vortex. Her facial expression was absorbed in her misery. The nice and cold breeze was slithering over her face. Her long black-brown wavy hair flew over her shoulder. Hairs were playing over her cheeks; she grabbed it and tucked it behind her ear. She was hustling with her thoughts. She was in dilemma to choose Abu’s decision or her childhood love. Both decisions would change her fate into completely different direction. She was surrounded by hurtful feeling which was stinging inside her like a thorn. She was feeling restlessness. Soreness of her heart was locked inside her. She was lost in the desert of thoughts. Nothing seemed as a hope.
“Amirah beta…? You have to go to the shop to give tiffin.” Ammi spoke from the kitchen.
Amirah was lost in her chains of thoughts. She couldn’t listen to her. Ammi came in her room. Amirah was sitting near the window. Her eyes were staring at one spot, but mind was lost into a different world. One drop of tear was lingering under her eyelid. Ammi gently put her hand on her shoulder and asked in a warm tone, “Amirah beta?”
Amirah wiped out the tears and looked up at Ammi.
“Beta Amirah? What happened?” Ammi asked in a worried tone.
“Nothing Ammi,” she stretched a fake smile on lips, and asked, “What was it?”
Ammi lifted the tiffin and answered with a smile. Ammi gazed into her eyes, and read her heart’s unspoken affliction. Nothing can be stay hidden from mother eyes.
Amirah maintained her fake smile on lips and said, “Oh! Yes Ammi… I forgot to send tiffin for Abu.” then she took tiffin and went out to the shop.
Ammi understood everything in her teary eyes. She has seen Amirah’s misery reflecting back in her tears. Ammi felt helpless to marry Amirah in a good family. Ammi couldn’t stop herself from getting emotional. She gathers herself and got busy in her work to get away from thoughts.
Amirah was heading on her way to the shop. She was wrestling with her thoughts while going. Coincidentally Waseem came across her way. He stopped his Activa and said, “Hey Amirah… listen….” Amirah stopped at where she was. Waseem went near to her. Before Waseem spoke, Amirah burst out in a moist voice, “Waseem you have to forget me…! I can’t be yours…”
“What? What are you talking, Amirah???” Waseem stabbed by her words. He stood up his Activa to talk with her, but she quickly moved her legs to the way to shop.
“Amirah? Listen please?” he spoke loud but she didn’t turn her back to look at him.
Amirah reached her dad's shop and gave tiffin to Abu with a fake smile on lips. While Abu was eating she didn’t utter a word. Akram was cleaning the floor. She looked at him. She felt pain while swallowing saliva under her throat. She wanted to choke up all her thoughts of thorn from the mind.
Akram brought a glass of water, “Paani (water)”, he offered her with a faint smile.
Amirah shook her head and smiled with pressed lips.
As Abu finished his lunch, she took the tiffin and walked out like she was running. She was disturbed and depressed by her thoughts. She didn’t want to live anymore in this ritualistic life. She wanted to end up her life so she could free from all these orthodox. She wanted to live like free spirit where no restriction and no slavery allowed.
As she was returning, Waseem was still waiting there. Amirah saw him from a distance. She came closer and said in a moist voice, “Waseem I can’t meet you now… I will explain everything in the evening. Come here at 7:30. I will be here.” Before Waseem could utter a word, she ran away like a wind. He couldn’t understand why she was behaving like this? What happened to her? All the “Wh” questions created a storm of confusion in his mind. Waseem couldn’t wait to meet her at 7:30.
Gradually sun was drowning under the line of the horizon. Darkness spread out all over the place. When Waseem confessed his love to Amirah, that moment she felt like all the dreams and hopes fell in her lap as a reality. And after that night, hearing Abu’s decision spread out the darkness all over her future. She didn’t want to ruin her life, ambitions, and career, and most precious was her love towards Waseem. She was in immense love with him. One decision and she’ll step into the completely different world. Where her life and dreams could be shattered or could be bloomed with a fragrance. Her fate was standing in two different ways.
I the evening:
Everybody finished their dinner. Amirah looked at the clock. 7:25. She took her hijab and wore it.
Ammi asked her, “Amirah… Are you going outside??”
“Yes Ammi, to Zoya’s place” she lied, but she was giving her fate one more chance to change it.
“Don’t stay there long beta…” Abu fixed her time limit.
“Yes Abu.” Amirah replied and quickly went out. As she stepped out four-five steps from the door, she clenched her fist and started to run. She wanted to speak out her all misery and affliction she had holding inside her heart. She wanted to release it from her heart and cry her heart out in front of him.
She reached at their decided place. But Waseem wasn’t there. Amirah’s eyes were dying to search him. Suddenly she heard a whispering voice from the distance, “Amirah hear… Amirah…”
She turned her face where the whispering voice was coming from. Waseem was hidden behind the tree and showing his hand gesture to come behind the tree.. Amirah ran towards him.
“What happened to you, Amirah? Why did you say that? How can I ever forget you? Do you have any idea how I spent hours when you left me without letting me speak? Tell me Amirah? Don’t you love me?” He spoke out in one breath. His ears were thirsty to hear her voice.
“I do love you, Waseem… and I’ll always will… but…, but,” Amirah was confused where to start, what to say.
“BUT What Amirah???” “But” this word felt like someone has pressed flaring coals over his chest.
Amirah took a deep breath and calmed down herself to tell him what’s going on in her home, “Abu has decided my marriage with…”
“What?? When?? With whom???” Amirah’s words shocked him. He almost skipped his heart beat.
“With Akram…! our shop guy.” She broke down into the tears.
Waseem felt her love was going out of his heart. He gathered his inner strength. She wiped her tears.
“Don’t cry Amirah… nobody will take you away from me… we will stay together forever… Insha Allah, Allah will help us…” Waseem gave her verbally sympathy.
“I don’t want to marry him… I love you. Do something, Waseem…!” she was crying and letting out her feelings.
She spoke out her inner affliction. Waseem held her hand and gathered his guts. With steady voice, he said, “Don’t cry Amirah… save that tears for rukhsati (viday)… tomorrow I will come to your house to take your hand… no matter whatever will happen, I will only marry you. I’m giving my words to you.” Waseem’s words were showing true love towards her. His words felt relaxed and gave hope in her heart. Her throat felt less pain to swallow saliva. She looked up. Both eyes were gazing into each others.
“InsahAllah, everything will turn out well to keep us together… don’t lose hope Amirah…” Waseem’s words gave her courage and hope. She felt a little nice inside her chest. Stinging emotions dissolve and calmness took over the control. Both stand there alone for few minutes.
“I should go now, Abu…must be waiting for me… Allah Hafiz” she said.
“Allah Hafiz” reluctantly he had to say.
Amirah ran away, Waseem stared at her running. He closed his eyes and prayed: Please Allah, bring our heart together. Bless us…
To be continued in Part – 4…