Smile

“I grew up in the temple where the priests told me that my parents died after I was born. I became a young mother around the age of 16 after being raped by an unknown person. I remember playing in the temple with no idea of what is the world when life changed for me.

From being a carefree teenager I began begging in the temple for myself and my daughter — we lived on the crumbs and clothes people gave us.

I continued living in the temple, when I was approached by a man — he used to come regularly to the temple. One day when he called me and said, ‘If you come with me I will take you to my sister’s place. There won’t be any tension of money then”. As a scared girl of 17 with a baby, I eagerly nodded my head and followed him blindly because I was desperate to get my daughter out of the situation we were in.

However after I reached Mathura, I realized that I wasn’t going to work as domestic help. The ‘sister’ he had mentioned was a brothel keeper and I had been sold for Rs. 2 lakh. I cried so much that I used to turn red. I refused to work in that trade for the first 5 months that I was in Mathura. I used to be beaten with sticks and slapped until I bled by the agent who bought me. He used to force me to go with a man who repelled me. The man used to drag me and force himself on me.

Soon this agent sold me to another man in Banaras for Rs. 80,000 as I was too difficult for him to manage. The person was little nice. Once I came to Banaras, life was pretty different. I started willingly going for the kind of work which I refused earlier because I had no other way to feed my daughter. I used to leave her with a lady nearby who I paid Rs. 4000 every month. By this time I was already infected with TB and HIV. I was a lost and wasted life when I was young itself.

Nine years in the brothels of Banaras, numerous fights with the brothel keeper, alcohol addiction, living in deplorable conditions and entertaining drunk men; I finally chose to leave the area.

I dream of living with my daughter together someday, who is now in a hostel. Hopefully I will get a good employment after finishing my training of a beautician. My life is about her now — I don’t know how long I’ll live, but I want to make sure she’s educated and able to support herself. My life has been miserable, but I draw strength and motivation from wanting to raise her well. The strength I’ve had these past few years have been solely because I’m a mother else I’d have given up long back. But I won’t give up — I’m not ready to let these men, who came night after night to break me. I’m a fighter. I won’t let them win.”