Reminisce

Winter is finally here. Remember how we used to love sleeping in on cold winter mornings? You used to draw me hearts on chilly glazed windows. The smell of freshly brewed coffee was the only thing that could get you out of bed. I loved staying up to watch late night romcoms together. It was surprising how you always had tissues at hand for me, though I used to joke about how your T-shirt would have done perfectly. I used to hate winters with all the piling up it demanded. They are the best memories I've left of us together ever since that fateful summer night.
Moving on is hard. Nobody ever said how hard. It's not easy to carry on breathing after having your life fall apart right in front of you. An act as simple and as involuntary as breathing in becomes a task.
Sleeping is all I ever do. That's when I don't have to put on clean clothes or brush my hair or put on a facade. That's when I don't have to act like I'm alive. That's the only time I can see you. That's all that I've done ever since. From that abominable night up till today.
Today I think I'm finally waking up. Today I realise that this is never how you'd have wanted me to live on.
Today, I decided to live again.
For the both of us.