A Suicide Note

This is an open letter to society in which I live, we all live. I need some answers and hope I'll get them from anyone in the society. Let me introduce myself. I am Indu - a 13 year old student of 8th standard. I was named Indu by mother which means moon in english. When I was born my aunts told her that her daughter is as beautiful as the moon.Now I'm a teenager - a grown up girl as my mother says. Or rather a ravishing damsel as I had overheard the boys of my street pass a comment on me the other day when I was returning from the temple with my mother. I peeped a stealthy look at myself in the mirror that day. I asked one of my friends why had they called me so? She told me that, I was slim and tall with a svelte body. I was fair with dark, abyssmal, doe like eyes and luscious lips. And that I was beautiful like one of those nymphs in the stories.

But I was one of those girls who didn't gave much importance to my external appearence. I wished to study hard an become an engineer when I grow up. I loved my school. I was my teachers pet as I was as good in academics as I was in extracurricular activities.I had a lot of friends there who were more like a family to me. Life was flowing smoothly and I was as happy as a teenager should be. Everyday I opened my eyes to a promising life full of dreams and aspirations. So I did, on that fatefull day too that has changed my life forever.

That day also began like all other days of my life. I got up, went through my ablutions, dressed myself up in my school uniform and left for school. But that day was not meant to be the same like any other day as I was not destined to reach school. There was a narrow desserted passage a few streets from my house. As I entered it, I saw a car parked by its side. That was quite unusual but as I was in a hurry to reach school at time, I stepped into the passage without giving a second thought. As I passed by the car, somebody pulled my arm and dragged me in. Once inside the car he held my hands tightly. The other man bound my legs tightly with his hands. And before I could react, the third man covered my nose and mouth with a cloth which was wet and had a strong odour as he said, "Go to sleep, baby."
The roar of their combined laughter was deafening. I was utterly terrified. I tried to scream and break free. But that strong smell was becoming unbearable by each passing second. I felt as if everything around me was fading out. My eyelids were drooping and I struggled to keep them open. My limbs became cold and I gave up my struggle. On seeing me becoming subdued, the man took the towel off my face. I was semi consciouss and slid upon the man who was holding my hands from behind. He put his arms around me to support me. The man who was holding my feet released them then raised my face and said, "she's a dish!"

I tried to open my eyes but the other man jumped over me and put the wet towel again on my face. I heard the engines of the car roar as I fainted.

When I came to senses, I found my uniform scattered on the floor as the three men had been undressing me while I was unconscious.They had spread me on the bed with nothing on me to sheild me from them. I screamed out of the horror of finding myself lying naked in front of three men. I drew my limbs to me and cuddled into a ball crying bitterly and begging them to let me go. But my tears couldn't melt them as they were determined to do that to me for which they had brought me here. One of the men pulled my legs straight, parted them and traversed up from my toes leaving a trail of his hungry kisses and drooling saliva on them. My legs stiffened and I shook them to ward him off but his grip was tight. The other grabbed my hands from behind and pinned them forcefully down on the bed.

"I wish to savour the necter enclosed in those alluring buds on her chest," the third man said as he opened his filthy mouth. My chest curved into a bow as he engulfed my nipples within it. Their savage act had brought me to the end of losing my sanity. I screamed at the top of my voice and struggled with those enormously strong hands that had overpowered me.

"It's time for her to sleep," the man holding my hands said as he placed the wet towel again on my face. I swayed my head sideways to escape from the obnoxious ordour but his grip tightened even more. Slowly I started losing my consciousness and my bowed chest fell flat on the bed. My limbs surrendered to them and the men had my passed out body at their leisure.

When I woke up again one of them was rocking me on the bed while others were having a drink drenched in sweat. I was also drenched in sweat and exhausted. They took turns to rape me and kept sedating me whenever I tried to scream. I kept rolling between consciousness and induced sleeps. I had no idea how many days had passed. Sometimes I woke up within the veils of two dirty hands caressing me while on others I find myself pressed upon one of those hairy chests. Yet on others, I woke up on a rocking bed with one among the trio pumping his lust into me.

One day when I woke up on a hospital bed and assured myself that my ordeal was over. But I was wrong, my ordeals were about to begin. I heard whisperings all around me.
"She was gang raped. Such girls should not be allowed into the society where respectable people live."
"She has no future. Her life is a waste. Do you think she would ever be married into a reputable household?"
Somebody even said that I had eloped with those men.
My teachers started ignoring me. My friends jittered me. Everybody started looking at me as if I were a prostitute whom anybody could bed with.
Now I wish it would have been better if those men had killed me after feasting over my body. The society would have applauded me as a martyr. But a girl who survives the rape will never be welcomed back into the society. Why? What was my fault if some men had forcefully kidnaped me and assaulted my body against my wish?