Mom Not To Be Burdened

Sohani left her job when her daughter was a year old leaving the world surprised. She wanted to capture every moment of her daughter's growing up.

She could afford to. Lucky to be able to do so.

In the same society, in another block, Prishita grew up rather independently, She managed her time with herself when she is in her room, being almost a loner in the group. She had shifted towns since her pre-college days to date, to shuffle between education and jobs. Coming from a single mother family, and two other siblings to be taken care of, she thought that was the only way to prevent mom from being over-worked and stressed.

Ms. Bipasa, happened to be Sohani's neighbor, and was frequently around Sohani during the decision-blues, that involved career choices and motherhood priorities. She had to leave Prishita to the care of her extended family because she had to work to keep the family going. She did not have any other choice. No mother these days has many choices in bringing up a child without being compromised in career choices and financial arrangements, she thought.

The family environment in charge of a lady is better than facilities with strangers. sense of obligation comes in the bargain. But it is nothing in comparison to the sacrifices the mom has to make being deprived of the private time she could have with her child. As the child gets growing, the dependable pillar of strength is not usually the working mom. Dependability is not an actor any more associated with the new mom professionally either. It is the strength of a dream of helping the child grow as a responsible citizen that can keep her going. After all, that is what matters.

Sohani thought that a career as a priority would distance her from her husband, and what price? She will lose the confidence of her daughter as well apart from incurring the ill-will of the mother in law who enjoys the 'Pro''s power being the most judicious person during a crisis. Sohani did not feel so though. But she preferred to enjoy her break because she could, rather than getting into too many complications which she would not resolve easily. A win of values would come with a heavy price in case of a lady.

Prishita could feel her mom's defeat another time. Defeated because another decision was taken which was so unlike anything her mom would have considered as correct. It was also because she was the only of her kind whoever takes the easy way out. The precious childhood memories of her own children were the cost she had to pay. She had to take a decision to stay away to bring the children to face the challenges very early in life. Those were moments of trepidation, which she conquered time and again.

Ms.Bipasa often wondered if that decision can be ever replicated, even by her own children, who are all daughters. Everybody in this life goes to a battle-field. While decisions can be personal with regard to responsibility and care, but family attachments can be in the heart rather than in physical proximity. The over-arching value is the ability to be independent that makes one brave.

Her daughters were with her when they attended the birthday of Sohani's daughter. Somebody asked Jigisha, her second daughter; whether her mother is at all thinking of the marriage of her elder sister, Prishita, any time soon. Ms. Bipasa overheard Jigisha's proud reply " that's didi's prerogative. She won't like mom to be bothered."

It was not a usual conversation. There was no further response from the person who was asking. It has yet become an accepted stance in society. Ms. Bipasa sighed. Maybe another generation has to pass by to come to terms with such a stance.