Harshitha Chokka

Tragedy


4.9  

Harshitha Chokka

Tragedy


Broken Engagement Vs Marriage

Broken Engagement Vs Marriage

3 mins 411 3 mins 411

Let me start it with a simple question…. What do you feel is easy to go with…. A broken engagement or a broken marriage? Let me tell you what exactly has happened to me in this case. It was just a normal day for me, except for the fact that a guy and his family were going to visit my place for so-called marriage looks. Unfortunately in a country like ours (India), to choose a guy for whole life is just a matter of 15 minutes.... something which is a taboo in Indian culture. It just happens in minutes...... seeing him for just once ... talking to an anonymous guy for minutes in privacy and then decide to marry him that very instance.... oh my gosh .... this is what exactly happened to me. But when I expressed my approval for him to be my man for the rest of my life, my guts were little off, but keeping all my age (I was 30 then) and my single mom constraints, I said ‘yes'.


As betrothal is to be arranged by brides’ family, we booked a venue, sent out invitations, and everything went quite well and I was damn happy too. And after that, we were formally allowed to be in touch on the phone...as everyone believed we were half partners... The first week was like a thousand butterflies in my stomach. He was so sensible, kind-hearted, intelligent, caring, and loving, romantic at times too(as I felt about). Slowly then after days passed by he started dominating me in all the respects (we live in a damn Male chauvinistic society of course). He would freak out and even voiced hesitations without any reason. No way he was sensible ... no way that he had any adjusting nature... no way that he really loved me for what I am ..... my heart literally used to shatter into million pieces whenever I spoke to him on phone.... he never used to consider my emotions or even cared if I cried for an hour-long..... I always felt lonely with him. I must be the person to call him or message him... he doesn’t even try to give me a call whenever we had any arguments or petty fights. I thought that my fiance would stop torturing me with time, but I learned that that was not going to happen. The relationship was always on rocks.


Then I clearly understood we were two different souls. There at that pulse of my life... I was not able to decide whether to move on with this person as I formally got engaged to him or to say a big ‘NO' to him, not caring about it. I was all worried about how my single mother would react to this and how we would be answering the society we live in. What should I be giving priority for .... is it for so-called engagement or my life.... then and there I strongly chose my life. I made sure that halting the wedding is the only option I had before me. It hurt like hell though, the hardest decision I had to make at that time. Definitely your family is the one that supports you at any cost .... my mom understood my pain and supported me in calling it off. The following year was quite difficult. I didn’t think, I could ever fall in love or bounce back from the loss. But eventually, I started feeling better... it was worth ending the engagement and taking a chance to a happier relationship. When you know you are not happy with someone, you cant settle thinking things may change. You need to grieve the loss, give yourself time, and patience... I have decided to stay away from the man who always makes me feel I am hard to love. Your broken engagement is just to tell you that they weren’t the right ones.....

Finally.....

Broken engagements are better than broken marriages. Be thankful.


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