DUHITA -The Daughter

Well..Where should I start from? In today's world, specially in India, even now people think that being born as a daughter is a crime. They tend to forget that girls also take birth from the same womb from which boys take birth. Then why are boys and girls differentiated so much?

Ruchi’s story is related to something that I mentioned above. A story of a girl who was brought up with love and care by her parents. A really pampered girl, and the apple of her parents' eyes, had grown up into a fine young girl ready for marriage. One never knows how time flies and when you outgrow your childhood and are ready to shoulder all the responsibilities of adulthood.

Life was like a fairy tale for her. But like any other fairy tale, how can her life be so smooth and simple without a twist and turn! Like every other girl, she had a dream of her ideal knight who would come with a shiny armor! Her parents fixed up her marriage. Soon, it was the time for Ruchi's engagement. All her happy moments flashed before her, but what she experienced afterwards was shocking.

On the day of her marriage, she felt how her life had changed within few minutes, where she was the son of her parents before taking the marriage pheras and became the daughter in law of her in laws family after the completion of pheras. Immediately after that, her father in law became so possessive towards his daughter in law that he wanted to take her his home immediately after the pheras completion. Her own parents had lost all the rights to keep her even for an hour. Everyone was getting surprised how come, such an educated and self dependent woman who was far from her parents for years can cry so much at the time of bidai, was it real or fake, was the only question in front of everyone’s eyes. She was not a sixteen years old girl, who would be missing her parents after the marriage, she had lived many years far from her parents. She could lead her life alone, but why was she crying so much in such a happy moment, like a girl of nineteenth century. But no-one, was able to understand how much pain, she was undergoing by losing her independence, by losing her freedom, by seeing her mother begging for two hours of time from her father in law to complete all the customs and after that she could send off her daughter. With this moment, Ruchi was feeling like “Is this the moment for which her own parents have brought her up? How could she tolerate by seeing her mother begging for time to her father in law? Was it a marriage or she had sold her daughter up to these people?” All these questions were just going on her mind, but she was helpless! Before completion of two hours again her father in law called up to Ruchi’s husband and told him to start as soon as possible even if the customs were not over.

Ruchi was experiencing a lot of emotions. At the time of sending off in the car, her eldest cousin brother told her “Ruchi, today onwards you became the daughter in law of some other family, you have to keep the respect of both the families, both as a daughter and as a daughter in law. Its not so easy. Sometimes you have to sacrifice many things as a daughter to maintain the dignity of yours in laws family, but you should not hurt your own family members too. You have to play the role of a DUHITA. You know what’s the meaning of it: it means you have to be beneficial for both the sides. And this can never be achieved without burning yourselves. You always have to maintain the dignity of both of families, even if sometimes you have to burn yourselves internally. You have to sacrifice your dignity and that moment only you can be a good daughter and a perfect daughter in law only. If you can prove yourself as a perfect daughter in law, then that will multi fold the respect of your parents only.” She had promised her brother to keep the respect of her family and sat in the car with unstoppable loads of tears in her eyes when leaving for husband's house from her parents' home. But this is the truth of life that every daughter has to face.

After arriving her husband’s house, in the evening her husband came to her and asked for 2000 rupees which the car driver had asked him for extra two hours spend in her mother’s house to complete the customs. She was dumbfounded, could not believe herself that was this the guy to whom she was married, while giving the money in his hand. Her mother in law and siblings in law started demanding various things but she couldn't tell about these demands to her parents. She felt shy to ask her parents to fulfill the demands and somehow managed to arrange it on her own. She then told her husband about these demands, but he simply showed no interest and told her that he would talk to his mother. Believing him, Ruchi started getting prepared to start her new life.

Right after 4 days of her marriage, a new demand was kept in front of her. She felt shy to ask her parents to fulfill the latest demand, and hence managed to arrange it on her own. Ruchi’s father in law kept on demanding more and more and one day he told that he didn’t have any relation with her parents. How come he didn’t have any relation with her parents and told her not to talk with her parents, but he was interested to retain the relation with Ruchi, his daughter in law. Because, he was not getting anything from her parents, which he had expected for, while Ruchi was fulfilling on those. As he was well aware that her Parents have much more capacity than Ruchi to fulfill their demand, they were expecting all those from them.

Her mother in law used to continuously find faults in her, but Ruchi continued to remain silent because she didn’t want to let her parents know the behavior of her husband to whom they love so much. She was beaten up, but still she kept silent. The poor girl trusted the person who promised her before marriage that he would take care of all her things and will make sure that it won’t be repeated.

She kept on telling him her pain, and in return he used to tell her, "You were getting older…I was the person who married you. So have to obey everything or else I will dump you", even though these words had surprised her, but she had to prove herself as a DUHITA! So, didn’t lost the hope and kept on fighting with herself and tried making everyone happy.

She was always thinking “How the days were so beautiful that she was getting unconditional love in her family, but here everything is available based on heavy weight conditions!”

As she was belonging to an educated family, she could not accept all the wrong things happening in her in laws family, where her younger siblings in laws were disrespecting her a lot. Once, even she had to beg pardon in front of her brother in law who was twelve years younger than her, only because she told that he should get a mobile phone worth twenty thousand rupees only when he would be able clear his tenth exam. This was a horrible day for her. She had lost her hunger and thirst.

Ruchi was a hardworking and talented girl because of which she was earning good and was in a good position as compared to her husband. Wherever she was going with her husband, everyone was giving her more importance than her husband, which her husband could not tolerate. He started insulting her in front of everyone, by saying “she was getting older and he had done mercy by getting married her, so she should not show her caliber in front of everyone, after all, Ruchi was under his feet’s shoe”. She was not able to understand what was happening in her life…Was she getting very emotional or was it his husband’s male ego which was suppressing her from having a peaceful breath!

And a day came when she was slapped by her husband just because she asked him to tell his mother not to insult her parents, not to ask her share from her parents, as they were two sisters and they had to do the last right of their parents and in return of which Ruchi should ask her parents the part of her share. How disgusting those peoples were, who can kill the lively people to get the property. Wow! A daughter in our country doesn't even have the right to protect her parents respect? But this was not the definition of DUHITA! A daughter in our country keeps on tolerating things just for the sake of her family's respect. But the in-laws? They can never understand the pain of a girl who leaves her house and her parents with whom she has lived from when she was born just to start a new life with her husband in a new family!!

What does the girl get in return? Pain! This is what Ruchi also got, but still she was living with her husband's family, just to protect her parents. She used to cry, but wouldn't tell her father. The love between a father and a daughter was so precious that she opted to sit quiet rather than give pain to her loving father!

How I wish every family and mother-in-law treat the daughter-in-law as their own daughter, and stop troubling her, and love her instead! Is it not possible, or is it too difficult? This is because the mother-in-law herself is the daughter of another family. She too has a daughter! Can she see her own daughter in such a painful moment? Does that husband do not cry for his sister who struggles in the same situations in her in laws family? Then why, his male ego carries high priority in front of his own wife? Is it because she belongs to another family or daughter of other parents or the sister of some other person or he wants to take revenge from the girl who has come from a different family, the way his mother’s mother in law had once done with her or the way his sister’s mother in law was doing with his sister? Has marriage happened to have a new happy blessed family or to put everyone’s anger and revenge on the new member of the family?