The Balcony

I don't have to explain what Friday nights are for people who desperately wait for the weekend to arrive. I feel sometimes the feeling of the first rain that too on a Friday evening is quite similar to the feeling of the Friday night being the weekend waiting ahead. My dad and younger brother left to my native place this morning. In the evening I cooked rice and just when i was thinking about the menu for the curry my door bell rang.My eyes couldn't believe what I saw post opening the door.

My neighbor Mrs NAIR was standing outside with a big bowl of sambar and coconut chutney.. My river of happiness overflowed with joy. Words will always fell short if i try to express my love towards south indian cusine. My love affair with sambhar rice is one of finest love stories alive. It was mid July and was raining quite a lot outside. I had my dinner in my balcony.

I Just love my balcony a lot. It's just connected to my hall. I often have my tea in the balcony. 14th floor open balcony, beautiful rain outside,hot steamy sambar rice and the delicious coconut chutney. What a perfect Friday recipe..

After dinner I didn't remember when I slept. When I woke up I was on my sofa. It was somewhat around 1:30 am. I went on the bed to have a proper sleep. 10 to 15 mins passed but I wasn't able to sleep. from left side of the bed to the right side, from covering my face with the pillow to putting my head under the pillow, tried everything but I successful failed consistently.

Finally I got up from the bed took a glass of orange juice and went again to the balcony... there was still a bit of rain with cool wind blowing. The yellowish orange street light on the wet coconut tree leaves and the silence of the midnight with the quiet highway was a view to remember.

I was enjoying this midnight view with a sip of orange juice, sip by sip and that moist wind blowing on my face.. absolute peach of a moment. This was as if the sleep God wanted me to witness the view hence didn't allow me to sleep. The last sip of the orange juice and my cell phone blinked with the message tone.

I checked it and saw Facebook messenger notification. I was really surprised to see the message. It was 2:10 am and she messaged me. She was vibha my college mate, in fact my first love and the last one too. Love as in one sided love. We have been in contact or rather in each other's contact lists for few years. Three reunions in six years were planned in between today and post college. Couple of them I purposefully missed giving some or the other reasons.

The first one I attended though. I still remember, she was late in that party I was just having a word with my other mates and she entered. I saw her and my heart started thumping. I don't know what happened but I wasn't feeling comfortable out their. I purposely decided to hide myself in a corner. I saw her one more time and left. Few other guys kept calling me but I didn't answered any of those calls. Some one from our batch later told she isn't in touch with anyone

Someone told she isn't in Mumbai. I also didn't see any of her updates on Facebook for a long time and after that all of sudden tonight.

Vibha: hi..

I was thinking what should I do whether I should reply or not.. for a moment I took the phone and switched it off..

Again that uneasiness that un comfort. Multiple thoughts were running in my mind. I decided to end this un comfort forever, once and forever. I switched on the phone and decided to face her.

Me: hi...

After 10 minutes she replied..

Vibha: hii how r u....

Me: fine what abut u..

Vibha: fine too.. where are you these days no contact from a long time.. after college u went missing. You forgot everyone from college group.

Me: nothing like that.. we can't live our whole life in college right. There is more life ahead.

Vibha: ok ok.. such a serious answer.. everything ok... U don't seem to be the one I know. He was pretty jolly happy go lucky..

Me: oh cummon those were old college days. Things change as time progresses.

Vibha: ok

For few minutes no messages from both sides..

I was hoping for the conversation to end..

I waited for few more minutes and then I decided to exit the messenger.

Just when I was making the exit, she messaged.

Sorry wifi network issue.. u there?

Me : yes..

Vibha: So tell me what's more.. did u get married.

Me: No not yet but will get very soon..

Vibha: ohh "very soon" ha.. matlab selection hogaya hai execution baaki hai..lolz

Me: Nothing like that. Mom and dad are busy looking a girl for me and the speed at which they are looking smells success.

Vibha: hahahaha (laughs) now that's the Old you.. vintage humor...

I still remember ur one liners...u know I even use to tell ur one liners to my sister.

We use to laugh at home. Sometimes Pappa also.

Good old days.

Me: Really, you use to think about me the whole day. College main toh we were in the same group so most of the time we use to spend time together and after that at home also.

Pyaar hogaya tha Kya mujhse...

(Were u in love with me) lolz

Vibha: oh cummon.. I was not thinking the whole day about you and also no love shuv ha.

Me: ok ok chill I was just kidding... Toh Shaadi kab kar rahi ho..(when are you getting married)

Vibha: Shaadi huye 1 saal hogaya.....

Me: what, tumne kabhi bataya nahi..

( You never told) Facebook pe bhi kuch update nahi. Does anyone from our batch knows about it.

Vibha: No nobody knows.. u r the first one.

I didn't tell anyone. Sab jaldi main hua. Lambi story hai if you meet me someday I will tell you.

I was feeling quite disappointed due to she being married. I was really disheartened. I was thinking to directly stop the conversation the very next moment and shouldn't talk to her henceforth. But this would have made her think quite a few unusual things which I didn't wanted. I continued the conversation with the same flow as if it doesn't matter to me whether she is married or unmarried.

Me: that's nice everybody has some or the other story..and how does the story matters if the end result is exactly what you wanted. (Marriage) .Belated congratulations.

Vibha: hmmm thanks....

you also get married quickly.its high time now.

I Don't know suddenly what happened to me when she said that. I was like quite angry. I straight away told her.

Me : what is quickly? I don't have any long story or plans like you due to which I can marry quickly. It will happen when it has to happen.

Vibha: yeah that's also true...

Me: hmmm. it's 3 am don't wanna sleep?

Vibha: had a good 3 hrs sleep in the afternoon so not yet..if you want you can sleep. Not an issue.

Me: no no.. I m not feeling that sleepy yet.

A few minutes more our conversation went on about old friends who is what and who is in touch. A few things about us too. U remember this u remember that stuff. While chatting with her in the back of my mind a thought was constantly knocking.

I was thinking that, Yes she is married and now nothing can happen but the fact is if nothing is going to happen why should I keep the pain with me. I should free myself and I will just confess to her. Yes I will do it. It's now or never.

ME: VIBHA, I wanna tell you something. I just want you to listen that's all.

Vibha: ok tell me.. go ahead...

Me: vibha we were always together we were so close in college. We shared almost everything.

In Second year i changed the group. I was with my cricket friends. Being into sports I had to join them. You later on got into a new group. Also due to sports I hardly had a chance then to come to college daily and eventually we got apart. In the last year, I really started missing you. I don't know but i always use to think of the days we spent together. A lot of times in between I came college only to see you. I was sure this was love.

I decided to tell you about this. I still remember that day I came with a small gift for you. I searched you but didn't found you. I asked sheetal about you and she told me you very rarely come to college and she also told in detail about you and abhay and all my dreams were shattered. I went back home with a broken heart.

Now:

Few drops of tears rolled down. I then washed my face with cold water had another glass of juice and went to the balcony. It was 5.30 AM

1 new message

Vibha: ok so that is the reason I didn't find you in any of the reunions. You were running away from me.

Look what sheetal told you about me and abhay was true. But there is one thing nobody knows.

Me: what is that vibha???

Vibha: I always thought you will not go anywhere.we will always be together. But you kept going far day by day and after sometime you rarely attended college.I was much depressed. I never use to feel like coming to college but sitting at home wasn't helping too.

In this period of time, abhay approached me. I straight away said no but later on he was trying too much. I saw myself in abhay. I wanted you desperately but wasnt able to get and the same was with Abhay. So i decided to let his feelings get a chance. I told him I will think about it and try to be with you. If I feel something may b it will b good for both of us.

A month passed but i never felt anything about abhay and that was bound to happen. I was with abhay but my thoughts, my mind my heart all belonged to you. Finally I told abhay the reality and we broke up.

ME: VIBHA you should have once spoken with me. Now what I will do tell me. I can't live with this fact that we both wanted each other but still didnt meet. Ohh vibha what have you done and If you are not married to abhay then whom you have married.

Vibha: I am all yours dear. I belong to you I didn't marry anyone. I just wanted to see how do you react knowing the fact that I am married and you will too agree to the fact that if I would have told you that I am still unmarried you wouldn't have opened up. It was a risk though but had to take it.

Me: swear to me vibha that this is true.

Vibha : yes dear...

Me: I can't believe this. I have never expected something like this happen.I thought I lost you completely and that's the end of the story. Ohh Vibha

I cant wait to see you. I want to meet you.

When can I meet you.

Vibha: very soon. Wanted to tell you something. Can I

Me : ohhh finally... yeah i am ready go ahead.

Vibha: should I say it...

Me: yes cummon faster..

Vibha: sure?

Me: yes baba cummon now no more delay.

Vibha: Ok then I wanted to say that.. you have a nice balcony..

Me : what!!! Ok thanks.. hold on how do you know about my balcony....

Vibha: look above from your balcony. 15th floor of your right side apartment. Our sliding windows are facing to your apartment. We moved there 2 days ago. Yesterday evening saw you in your balcony and couldn't believe my luck. I was directly going to meet you but then decided to message you first and see if you still remember me.

This was unreal for me.

I waved her from my balcony we both smiled at each other. We spoke the whole night. I can't forget this night forever. Later I invited vibha to my house. I made coffee for her and we both had it in my famous balcony with lots of chit chat, lots of memories and most important with lots of "LOVE"