The Mission That Went South

My headscarf fluttered in the hot wind as I turned towards the old man rattling off prices. Decorative mirrors lined the stall in front of me. It provided a complete view within 50 feet in all directions. 

“Ma’am! This one’s a treasure! It’s lined with lapis lazuli and amethyst stones. Very good for showing off to other ladies!” The merchant excitedly droned on about various mirrors in the rough, snappy tongue of this region of Eridea. 

I paid little heed as I focused on the reflections around me. A dark-skinned man wandered into the reflection in a pearl-inlaid mirror to my right. I surreptitiously glanced over my left shoulder. The man was wearing long robes similar to the traditional clothing of the hot desert and he seemed uncomfortable. The robes seemed expensive but the distinct lack of jewelry indicated he was not a wealthy resident. He was definitely an outsider trying to fit in. She smiled a little as she pictured him arguing about wearing a dress. The shopkeeper lightly nudged her. 

“Ma’am, perhaps this one?” The mirror in question was a compact smaller than my palm. The outer side was golden with detailed carvings while two circular mirrors were stuck to the insides. Miniscule onyx stones were pressed around the mirrors. It was truly beautiful, not too showy but very elegant. My peripheral vision caught the dark-skinned man pass right behind me. I put a few notes down, grabbed the mirror, and swept into the crowd. 

I carefully went over the plan I had formed after days of recon. My senses heightened from the adrenaline as I pulled my headscarf around the lower half of my face. I added a spring to my step as I practically skipped over to the dark-skinned man and tightly held his hand. 

“Sorry brother but the mirrors in that shop were just so pretty. Look at this mirror! Don’t worry, it isn’t very expensive. But such amazing stones and details...” I squealed out the nonsense in a high-pitched, innocent voice as I waved the mirror about like an excited child. My fingers deftly maneuvered a tiny needle through the center of the man’s palm. I then “remembered” to look at the man and promptly dropped his hand. It was far too difficult not to laugh at the cornered, incredulous expression on his face. “I’m so very sorry! I thought you were my brother! I will take my leave. Sorry again, sir.”

I hurried away to the edge of the market place and turned to the crowd as if I was scanning it for my imaginary brother. My eyes darted to the man repeatedly as he made his way out of the marketplace. I relaxed and dissolved back into the crowd, pretending to have noticed someone in case the man was still watching. I made my way to a jewelry stall. I selected a glass necklace that shimmered with every imaginable color. The lady behind the counter studied me closely and reached below her table to pull out a dainty gold bracelet. Small stars dotted the thin strands of intertwined gold. I shook my head. I don’t wear jewelry. The old woman locked eyes with me and rasped out, “It’s a gift. One such as yourself could use some light in your darkest moments.” My eyes widened and she continued, “It’s rude to refuse a gift. Accept it, child.” I was struck speechless. 

My hands moved to grab the bracelet but the lady shook her head again. She wrapped the bracelet around my outstretched wrist and tightened a clasp. The bracelet wasn’t going to come off easily. Her wrinkled lips stretched into a smile and mine unconsciously returned a grin. I bowed low as a show of respect and melted backwards into the crowd. My petite figure wove around gossiping women and screaming children as I hastened to leave the marketplace. Just as I skirted around a little boy, an icy feeling coursed through my veins and I stopped abruptly. I shook my head. The man was bound to be dead by now. But after a few slow steps, I paused again. I glanced behind me. My instincts were never wrong. The boy was almost out of sight but my eyes caught his ragged jacket, something shiny seemed to peek through the holes. The weather was hot enough to melt a glacier; no one was wearing more than one layer. Maybe it was the drowsy atmosphere that slackened my usually snappy thinking and allowed the next events to happen. 

***

I woke up promptly at 5 am. I got out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. I had to look presentable for Grace’s birthday. I went through my usual routine then slapped on a face mask. I ate and picked out an outfit. My mind focused on the next task. On the painting above my kitchen table. On the silky fabric of my dress. Anything trivial really. I peeled off the mask and winced as my hands brushed the side of my face. I quickly reached into a cabinet and poured a couple of pills into my palm. My nerves settled so I got ready and grabbed a bag. I glanced at the Sig lying on the table before tucking it into my purse as I strolled down to the nearest bus stop. I grabbed a seat and stared out of the window. I caught myself assessing every single person I could make out. PTSD was worse some days than others. It wasn’t too bad today but my mind was wandering down unwanted paths more than usual. 

I reached the country house just in time. After I knocked, I nervously tugged on a golden bracelet. The last time I saw Grace was in a hospital as nurses changed my bandages and I handed her a broken glass necklace. I could see every little emotion flitting through her little ten-year-old eyes as she took in my broken body. The tears spilling as she tried to hold it all in for my sake broke my heart. I had asked Mary to take her away as soon as possible. 

Today I stood here in the doorway of Mary’s house and took deep breaths, praying to any and all gods listening that Grace didn’t hate me. I heard rustling behind the door and it opened to reveal a blue-eyed, rose-cheeked girl wearing a flowery dress and a huge smile. Her eyes widened as they took me in. Her mouth curled with distaste and my stomach dropped. My hand flew up to cover the right side of my face and I looked down, willing my tears away.

“Oh my god, Andrea! I can’t believe you wore black! This is a flower-themed birthday!” A colorful bundle crashed into me and knocked me down into the grass. Slim arms wrapped around me and the blond hair flew into my eyes as Grace held me as close as possible. I felt a panic attack coming and I screamed as I was thrown back to the streets of Eridea. 

***

I spun around as I recognized what the shiny things were and why the little boy was wearing a jacket. I frantically looked for him. He was fifty yards from me. Just as I started to run towards him, he stopped and looked around. I yelled out and his eyes locked on mine as his tiny finger pressed a button. I felt thrown back and bodies collapsing on top of me, almost suffocating me. I couldn’t register any pain and none of my senses were working normally. My ears were ringing and dark splotches danced across my vision. I smelled rosemary and my tongue seemed too big in my mouth. My mind sluggishly tried to stay awake but I was only able to press a button of my own before darkness overtook me…

***

“Andrea please come back. Please, honey. It’s okay. You’re not in Eridea anymore. You’re home. With me and with Grace. Please, baby, wake up.” I was shaking. My eyes opened to take in Mary practically falling apart with sobs as she screamed my name. Neither of them had been there for any of my flashbacks. I had been told that I yelled and convulsed and cried as I relived my worst memory over and over again. But the only two people who I cared about were always fifty miles away among flowers and soft breezes. Safe from my horrors. 

But now both of them leaned over me crying as they watched darkness spill through the reopened cracks of my shattered mind. I tried to brace myself on my elbows and lift up but I slipped on the wet grass. I vaguely felt Mary pick me up and lay me on the sofa. I slowly started to make sense of my surroundings. Grace was perched on the edge of a stool ready to fly into action. Mary was wiping away her tears and handing me a glass of water. I looked at the ground, ashamed for ruining Grace’s birthday. I sipped the water and reached for the pills in my handbag. Grace jumped up and grabbed them. I downed two and then leaned back, ready to apologize for the next hour. But before I could get a sound out, Grace walked towards me with her hands up and sat down next to me. Her innocent eyes reflected how scared she was. She wrapped her arms around me again, slow and controlled. I froze. Mary joined us on my left side and pulled both of us close. Tears spilled down my cheeks as their warmth further calmed my frayed nerves. 

“I am so sorry for ruining your birthday Grace. You don’t hate me right?” My words were a tentative whisper. Grace lifted her head from the crook of my neck and vigorously shook her head.

“Why would I hate you?” With a jolt, I realized she was scared for me, not of me. 

I teared up again as I replied, “Because I showed up to your birthday party and lost it before I even got inside.”

“You don’t get it, do you Andrea? We’re sisters. We stick together. Through thick, thin, and screaming breakdowns.” Humor laced her voice and both Mary and I smiled softly. 

A knock sounded on the door and we jerked apart. Grace leaped up to answer the door and Mary dragged me to the kitchen. Handing me a glass of water, she pivoted to go greet the latest arrival. A short, squat girl walked in after my sisters. Her eyes were full of mischief and her eyeliner was smudged. She didn’t appear to wear it often; she had repeatedly forgotten it was on. She looked incredibly uncomfortable in the baby blue dress she was wearing. From the way she carried herself, she appeared to be the kind that would rather climb a tree or ride a horse than go to a fancy party. Meanwhile, Grace aspired to be in the fashion industry someday. I was about to draw more conclusions but then I realized that I was analyzing a twelve-year-old and also that I have been staring too long. 

Both the new girl and Grace bounded up to me. My sister introduced her as Remy, her best friend. I grinned at the new girl. 

“Grace hates frogs.” I winked at Remy as her face lit up and Grace’s turned red. 

“Well well, I didn’t know that. Come to think of it, I did see some frogs near the pond the other day. I could get y’all acquainted.” Remy and I dissolved into laughter as Grace turned green and half turned away from us. 

“You know. Her complexion looks a bit like a frog, don’t you think Remy?” I was thoroughly enjoying this. It had been a while since I had been privy to a carefree and secure friendship. 

Grace gasped and swirled towards her best friend. “You’re supposed to be on my side, Remy! How dare you?!” Both girls dashed away as Grace called Remy various names like pickled egg and black duck. I had no idea what any of them meant but I laughed nonetheless. 

Mary came and leaned on the counter next to me. I could see the wide smile on her face as she tipped her head to rest on my shoulder. She was happy that I was happy. We discussed Grace and life in general until the doorbell rang again. We winced as both girls loudly stomped downstairs. Remy jumped from the fifth step and Grace intentionally clicked her heels against the hardwood floor. Mary had told me that Grace had only invited Remy and another girl named Katie. 

A lean, tan girl walked in. She was really pretty but Grace was noticeably more magnetic. I smiled and extended my hand, “You must be Katie.”

“Oh my God! What’s wrong with your face?!” Her finger reached up to point at the right side of my face and disgust crossed her face. 

I ducked my head from shame and my fingers softly caressed the scars from the shrapnel. The next thing I heard was a fist hitting the skin, hard. Katie screamed and my eyes lifted to see Grace standing there with quickly-reddening knuckles. Her eyes blazed with fury and absolute hatred. I was about to step forward but Mary stopped me. 

“How dare you! She’s beautiful and brave and one of the strongest people I know! You’re not even worthy to look at her! You are jealous of me, not her! Maybe if you kept your mouth shut every once in a while, people would like you a lot more! You’re an absolute disgrace! Get out of my house and you better stay the hell away from me or I will ruin your life!” Grace’s words sliced at Katie like knives. You could almost see every single word rip apart Katie. She glanced towards Remy with tears in her eyes and Remy simply glared at her from Grace’s side. 

“I would leave, Katie. Grace just punched you but I will actually break something. Andrea is truly a nice person and she risked her life to save thousands of people. Her last mission may have gone south but she killed the leader of the cell and that counts for a lot more than knowing exactly what color eyeshadow works with the new necklace you got from Tiffany’s.” Remy spoke softly and calmly but her stance sent chills through me. She would actually hit the poor girl if she uttered another word. 

As warmth bloomed inside me from their words, I wove around Mary’s hand and lifted Katie off the ground. I slowly led her to the door. “Next time try to think of other’s feelings before speaking.”

I walked back into the kitchen and hugged both of the little girls close. I’m so glad they saw past all my scars, emotional and physical. Most of all I was delighted that Grace had been able to keep one of her best friends. 

Suddenly, Mary’s phone went off. She swiped it off the counter and raised an eyebrow at the screen before pressing it to her ear. She turned and extended it to me. 

“It’s for you. The number is blocked and I don’t know how they knew to call me. But whoever it is, sounds scary.” 

The girls looked up at me and I jerked my chin towards the stairs. They unquestioningly left and I tentatively reached for the phone. The voice that came through was one I never thought I would hear again. 

“Shadow. It’s been a while.”

“Handler?”