It’s been a while since we had a proper conversation, and I am sad that this is going to be the last one, maybe we aren’t as special as we always felt in one another’s company. I hope you remember the promises we made of being together till death tears us apart, I am grieved that it’s not death but our own egos’ that killed our relationship. The ego of oneself is a very dangerous thing, every time I tried to speak in a calmer tone to set things right, every time I failed because of my all-encompassing ego. You were no different in being, you are still similar to who I am, repelling away like the 'like poles'. We couldn’t adjust ourselves in the world we built and we ended up shattering every brick that we once carefully laid.
I still remember the first time I saw you, I saw you more as a friend than the lover you would once turn up to be. It was no love at first sight for me and neither was it for you, but it was love that blossomed through the long conversations we had, it was a while ago when we did have conversations, not anymore, not anymore. The first time when we exchanged our numbers, the first frantic calls, the teary eyed breakups of our former love lives, the career decisions, the always support attitude, I so miss all of this, but my ego would not let me go; so my body is willing to do me the favour. The doctors have favoured a new research module to test upon what is really plaguing me, but they have failed to understand that more than the cancer it’s the broken heart that is bleeding the havoc by making me restless and maligning the left over self.
This time when I am ready to keep my ego apart and fulfill the promise of being together forever, it’s the death that scares me, as our promise back then was belittled by this very death. If there was a place where all the dead souls depart to, I would choose to be the wind that could flow by you that you could feel but you could never see. I hope you never find this letter, I hope you never come for me, and I hope you moved on. But if you still manage to come and visit, don’t be disheartened because I would always be there around you like the protective wind that flows through you, though you could never see but you could always feel.