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Nirlajj Stuti

Drama

5.0  

Nirlajj Stuti

Drama

Settled Finally

Settled Finally

4 mins
4.6K


His mind keeps fluctuating and the struggle is to understand himself and the surrounding. What is my goal? What am I? are some of the questions running through his head. He craves to be somebody big. To reach his destination(which he is not yet aware of), he is required to control his impulses. Impulses which soothe him and keeps him distracted from his unidentified goal for short span of time. Now his long term cravings, which are based on idiotic parameters of fame, success & money, and short term impulses always seems to be at loggerheads.

In a need to differentiate himself and with a desire to create a wow factor for his peers, he keeps running from one point to another, and heat up his system with anxiousness and emptiness. In the end he comes back in the wings of impulses to cool his over heated system. As he comes out of the trans, he realises the time that he lost, and he drowns himself in guilt and shame.

Well, till now he has kept everything in balance and hope to do the same in future. It is he who creates parameters and it is he who creates competition. excelling brings happiness and the process of attaining it keeps him free from the struggle. But the problem is that he has understood the futility of continuous improvement and have become too lazy to drag himself into the shit of excellence. So the only option left is surrendering in front of the impulses. But, then this is also short term.

He decides to open up himself. Gets out of his nerdy shell to try his luck. Random messages on facebook yields one reply.

She is a doctor, he is an engineer. She was Interested, he was eager. There was so much to express, so much to feel but words always got stuck, courage had left him long ago. His analytical mind kept on stacking the list of nos until a point where not a single yes remained. New questions bamboozled him. what is enjoying each other all about, what does commitment to a girl means. He had not experienced any of this and had no clue whatsoever. Hormones trumped logic. He took all the advice that was there to be taken from revered playboys of the campus. He read all the material that was there to be read. He went after her with all guns blazing.

The best things never comes easy. It was a day of joy as she was in his arms. A stroll in the park with the warmth of her skin.

The world of fiction had lied to him about affairs. There was more to it then the laid back pleasure which looked so cool from far away. Only option was to run away from commitment and relationship. She kept pestering, he kept ignoring. She searched for reasons but got none. World of cinema had blinded her too. She believed it to be temporary and knew that he will come back soon. Well, she could wait for only so long. She opened herself to new connections. Soon a male worthy enough became slave to her smile.

He realises the loss. He goes for her but now it's her turn to ignore. He bows down but unfortunately is a bit too late. He sighs with a hope of adventure in future. But, he knows that he is stuck with no way visible. He is left to traverse in solitude.

Three years have gone by. All his mates have left him. Pain of loneliness becomes too much to bear. Search for partner once again takes front seat. His hair starts falling when he is still in the unfortunate phase of single virgin.

This deeply hurts his chance of mingling. His timidity restricts him from opening up once more. The same tradition he loathed comes as his saviour. He breaks his vow of eternal bachelorhood-ism, and surrender to arrange marriage. All the rationality accumulated over the years, goes with the wind and the cravings of pleasure takes front seat. The factor given the highest weight becomes beauty, and his fat salary package is enough to attract the desired femme fatale.


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