I woke up with a jolt, I felt kinda empty, like half of my weight had withdrew from me. There was a feeling of numbness; I blinked rapidly to make my vision clear. I t was just 2:00 in the morning. I stretched and got up; there was this feeling of hollowness in me, like all the blood had drained out of me.
I mentally registered the do to list: start taking the iron pills that I’d casually tossed into the pill box as soon as my dad handed it over to me. Now, it seemed important, the last thing I wanted was to become anemic.
“Damn, it’s just 2:00 am, who wants to brush?” Not that I would've immediately got out of bed even if it were 10:00 am. I liked slouching like a sloth bear. “Ms. Unruly” as my mom calls me. There was a dull headache lingering inside my skull, and all I wanted was some nice music.
Though mom and I are always at logger heads, dad has a soft corner for me. He’d gifted me this fabulous bass-speaker set. “Boom-Boom” My room would vibrate with music beats much to my amma’s annoyance.
Thinking of what track to play, I wanted to listen to Rihanna’s “Cry”. Suits well with the midnight’s silence. As I rose up to switch on the speakers. My hands went right through the plug point, into the solid brick wall and my good lord, headed to the hollowness of the next room!!
A deadly shiver ran down my spine & the next second I was covered with goose-pimples. All this made me jump of my skin literally!
Having no second thoughts, I screamed my heart out “paaaaaaaaaaaa”, tears of helplessness ran down my cheeks. I felt betrayed and darn! Shocked, frustrated, confused and scared.... A whirlwind of emotions swept over me making me dizzy. Seemed like the earth shifted underneath my feet.
I ran through the wall, as if it were a short-cut! I ran to my dad, even if death doth us apart, his embrace will make me come back to life. “Amma, Appa, look at me!!” I shouted. My shriek would’ve crossed the frequency of terahertz, which meant my parents would’ve been pounding on me now. But they lay peacefully in their slumber.
Wait a minute! Who was dead? They or me? That’s when I noticed the rhythmic movement of their chests & it struck me, I hadn’t breathed since I’d woken up because I wasn’t able to! The hollowness, it was because of that. I didn’t even sweat & yes! It was me who’s dead.
I buried my face into my palms & started weeping hard, it all felt so unfair! I hadn’t done anything of my wish in life & here I was, a hovering spirit! I hadn’t danced in front of a dead body on it’s way to the cemetery, I hadn’t shop-lifted, I hadn’t done any prank calls, I hadn’t got drunk, I hadn’t roamed the streets in the middle of the night, I hadn’t settled scores with my rival and most importantly I hadn’t even got into a relationship. All this made just 1% of my wish list.
Why, oh why did I die so soon? All I ever did was to study & study to top the class and then to get into an engineering college and then again study to have no arrears. Where was all the fun?! I cried till my eyes started aching. Not to my surprise, there was no heartbeat. Dead, that’s all, I was dead..I looked up the ceiling, wanting to surrender, wanting the earth to open up and swallow me, this pain was too much.
Exhaustion took over me & I closed my eyes, after a long while, something irritated my eyelids, I opened my eyes, the silver of light through the curtains penetrated through them…
Dampness over my body, it’s sweat. My sweat glands worked! I breathed taking in so much oxygen enough to dive deep into the ocean; I was able to exhale too! I tossed & turned over my bed, now, it was sponge and not mere vacuum. Yippee! I was alive. Alive, full of real life!!
I sat up & grinned widely. Whoa! Life & it’s possibilities, it’s just once! Everything felt so new and jubilant, urging me to make the best of life, a golden platter of my own choices!!
Glancing side wards, I saw my amma folding clothes, returning a glare when I gave her a smile, probably should be because of one of the zillion pranks I do to irritate her.
“Ma, I’m alive!” I said.
“Yeah, that’s sad.” She said.
Some things never change, like my mom’s slapstick sense of humour & my crazy dreams.