Crackling sound of the burning tip, is the only thing I can hear right now. I can see his bare chest expanding, as I inhale; and a deep-red flame, ashing down the cigarette bit by bit in front of his mouth. As I exhale slowly, the smoke puffing out is creating a blur, in between me and the guy in that mirror. The mirror is showing something new this time- the pillows scattered on the floor, a bed back of them - weathered as if a storm just passed by. The smoke in the air, in this dim lit room, with a damp rays of streetlight – trying hard to enter through the window drapes and the flame of the cigarette making its place in this dark night; are all indicating the drift of life I’ve experienced lately. And this guy – me – sitting on that messed up bed, half-naked, bearded, greyed out, chimneying the fumes, staring into the eyes of the guy in that mirror – is not the one who once used to be. Turning my head to my right, I see a body covered in my blankets, on this same bed.
Taking the smoke-bud out of my mouth, I place my hand on the covers and slide it down slowly to see that pretty face of another victim. The web of long hair on her head and her bare back uncover. Sleeping over her stomach, she giggle as my fingers crawl upon her spine. The skin, hmm, the skin’s too smooth, flawless and sweaty. I landed a kiss on her shoulder, and then one on the back of her neck. She clinched her fists with a slight moan and her whole body got flexed. A smile curve upon my lips as her face pop up in my mind, again. Not the one I’m laying here with, but the one I wanted to spend my life with. The one whose love was no less than a dream for me. The one who’s smile was the energy drink for me. The one who used to look at me as if I’m the only world for her. The one who set my heart on fire. The one who set my dreams on fire. The one whom I saw sticking her lips onto someone, a few years back. The one for whom I cried rivers for discarding me. The one, whom I still search for, in these victims of mine. The one, who’s still there somewhere in the back of my heart.
I sit back again on my bed with my bare body and lost heart and stare at those eyes in the mirror which were staring back at me.