Change Is Inevitable

Snigdha sighed as she was getting ready for her marriage with Vaibhav Shinde. She was not at all interested in marrying him especially after hearing his male chauvinistic views.

Her parents pressurized her to marry him. She was already nearing her thirties. She had rejected many guys as they had a very low opinion of women. She wanted her husband to treat her as a good friend and not as an unpaid slave.

Her parents, Sunanda and Rakesh Pednekar were exasperated at her frequent rejection of prospective grooms. One day they surprised her by fixing her marriage to Vaibhav Shinde, the younger son of a close family friend.

Snigdha yelled at them, "How could you do this to me? You haven't sought my approval. I am not going to marry an idiot just for the sake of satisfying society. I don't mind remaining single for the rest of my life."

Sunanda replied, "We are your parents. We have every right to decide whom you should marry. I never argued with your grandparents when they asked me to marry your father. We had given you a fair chance to select your groom. You have rejected every single proposal on flimsy grounds. Our society is a patriarchal one. It is impossible for a woman to remain unmarried. It is not safe for her to live alone. I don't want to hear your arguments. You have to marry this guy, or else you will find us dead."

Snigdha got married against her wish. Her parents in law and husband imposed too many restrictions on her. She was not allowed to go out to work. She had to ask permission even for going to the market. She was not allowed to talk to other men. The women in this house were supposed to have their food only after the men. She tolerated their discriminatory practice for some days. Finally, she lost her temper and decided to revolt against their male chauvinistic customs.

It was on Sunday that she began her protest. The men had finished their lunch. Their wives were supposed to eat food from the plates used by them.

Her Sister-in-law Padma asked her to join them for lunch after the men finished eating. Snigdha refused to have food. She picked her husband's dirty plate and cleaned it. She gulped down a glass of water. Her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law watched her in astonishment. Her mother-in-law Laxmidevi broke the silence by saying, "Have your food, my dear child. You should not insult Annapurna Devi by skipping lunch. You should not have cleaned your husband's plate before having your lunch."

Snigdha raised her voice for the first time. She said, "I don't like the idea of eating food from Vaibhav's plate. I am not a pig to lick someone's leftovers. I can't understand why we have to wait for the men to finish their food. Since we are supposed to be life partners, we should be sitting beside each other." "Stop it, young lady," bellowed her father-in-law, "How dare you question our customs and tradition? Men have always been superior to women. A man carries forward his family's legacy." Pardon me for interrupting, Papa," said Snigdha, "Can a man carry forward his family's legacy on his own? I have never heard of a man delivering a child. He needs a woman for this purpose." The ladies watched the proceedings with bated breath. Vaibhav and his brothers were impressed with her boldness. Her father-in-law said, "Don't forget that our Hindu culture states that women should revere their husbands as God."

Snigdha retorted, "Why should the husbands be revered as Gods? Have they descended directly from heaven? They need a mother to bring them into this world. I agree that a father is equally important to his children. However, a mother teaches her children the values of life and educates them. Please forgive me for offending your ego. Have you heard about Lord Shiva Vishnu and Brahma? They never treat their consorts Parvati Laxmi and Saraswati as their slaves or subordinates. Have you ever seen the picture of Lord Ardhanareeshwara? Lord Shiva and Shakti share the same body. You must have heard the names Uma Shanker or Gowri Shanker, Sitaram and Radhe Shyam. A husband and his wife are two sides of the same coin of life. One is incomplete without the other. Both should love and respect each other as neither of them is superior or inferior. An ideal husband and wife should be made for each other instead of mad at each other." Her father-in-law remained silent for some time. There was a pin drop silence for ten minutes. Her father-in-law clapped for her with a smile that appreciated her wisdom. Her mother-in-law too grinned at her after her husband conceded his defeat to Snigdha. He said, "Forgive me, Snigdha dear. I admit that I made a mistake in imposing an unwanted restriction on my wife and daughters-in-law. Henceforth, I withdraw all my orders and restrictions on women. Everyone in this house would be treated with equal respect, and enjoy freedom to pursue a career or hobby. The credit for this resolution goes to Snigdha for her outstanding courage to speak out her mind." The entire family appreciated her for her words of wisdom. Vaibhav beamed at his wife, and apologized to her for his earlier remarks. Snigdha's life took an upward turn. She carved a niche for herself in the traditional Maharashtrian Orthodox family.