Devoid

Riya was a girl of 19. She went to her friend's mother, who was a psychiatrist. Mrs. Malini asked her daughter why Riya wanted to meet her? Samaira told her that only Riya could answer that question.

"So Riya, could you please tell me the reason for you being here?"

"Yes, mam. Actually, I...I don't know how to start."

"Don't hesitate to my child. You are just like Samaira to me. You have to tell me everything. I mean everything that is disturbing you. Only then, I could help you. Don't worry. This gonna be a secret and you can trust me. I won't disclose it to anyone, not even to Samaira."

"I think I ......I am depressed."

"What ?"

"Yes. I think I'm depressed. I mean I'm not sure but I feel I am undergoing depression."

"Calm down. Just tell me how are you getting an instant of being depressed? I want to know."

"I don't know ma'am what happened to me. I used to be a cheerful girl until the age of 7 ."

"Then what happened Riya ?"

"My mother died and my father did a second marriage ."

"Did Samaira know ?"

"No, ma'am. Nobody knew. I really miss my mother. She was like a paradise to me. She could do anything for me, whatever I want, whenever I want. "

She was just broke down in tears when Mrs Malini calms her down and gave her a glass of water.

"Then tell me the whole scenario dear."

"Even I was fond of her. Slowly, slowly, everything changed. After the birth of my brother, she totally changed. She stopped taking care of me. Even I wanted to take care of him, but she didn't even let me touch him. And the love and care he got, just made me hate him and I was way too jealous of him.

I always wanted a sister. Whenever I talked to her about this, she slapped me as if I was insulting her. That was the time when I created some distance between us.

She even misused our secrets just to build a fight between me and my father.

You know what ma'am, my father went to another city in search of work and he stayed there. I was mentally harassed at home. I was like, I didn't want to go home. I just wanted to run away. 

I hate my father to leave me alone with her. I hate her for being my stepmother. I hate my brother for snatching love and care that belonged to me. I hate my mother for leaving me alone...."

She got a fit of anger. Mrs Malini gave her some tablets forcefully. After about 15 to 20 minutes normal again and she confessed a sorry for her behaviour. Mrs Malini forgives her and told her that it was not her fault at all. Instead of continuing the story, Mrs Malini asks her to cherish her childhood moments and then she started preparing some charts and figures.

Riya continued after sobbing for about 10 minutes.

"I hate my teens because those physical and mental changes make me embarrassed in front of everyone. Those periods, only I knew how I faced every bit of it ."

"But my dear teens are normal for everyone. I know everyone has a unique experience and in your case, it was not a that good one. But it was important and you know that periods are so valuable."

"But ma'am this was the thing that made me feel shameful ."

"Dear... it's not like that ."

"I want to continue the story because I am telling you all this by collecting a lot of courage. But I don't know when I'll be that courageous. Would I be ever again or not ."

"Ok. Tell me."

"I thought that at least my paternal and maternal families were there who love me but I was wrong again. My father was exploited by my paternal aunt and uncle. They just used him for earning money and treated him as a servant. But my father never even replied back because he thought he was the youngest brother and he should not do that as it will be not good for the relationship.

What kind of relationships are these where there is no respect, where there is no love, where there is no attachment, where there is just exploitation? How can someone survive in that relationship??"

"Riya... calm down. You just had a fit of anger. You need to take care of yourself."

"After my mother's death, even my maternal aunt and uncle, my maternal grandparents left me alone. Nobody cares about me. They all treated me as a bad Omen for them.

My mother died, then my father married another woman and she also thought me as a bad Omen for her child, even my paternal and maternal family don't want me, I don't want to survive in this world anymore."

"Riya. Listen to me. God gave us life because he wanted us to serve some purpose and I want you to fight with this."

"How can I fight with all of this? I am getting negative Vibes from everywhere, even from myself. I couldn't enjoy my life in my home, college anywhere. I am feeling suffocation from everywhere. I just wanted to run away."

"But Riya, is running the only solution? Don't you think you should struggle with this?"

"Ma'am even my friends and teachers started calling me a psycho. Sometimes I used to be happy as if I m living a stress-free life, in the next second I cried like hell. I had isolated myself from everyone. Just only I and my books are there in my world. Every morning, I felt lethargic and didn't want to do any work. I just want to move in the lap of permanent sleep. Every night, I prayed to God to take me away from this hell.

But, it seems as if God didn't want to listen to me. I m feeling like an orphan. Even orphans are living a better life than me. "

"What ??"

"Yes. Orphans are cared, respected, loved even if they were in an orphanage. After being adopted, they got parents who would take care of them. Am I an orphan or not?"

This time Mrs Malini had tears in her eyes.

"No my child. No."

"My parents left me alone. I don't have a home, which I can call as my home. I didn't have any respect. This depression gonna kill me. I m useless......... "

She was speaking when Samaira interrupted them. She saw both of them crying but she didn't ask questions. She pretends very normally.

Mrs Malini was leaving and asked Riya to come again.

"Dear, I strongly felt you need to take care of yourself. "Were her words while she was leaving.

Riya recollected herself again and left. After two or three counselling sessions, Riya felt better. She decided to relive her life. Mrs Malini taught her that it was all because of family instability and Riya understood this and recomposed herself. She didn't even know that she was suffering from depression from so many years. She decided to fight with this depression and she even succeeded. She found her inner peace after struggling for two years.

"This was the story of a girl with whom depression had played a game and snatched her beautiful childhood and adventurous teens. She couldn't recover it, but, she is adamant to change her future. This is the story that took place 7 years ago but changed her life for forever."

Everyone clapped for her. Even Mrs Malini was there to cheer her. Riya completed her seminar. She was addressing depressed children.

In the end, she just said.

"Even I was one of you, at some point in my life. I knew what was the reason for my depression, and I fought with it. I wanted to become Mrs. Malini for at least one person ."

Next day, it was a newspaper clipping titled

' Devoid '- A seminar by motivational speaker Ms. Riya.