When I Was A Kid

“What the hell was that shit?” I asked myself. I was doing mathematics. The worst subject ever. And just stumbled upon a sum I couldn’t do. Got fed up, and cursed. Stupid college. I know addition, I know subtraction, I know multiplication and division. And that’s gonna be enough for civil engineering. Why the heck I need to do this calculus shit? Anyways. I got tired and fumbled upon my bed. Exhausted. Mathematics for 20 minutes straight. Boy, it was really a big deal for me. I got over the edge of the bed and saw something which startled me. Between the bed and the wall, there was a slight bit of space, and in that space, I could see something which looked like a human doll. Curious, I put my hand there to reach it, it was really hard, but I finally got hold of it. I took it out and saw. It was an action figure of Spider-Man. I cleaned it with a cloth and looked at it closely, wondering how this ended up here. Then I suddenly remembered, this used to be my favorite action figure in my childhood. I used to play with it till it was 9th standard, and couldn’t find it since then. But, finally found it four years later! And I just remembered the first time I met this particular Mr. Spidey.

Kolkata, the city of joy. Joy is the perfect publicity stunt to describe this crap city. Of course, when I was a kid, I was taught the publicity stunt. But Kolkata is a city of cursing Bengali maniacs, city full of diabetes and obese people with their belly’s hanging out of their half-sleeve shirts. And the lungis looking like they didn’t have anything to wear at the bottom except some weird shit looking tablecloth. Kolkata. The city of slums. The city of Pollution. The city of rapes. The city of crimes. The city of literature. The city of people. Many people. Too many people. Just too many multiplied by too many people. Sorry, I got off the tracks. I was gonna tell about Mr. Spidey but it’s just some places are hard to not insult at least once. So, I live in Ahmedabad currently, but, unfortunately, I was born in Kolkata. St. Mary’s Hospital. 1st Nov-1996. At 11:30 P.M. Ma named me Kalp. Dad accepted the name (of course he did, can you argue with a wife? Nope.) Paperwork was done. All relatives looking at me as if my parents had just given birth to a pot of gold. Then suddenly my Nani comes and says, “He’s Trambak.”

“But we already named him,” Said Ma.

“Doesn’t matter what you named him. He’s Trambak. Officially.”

And tada! That’s the origin of my weird name. Trambak. Means three eyes. Another name of Lord Shiva. Lol. I think Mr. Shiva thought my name was still Kalp because if he really thought I was Trambak, the shit would’ve been better in my life. Anyways. So I was born with this tattoo. Yes. No. No, no. Not what you think. No one tattooed me just the moment I was born. I was born with it. In technical terms, you can say, I was pre-installed with this tattoo. It was a swastika. It’s a weird symbol. The symbol looks like an Egyptian man without a head, dancing, keeping his hands signifying a snake, in the opposite directions. Hindus adore it. And me, being in a Brahmin family, the whole family was going nuts that this kid was born with a swastika on his right thigh. Yes, you all paint a swastika. I was born with it (Hell yeah!!). That symbol doesn’t look like a swastika now. Thanks to the expansion of my body fat, the once-looking-swastika now looks like a small, brown potato. Damn. I got off-topic again, right? Sorry! So, coming back to “How I met my Spidey”..

One thing I really liked about Kolkata though, was the celebrations. They celebrated everything. Durga Pujas and Diwali is always there, but, the people there I mean, they LITERALLY celebrate everything. You got your first salary? Celebration!
You got 100 marks? Celebration!
You passed for the first time? Celebration!
You lost your virginity? Celebration!
You bunked your first class? Celebration! And so on.

I was five years old that time. Living in Ahmedabad, we used to go to Kolkata, as it was my ma’s and dad’s hometown, during Diwali and summer vacation. It was Diwali time. Noise everywhere. People on the streets burning fire crackers and the traffic going to a havoc. I was with my dad. And we were walking down the streets. We were going towards a fair, which Indians call, 'mela'.

Having finally reached it, dad took me straight to the toys corner. No, I hated rides in any fair. I just didn’t like it. Going to the various toy corners, one thing was always fixed for me anytime I went to a fair. Pokemon trading cards. Always. At least one set, dad had to buy. And he did. He got me a Pokemon Orange league trump card game with Pikachu on the cover. The next thing was buying a mask. I went for a batman one. Having all the superheroes mask collection completed. And that was the shopping. Even if I wanted something more, dad would refuse. “2 things only” was the condition. When we ate some samosas and egg rolls, we were returning back when I got my eyes upon something. A spider-man action figure. There were thousands of ‘em, but this spidey was unique. He had a white spider symbol on his chest rather than a black one, which caught my eye. I pleaded dad to buy it, but dad refused saying I already had many Spideys back home. But then I asked, “Dad, don’t you want your son to be successful?” 

“Of course I do. Which dad wouldn’t want that?” He said.

“Then dad, I promise. One day I will be spider-man and I will save many people. And I will make you proud. I and this little spidey will be friends and will save the world in the future,” I said. I had no idea that time what happened to dad, but his eyes were moist and said, “You’re going to be the best spider-man ever, son. Let’s take that white Mr. Spidey home,” He replied. And I took Mr. spidey with me and kept him with me forever. Forever, until I lost him, of course.

Such great times. When I was small, I used to say different things when anybody asked what I wanted to be. Engineer. Doctor. Spiderman. Army jawan. And people used to encourage me whenever I said it. And now, when I’m 18, if someone asks me the same question and I say I wanna be spider-man, the guy wil reply, “bc, chhatak gai hai? Doctor k engineer? Time pass mat kar aur padhne lag,” Will be the reply. I mean. How fast things change.

I can’t believe 2004 was a decade ago. It just feels like it was last year. When you are a kid, nobody can harm you, your family loves you, you have a million friends, you can kiss a girl without any hesitation, you can break a window but still no one scolds you, you don’t need to cram 300 page textbooks, you can watch cartoons full day without anybody laughing at you, you can sleep when you want, eat what you like, without worrying about diabetes and many, many more things. Being a grown up is fucking bullshit. You get to know the REAL world. The world we used to see when we were kids was fake. But sometimes, fake is great. I lost my trust in God. I mean, if he was really there, then he would’ve helped me, but instead he laughed and watched my fucking life burn. I lost many friends as I grew up, because I could now differentiate between who all are real and who are fake. I don’t eat chocolates and sweets in the fear of diabetes. Back then, I could eat whatever the fuck I wanted. The family which used to love me so much don’t understand me even a bit. The shoulders are getting heavier. There are fights with people on twitter, facebook. I can’t watch cartoons in front of elders because otherwise I'd be called “immature”. The sleep which I loved has filed a divorce from me as I forgot what it is to take a nap. Studies aren’t learning anymore, studies are remembering shit.

You all know what I’m talking about, right? We all miss those old days. But, unfortunately, those days are never going to come back. Memories are what we have. Memories that, at least I, can never ever forget. Back then, we could get help from anyone. Now, only dear ones, who understand, help us. That is life. Some people enjoy going to parties with their father’s money and business as their support. They don’t know what life is. They don’t know struggle. #YOLO #SWAG people are the ones I stay away. They are the last people I would take advice from. I’m not saying that I have seen the real world, I still have a long way to go. I’m just saying that I and some of my friends have gone through shit which is unimaginable. Of course, everyone has their own problems and it's unfair to compare. It’s just that I wanted to give you guys a reminder that what we were then, and what we are now. But remember, that little kid once you were, still exists within you. It is there, but you can’t feel it. But I know and I believe, that when the right time comes, the little kid will be back again!

I was sleepy. So I took Mr. Spidey in my hand and slept in the bed. I had a sudden dream. I was battling Green Goblin and saving the world. “One day, I will save and change the world,” I said. “I know you will, son. I know,” Said Mr. Spidey, to me.