Silence

There was silence in his eyes in spite of all the chaos near him. He looked as if he knew what was to unfold for him and therefore was shielded from emotions, nothing use to scare him neither enchant him like a deep ocean in noontide, still and intimidating. Ocean takes everything with pace and behaves similarly in every climate not changing in harsh or smooth weather. He didn’t look disappointed from his situation rather he stood strong and unaffected with everything like a brave warrior in war. He stared his problems with such a blazing intensity that it burnt into ashes but he didn’t dance in happiness with his success, he just smiled without his eyes. It was like witnessing a strong barrier between his mind and heart.It seemed he believed that difficulties are indeterminable and will never end permanently so, he learnt art to dissolve it for him and others. There was stiffness in his form which made him look strong and hard like mountain. His face was difficult to surpass, which had no emotions on it to play.

His placid demeanor was intriguing to appreciate whereas something in his eyes pulled me in his waves, which somehow made me to crave for his profoundness. My head started spinning in amazement to be in the presence of a man who was stoic despite living in earthly concerns. I doubted his sanity and imagined that maybe he is like a sky peaceful and serene in seeing but deep inside, in its layers there are numerous of turmoils taking over. The idea itself fascinated my brain and heart, whenever I took a trail of his face. I did not understand the restlessness of my heart every time I saw him, it seemed as if he was some magnet which my heart couldn’t resist and my eyes naturally swept towards him. Whether it was some minor curiosity of nature or something beyond that, but my brain leaned towards his demeanor to study him.

He glimpsed me with his side eyes and corner of his mouth curved but there was no sign of smile in his eyes which resulted in a pang in my heart. I did not understand a sudden discomfort in my feelings but his inscrutable mask sparked fury in me and therefore when I spoke I looked straight in his eyes by grasping him firmly with my gaze. I looked into him while my mouth uttered unusuals of life but he responded with steady pace and impassive face. I didn’t stop and traveled into him peeking into every veil which he held securely and then there was a second when his grip became loose and I saw something which made my heart ache.

I was numbed and I gaped at him without any word to share but he became aware and his grip became stronger than before. He looked at me with anger as if I betrayed him he bid me farewell with a callous smile but this time my heart felt an elation mixed with another strange emotion of longingness. I stood there watching his stiff form leave and relived the moment when I snooped in his shroud. My heart pounded with emotions every time I remembered that battered soul which I glimpsed in his shroud. I stood stupefied there wondering about him and imagining the rest which was hidden behind his strong form. I was surprised by my enduring interest in him but I didn’t stop myself rather I stepped forward more boldly to discover him. I fancied my interest as curiosity which was taking me to find him, I believed in understanding the bearings which make people change their glasses towards the world.

Next time he was more prepared than I thought which made me smile and I was self praising for triggering a little fear in that tough frame. I gave him an amused glance which he decoded immediately and got exasperated. Our silent battle was bringing emotions out of him which he was unaware of. Taking advantage of this I toured him, I invented many scars on his soul which made him look like an immortal warrior. He achieved this sanity by fighting indeterminable demons of others and of his own.

Something inside him was so strong and dependable that it made me to long for his affection despite of my independent nature. My heart ached for every time this young man was dejected by life and was subjected to pain which made him build a wall between his brain and heart. There was a security in his presence, who didn’t become afraid of problems, one who was always ready to come out of it unaffected. Whenever we talked he use to talk by keeping his eyes masked despite of knowing that I have visited his every veil in spite of his reluctance. It always blew my heart, I was craving for a single emotion in his eyes which left me in agony as he was more indifferent than before.

My heart was wrenching itself in a mysterious way which was difficult for me to figure out, all

I understood was that I was not able to resist him and pinned for him. It seemed that his eyes drew me inside them giving me all the giddy feeling with those waves but didn’t take me to the shore. It became painful for me to take his plain look. I desired to bring out all his emotions and wanted to break barrier between his mind and heart. I wanted to touch all his wounds and see him flinching, to become his secret closet where he can hide himself like a proper young man without any glimpse of that indifferent crude. I wanted him to remove all his mask and smile at me with heart in his eyes and love in his form. I fancied to be his full moon which would bring tide in his ocean and my mere presence would bring chaos in his heart. I would secure his soul by keeping its key in me without sharing it with anyone else. He will be my counterpart where he will protect me from break down and I would be smile of his eyes.

I was nonplussed with my needs and with great hesitation I admitted it that every time he looked at me my stomach flipped and I became aware of myself. Every time he looked at me I wanted to touch him and feel all his pieces which joined to make him but all I got was his callous attitude. Whenever I talked him, he replied in rote fashion without investing his any emotion. I was hurt and sadness surrounded my heart so, I left from there as it became impossible to bear his hard eyes, as soon as I took some step away from him I heard a deep voice calling my name which raced my heart beat, slowly I turned to see him.

When I saw him there was a change in his face which I didn’t recognize, his eyes were worried and face was softened which seemed like concern. I thought it as my delusion and therefore I replied without looking to him because it became difficult for me to not travel in those eyes which ultimately left me in bereft. I took my leave after a short reply but I was sensing his eyes on my back which didn’t seem to last. It was like his eyes were following me everywhere, I was not seeing him but my skin seem to inform me about his continues gaze. I rebuked myself for fascinating such things as he was always ready with his impassive face whenever I saw him hence, it was quite impossible that he would be watching me but my heart kept racing wildly. So, instinctively I turned back to assure my stupe heart but when I turned I almost lost my senses when I saw him staring at me with preserve gaze and hands clutched at his back.

I reflexively turned my head away from him and caught my breath which didn’t calm me so, immediately I trotted from the place to hide myself somewhere in order to decide for ongoing. When I reached my den I composed my every piece to be back on the brazen track. I remembered his dark and deep eyes combined with his strong and dependable form which made my legs wobble and mind unpredictable. Until now I was sure about cryptic language of my heart it was revealing some unfound emotions in me.

The man whom I was invading was actually like a storm who took me away with him covering me in whole and now I would not like him to pass. I too wanted him to invade me but the moment I remembered his indifferent eyes my heart pained. Now, I was puzzled about his stare which he was giving me and I doubted that maybe he saw my blossoming love for him which scared me because I didn’t want him to understand me his besotted admirer . Therefore, when I met him next I also shielded my eyes and talked parrot like which had startling effect on him, he looked at me with uneasy eyes and his demeanor was suddenly taken up.

I noticed it with amazement but kept my state masked. I quickly finished our small talk and when I took step away from him he came in front to keep me from walking away. I was surprised by his take and I was fully prepared to give him what-so-important look but when I looked at him he grasped me with strong gaze looking straight into my eyes. I lost all my word and my mind went blank to summit any word, his eyes beseeched me to stop and I stood there transfixed. He didn’t say anything for a long moment and I was again lost in his waves but this time I saw a glimpse of shore and my heart longed to reach there and meet him. It was a strange moment because it occurred to me that he was inviting me to his shore but I chided myself for this strange fascination. I reprimanded myself for considering such a huge thing when he was doing nothing instead of staring me. I abruptly came out of his spell and asked him to state himself. He didn’t say anything just stood there looking at me but at this moment, everything was changed about his silent eyes.

I witnessed electrifying transformation in his face and there were numerous emotions flooding in his eyes which took me by storm. I looked at him mesmerized witnessing his every emotion but not decoding any. I always dreamed him to unveil his emotions in my presence but now, when he was doing it I was dumbstruck with the intensity he was looking me. I felt a strange sensation as if he was looking in my heart knowing my every thought and invading my every bit. He was tracing my emotions and this intimacy between us left me breathless.

I was scared about the conclusions my heart was drawing from these silences so, I evaded from there quickly avoiding him and his treacherous eyes and got myself busy. My heart was in topsy turvy state I barely composed myself when I heard his baritone voice on my back and my heart pounded in reaction. I bit myself and didn’t turn back to avoid all commotions of my emotions, I answered in crisped manner keeping myself out from his trance. There was an exasperation in his voice at my crisp answers but I dodged it and tried to walk away.

When I was about to leave from there he clasped my wrist and pulled me towards him. His movement was so quick and sudden that I just gaped at him in reaction, his hands were strong and firm signalling in no mood to let me free. My skin went warm against his touch making my cheeks flush I admonished my body for this response but in vain because the way he was looking at me by clasping my hands was washing off my mind. I was infuriated by this entanglement of his behaviors and annoyed by my needs so, I gave him a hard look asking him what did he want. For a second he didn’t reply then I rolled my eyes in resentment and tried to wriggle my hand out of his grasp. He tightened his grip and pulled me closer bringing his face down to mine, and whispered “Don’t you know what I want?” I looked at him in shock unsure at the real intensity which i felt for his question. His eyes were so piercing as if urging me to sense him but I was drained from silences between us, I was afraid to decipher his emotions without surety. His eyes were showing me zillion emotions which I dreamt to witness but it left me entangled in my own emotions.

I tried not to lose myself in him and replied calmly without looking at him “No I don’t, and how would I even understand?” My heart clenched at my words but I continued soberly “Do you want me to say anything in particular?” His eyes creased at the end with my reply and then instantly he brought another hand to my chin jutting it upwards and forcing me to look in his eyes, his touch was sensitive and firm which burned my skin hence to ease myself I gulped dryness in my mouth and looked at him. His eyes held me with such an intense and piercing gaze that it became impossible for me to avoid it and I overlooked my brain which constantly screamed for my senses.

He spoke with continues and urgent pace “No nothing in particular but something particular only to you, I was saying numerous things nothing in particular for you to understand but you listened everything particularly, You heard me when I was not even talking about it and now you are saying me you didn’t understand, what should I believe? Did you imagine that I didn’t notice how you searched a questionable character behind my tough shell. You thought I didn’t see your eyes travelling in me and listening unsaid words of mine I responded you first thinking you are a naive girl with little of thoughts in your head but when I looked in your eyes I saw a wise lady who was scrutinizing me with my every word.

I was irked by this trespass and unknowingly a fear sparked in me, fear of a pair of eyes which would see my deeper side which was stored in my nerves so, I turned away but when I met you next you saw me with such a tenderness that it even melted my shell, unaware of my senses I allowed you to travel in my place. I tried to hold myself but your eyes caressed my wounds it made me feel my soul and scars which were left after braving out calamities of my life. You saw me with the pride in your eyes and the way your heart ached every time you glimpsed my pain made me feel wanted and treasured.

People use to talk about a man who was strong like the ocean but no one saw that ocean too have turmoils in them and how they are made of various layers each layers deeper than before . They sit on the shore enjoying their upper beauty which is calm and make them secure without daring to think their deepness, Whereas you came to my shore taking my beauty but craving to know my inner layers which combined to make these waves. I was comfortable in my shell but you came like a moon which soothed my soul and I was forced to bring tide of my emotions.

I talked with you without speaking to you, you listened me with smile in your eyes and I started confining myself in you. I loved the way you held me without touching me it was like a warm sensation around me tugging me close and keeping me vital. The mischief in your eyes when you saw fear in my eyes made my heart giddy, I was carefree in your presence which made me skittish towards life. You were like a hearty laugh of my soul which filled its every broken pieces back in place, you didn’t ask me but you knew that how the young man in me learnt to be alone in catastrophe and stand straight without letting your legs buckle. I never knew how tired I was until I met you, your proximity made my heart weary and finally I wanted to kneel down and rest in your arms.

Do you have any idea how badly I was intoxicated by your affectations, I wanted to pull you close and embrace you forever and use you as my palliative." “And one day you just turned away from me when I was passionate for you. Your eyes became hard which killed me right there leaving me bereft I followed you to bring you back and lock you in me but now you are saying that you didn’t understand? You didn’t see me when I was pinning for you? You left when my heart held its door ajar for you to enter but you didn’t take time to notice and turned your back on me. May I know at least that everything was my imagination or were we really tranced by each other?”

When he was speaking his voice was slow and husky which lulled my intelligence I was listening him with my every ounce focusing on every curve of his face feeling every emotion flowing in his eyes. When he completed his grip was tightened on my arms his eyes were brimming with emotions and I was stunned by his confrontation. It was the watershed moment of my life and I felt like I was walking on the air, I was barely able to hold myself my knees were wobbling and tears came from my eyes. I didn’t realize my tears until he stroked my cheeks with his strong hands, when he touched me with such concerned manner I broke down completely with emotions.

I was smiling with tears in my eyes unable to utter any word and when I spoke it was like a tons of emotions entangled in each other so, I stopped myself and just spoke what my heart was unable to believe. “I thought I was imagining ever thing and you didn’t even notice me. I thought I am stupid to imagine romance between us because you didn’t even speak me without your idiot mask. I was afraid to decipher any emotion on my own, I didn’t want to read your eyes because if it was my fancy than it would break my heart. “I was continuing my sentence looking at his collar rather than his eyes so, I continued without any shy “I was tired of sharing eye locks and our unsaid stories so, I stopped myself and turned away to avoid my heart break.” After saying my last sentence I fiddled with my fingers without looking at him than again he pulled my chin upwards and forced me to look at him.

When I saw him I was shocked because he was smiling at me with an amused expression. I gave him an irritated look which broadened his smile and he moved his hand from my arm to my waist and pulled me more closer towards him and kept his chin at my head closing me in his embrace. My heart skipped a beat at his gesture and my skin tingled at the new sensations in my heart, his cologne filled my breath relaxing every nerve of my body. I mellowed in his embrace amazed by the way his single touch calmed my every perturbation, his breath was hot on my hairs caressing my hairs.

After few seconds of our proximity he spoke me holding me in same manner but bringing his face down to mine and looked as if admonishing me but his voice was soft and intense “You were persistent to view me when I veiled myself efficiently but when I was transparent in my feelings you declined to understand. I was afraid that you left because you refused to accept my demons, I thought I lost you but I knew you better than that and my heart said that I saw you from my soul and you cannot leave.

This desperation in me brought me here and I was determined to see your heart out.” He took a break of few seconds as if collecting his words and I noticed his eyes became dead serious combined with his baritone voice when he took off his next sentence “I just want you to know that I love you. You fit in every empty space of my heart making it complete like it has never been. You are smile of my eyes, my chaos and my peace.

Today when I see all through which I have gone I understand that it was because I had to meet you one day and I would get my world when I would see this admiration in your eyes. My whole pain would calm down when you would see my every side and understand it no matter how much I hide it. Today I can rejoice in real happiness which can never be snatched from me.” I was startled by his confession and my heart felt light and dizzy I was on cloud nine as he completed his sentence he brought his face close to mine and stopped at an inch looking at my face, his breath was hot which was like a temptation for me.

I didn’t understand this new emotions but it felt as if I was designed for him to see, I lost myself in him and out of impulse I whispered to him “I was waiting for you for ages and now I think…” I barely completed when he kissed me instantly locking my lips. I was lost in this new emotion he was arising something in me which made me to travel in another zone I didn’t feel anything another than him. His lips were fierce and soft swirling over my mouth and it swept away all my thoughts making me alive forever. When he looked me, his eyes were dazed slowly he started stroking my face and suddenly his expressions were entertained and he rested his nose over mine and spoke in a rustling voice “you think what..?” I smiled at his question and I tried to reply him boldly but I failed and I blushed while speaking “I think… I mean I know that I love you too and more than you love me” He laughed and kissed me again in a second evoking fire in me and spoke in between “if you think so then you are stupid mam” and continued with his job which was like a peaceful and adventurous dream for me.

When he was near me I felt like I was a paramount among the crowd, I felt like I could conquer the world. I was a simply a music before and he came to me as my lyrics giving me the meaning in whole. His arms were my home and his eyes were my mirror which confided my true identity. When he kissed me it felt like for ages I have been waiting for this man to kiss me and make me whole. I realized that love does not need thousand of words for expression it can be seen in the eyes of two people which changes every time they see each other. We can feel it in the smiles of couple which curve in an unique way by seeing each other and this curve of their mouth is only reserved for their other half. Love is world and I understood world when I found one of my own.