Farewell

Shanaya was secretly in love with Krishanu for a long time. All her friends knew exactly how much she doted on him. Starting from admiring Krishanu from the corner of her eye during classes, to laughing at his silly jokes, implementing strategies for sitting beside him even just for few minutes, getting upset when he missed school, and so much more, Shanaya did practically everything to be noticed. That being said, she was not capable of competing with other girls, who well also doted on Krishanu. They were smart, beautiful, and lacked shyness when it was about confessing their affection, quite unlike Shanaya.

Years Later ...

Shanaya's crush never, unfortunately, took off. She was an artist, at present, and held exhibitions if of course, her financial conditions permitted. She never tried to find out what happened to Krishanu after high school, given they had plenty of mutual friends, and social media connected individuals beyond geographical boundaries, that would have been quite easy. Shanaya last saw Krishanu during their farewell party, where they simply wished all the best to each other.

Shanaya was now in a relationship with Partho Chatterjee, a banker by profession, for almost three years. Their families planned to get them married by next year or so. Partho leaves no stone unturned to make Shanaya feel special. Apart from showering her with gifts, he also provided constant encouragement, especially when Shanaya's career was going downhill. 

Shanaya finally agreed to her father's pestering and was going for an interview at a multinational organization. She knew this entire session was a mere formality because thanks to her father's networks, she already got the job. "Working as an artist will not pay your bills" - the words uttered by her parents time and again finally forced her to give in. Lost in thoughts, Shanaya suddenly saw a man smiling at her. When he came up closer for a conversation, Shanaya realized it was none other than Krishanu. He has become more handsome than ever, Shanaya thought.

Krishanu was an international photographer. He stays in Italy and came to Kolkata for a break. Shanaya cannot stop drooling over his beardy face and deep voice. It was probably the best bus ride she ever had and now she has set herself up for a coffee date, or okay a hangout, that is what Krishanu said.

For a couple of days, Shanaya spent her entire time chatting with Krishanu over WhatsApp. The night before their "hangout", she shuffled her wardrobe to find the perfect outfit, jewelry, footwear, and makeup, when her phone beeped.

"Talking at a cafeteria would be quite boring, so, we will be going to an amusement park.. xoxo".

"By the way are you seeing anybody?"

Shanaya suddenly forgot how to spell "Yes". Her attraction was uncontrollable, and she was beyond feeling even an ounce of guilt. She just wanted to enjoy with Krishanu, and if that means telling lie, she would do so in a heartbeat.

"No"- she hit the send button with little hesitation.

Krishanu compelled Shanaya to try every ride even the giant rollercoaster. Even though terrified to the core, Shanaya knew this would be ideal as she can tightly grasp Krishanu's hand. "Had I realized you were so beautiful and fun in school, things would have been quite different", Krishanu said. Shanaya was all prepared to lose herself in his deep eyes when she blurted, "I am engaged".

It was almost a week and Krishanu didn't try to contact Shanaya. She is embarrassed to the very core failed to take the initial step. To take her mind off recent events, Shanaya started watching FRIENDS. After finishing a few episodes, she saw her phone and saw three messages of Krishanu. Her heart started beating very fast.

"Hi"

"I will be back to Italy in two days. Can you meet me?"

"????"

Shanaya haven't thought this would be so awkward. She and Krishanu were at Krishanu's terrace for almost fifteen minutes, and none of them uttered a single word. Finally, Shanaya mustered the courage and said sorry for lying about not seeing anybody before. She continued,

"I had this huge crush on you. Well, to be honest, I loved you like anything, hence, I guess I just wanted to live my dream when you asked me out. But I am going to get married next year, and my fiance is incredible. I cannot leave him ever. He is my support. He is my best friend, actually, my only friend"

Krishanu leaned to wipe away tears of Shanaya, and press his lips against hers. After a minute or so, he finally said, "We did say all the best to each other eighteen years ago but this is our true farewell. I wish you nothing but happiness."

While returning home, Shanaya, for the first time in years, felt free. She ultimately let Krishanu, her first love, go. This is the reality. You do not always get what you want but that does not mean you cannot be happy.