It was killing silence when I entered the home. Yes I said it correct ‘home’ because no one was there to make it a house. This silence of which I was used to before marriage at hostel but suddenly started to haunt me now at my place. Yes, I did miss him but was not having guts to call him back in my life. I didn't know if I was in a situation to feel sorry. What I did was not a crime, it was just a decision. May be he failed to understand me. Divorce was not a solution. We would have talked and sorted out. But he was not in a mood to talk. I felt alone. But what would have I done? I had no other choice. I was on the peak of my career and at such a point starting a family was not a plan. Yes I had aborted without informing him. It was obvious of him to be upset with me but this divorce was unexpected. I removed the divorce notice papers from.my bag and kept it on the drawing room table. I felt as if I was letting the sand go off my hands.
2 months ago...
“It was our child and so our decision “he shouted at me. “But it was me who was going to bear the child, and I was not prepared” I cried.
“But at least you should have told me. Our families had high expectations.”
“Were you over here? You were at London. I had told you not to go because I was expecting”
“I had my important meetings. Company was crossing market with turnover of 50 crore. And so I had to go.”
“Even I had my works. I am presenting our company in Australia. It was a huge chance for me to fly high and in this pregnancy I wouldn't have got the chance to fly.”
“Oh please. Excuses.”
“Your career, huge! And my career, excuses!”
“Today technology has shot high up. We would have talked on phone or skyped”
“Are such sensitive issues to be discussed on phone or skype!”
“Business deals happen through this technology!”
“It was our relation, the bond we share. It was not a bloody business deal.”
“We would have discussed after my arival”
“I would have been too late. After 3 months I wouldn't have been able to abort.”
I started crying. But Shubh was not trying to understand me. He just thought about his family over me.
“Lets not talk over this. And for god damn it stop that plastic cry. The fact is you don't value our relation, you selfish.”
I couldn't control. I slapped him hard.
“What the hell!”
He left the house making it home permanently.
I went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. There was nothing in the kitchen except for empty vessels. What an irony. Kitchen personified my life. I went to the bedroom and slept empty stomach. My work in Australia was a huge success. There was a huge increment in my salary. But there was no one to celebrate the success. There was no one with whom I would spend my money. I had money but no life. May be I had started accepting my decision as my mistake. Is thinking about ourselves so wrong? Is taking our decisions ourselves is wrong? I didn't know what life was upto.
Suddenly the doorbell rang. It was 11.30 at night. The voice of the bell in silent house brought chill in my spine. The bell had rung after two months. I was clueless and more than that I was afraid. I called up the watchman to ask who had approached my house. It was Shubh. Drunk and beaten up. I took him inside. We didn't talk. He collapsed on bed and slept. I cleaned his wounds, medicated them and changed his clothes.
The next day I woke up and saw tea and biscuits beside my bed. I was astonished to see them. I took the tray in the kitchen where Shubh was preparing breakfast.
“Good morning” he said cheerfully.
“Good morning” I said in all confused.
“I am preparing omelet the way you like, and for shock in your kitchen there was nothing. Did you have your dinner in restaurant yesterday?”
“No, I didn't”
“So you slept empty stomach!?”
I nodded in approval. He served me the breakfast.
“Shubh, what was that yesterday? Are you okay now?”
“I had a painkiller in the morning. I am okay now. Thanks for dressing me up. I was not in my senses. I was to drunk and my sub conscious mind brought me here.”
“No, driver left me”
“And these wounds?”
“Since I was drunk, I had a fight with one of my collegue.”
“He mocked upon u and our divorce. I couldn't take it and punched him hard.”
I stayed surprised, shocked and speechless.
“I was not able to handle divorce thing and so took support of alcohol.”
“If you didn't want divorce then why those divorce papers?”
“I am sorry. I was under pressure. The meeting didn't go well in London that time. And when I arrived my mother told me that you had aborted without informing anyone. She fed my mind against you. Mom and dad were pressuring me from one year to start family. But I was not ready to pressure you. So after 4 years of marriage when you got pregnant all were very happy, but your abortion news shattered them. All that came out in form of fight.”
It spread silence. We couldn't control our emotions. We started crying like children. But may be that had to happen. The pain of separation and fights found their way through tears. I hugged him tight. We both apologized for our behaviors.
That day our relation got a new morning. The bright sunny morning.