Nostalgia

Virush was stressed.

He has been working in an IT company for 9 years.

He suddenly felt an early onslaught of midlife crisis.

He felt that his life was empty.

The moody weekend triggered his old memories, his memories at college, his memories at his hostel in his college. He was bitten by nostalgia. And he longed to go back to those days. If and only if he could travel across time ten years back.

Virush got on his bike and took a ride on East Coast Road of Chennai. He had no destination, just a metaphorical ride into his past. After an hour into the ride, he took a left cut into a bylane and reached the beach. It was getting dark and the sun was already taking leave. Virush sat on the beach and peered into the ocean . There was not a soul within sight.

"Son" a voice called him over his back . Virush turned back and got startled at the weird looking persona. The person looked like a rustic mystic.

Before Virush could answer he carried on

"I know what is running through your mind "

"Memories isnt it "

"Good old days?"

And he gave a hefty laugh.

Before Virush could answer he carried on

"I can give you a choice to go back to your old days"

"Would you like to have it?"

This time Virush could answer . But he questioned

"Who are you ? "

"What do you want ?"

"I want nothing my son . I have everything . I am everything ."

Someone on drugs perhaps, he ignored.

"Get away from me, before i hurt you " he retorted.

"You cannot hurt me, not atleast the way your memories hurt you" he again gave a hefty laugh.

At this Virush got provoked and punched the mystic on his face.

The mystic was unmoved. And his eyes looked as if they could tear Virush's soul apart, put them back together and would ask

"Would you like to go back?"

Wanting to end the conversation, Virush asked dismissively

"Ok, say i want to go back . What should i do ?"

"No SAY my son, do you really WANT?

Feeling that the mystic is not going to leave him, he said

"Ok, I want, send me, let me see what you do "

Again a hefty laugh followed . The mystic followed

"I will send you right now. There is no coming back . If at any moment you want to talk to me go to the nearest Shiva temple at your college and pray to me"

At this Virush started shivering .

 "Could this be true"  "He is just a maniac " "Answer him and see what he does" "Just run away" "Hit him very hard this time" "Just say no and walk back, go home "

Thoughts gave him choices.

Before he could realize, he said

"Fine, send me now"

The mystic smiled, touched his forehead and recited a mantra.

Some day, 2007

"Dei Dog, wake up, atleast one day wake before 11 am" .

It was Palani, Virush's room mate cum close friend.

Virush removed the nasty smelling blanket away from his face and looked up. The mystic was right.

It took a few moments for him to come to a steady state. He felt a sudden surge of happiness . The golden days are here right before him one more time . He looked at Palani and his face glowed too bright.

"Did you drink yesterday? ..Wait ..but you dont drink..some one forced you??"

Palani was all questions.

"Dei I am asking you . Why are you smiling like that. Still in dream with Trisha wah"

"Yes da, was in a dream " he lied. "Why does the room smell like this "

he enquired.

"What smell, I dont smell anything "

Virush looked at the clothes scattered across the room unwashed for probably a month. He looked at Palani's desktop computer and found the date . It was a Saturday in the month of August . He was in his final year of college which he considered the golden days of his life.

Virush then spent half an hour looking for toothpaste, brushed, vomitted after using the hostel toilet, realized there was no water in the bathroom, filled water from the toilet tap, took bath and felt exhausted having just fulfilled his biological requirements.

At the mess, he went for breakfast and realized he had no plate . Until yesterday he had shared his friends plate with 5 other hostel mates. Entering the mess, he saw them eating . Embarrassed to share the plate he tried to return when Palani pulled him back . Virush realized that with the pocket money he had he cant afford to eat out and he had to adjust .He adjusted with no other choice.

Days rolled on.

On another weekend, Virush decided to meet Bhanupriya, the final year student from Electronics Department.He had met her thrice so far but never revealed his feelings.In his previous life he had fallen madly in love with this girl, proposed her and broke up three years later . Still he missed her .He promised himself that he will not let their relationship break this time.

"Hey Bhanu" he called her as she finished her prayer and started leaving the Shiva temple nearby his college. He had been waiting outside the temple .

She looked back .

"I wanted to say this to you. I feel like I have lived a life with you already "

"I want to live another one with you "

"Will you accept me "

She laughed and asked him to stop using flimsy dialogues .Yet she had felt moved when he said those words.

"I am not interested in love Virush. Stop thinking about this and never approach me with this intention" she fired back.

Virush's heart broke. She had accepted him the very first time he proposed in his previous life.

Days rolled on .

Virush enjoyed the communal feeling, the honest conversations, the innocent friendships of college life and the list ended there. He hated the food, the toilet, his room, his dress . The sarcastic comments which he had enjoyed in his previous life at hostel, now often hit his ego . He got into fights. He missed the comfort he had of the 30 year old self, missed money, missed freedom, missed privacy, missed the opportunities he could create in his career and life. He realized there was little envy in his hostel because everyone had the same fun, the same environment .But his mind was imagining the opportunities his peers were enjoying 10 years later at this moment in a parallel universe which he could have got too. He felt envy.

He missed 2017. He wished he could go back.

Days rolled on .

It was another weekend. While his room mate was sleeping, he woke up and went to the nearby Shiva temple . He closed his eyes and prayed.

"I dont know how to call you . But you know I am here. Help me . I am feeling like a misfit here."

he prayed silently.

He waited for an answer. There was no reply from the mystic as promised. He started getting impatient.

"You have fooled me", he cursed and broke into tears.

He remembered his memories of his now old life.He was bit by nostalgia.He longed to go back.And just when he was about to leave, he heard the hefty laugh of the mystic.

"I know what is running through your mind "

"Memories isnt it "

"Good old days?"

And he again followed it with a hefty laugh.

"I told you, there is no coming back"

And that was it . He could not hear the mystic anymore.

He felt heartbroken and returned to his hostel . The entire day he tried to avoid his friends. But he couldnt . Palani saw his long face and pressed him for the reason . At a moment he thought if he could reveal him the truth about his time travel and how he longed to go back. He knew for sure he would ignore him and get more sarcastic on him

"I proposed Bhanupriya da. She rejected me" he said instead.

Palani consoled him saying that it had already happened thrice to him with three different girls and he had stayed strong.

Virush couldnt but help a laugh.

He loved Palani.

That night at 12 am midnight his 1100 nokia mobile beeped.

He opened the message . It was from Bhanupriya.

"Sorry, da Virush. I hurt you today. Can we meet at shiva temple tomorrow"