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Trija Mukherjee

Others

5.0  

Trija Mukherjee

Others

The Best Generation

The Best Generation

8 mins
17.1K


7.15 am IST

"Maa!" I screamed, "I am so late for office. My alarm didn't ring. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You hardly sleep these days, Mana" She replied in a calm voice, "I called you twice but you were too sleepy to reply, leave aside waking up. Plus, you came home really late last night from work, so I thought to let you sleep a bit more."

"How can you just assume things Mom?!" I rushed for shower.

My Mom (a baby-boomer) is a middle aged woman who got married at the age of 19. Just two weeks before her tying the knot, she got a job offer from a Government Organization -a very big deal back then. And when she had to choose between her dream job and getting arranged married, she chose to be a housewife for the rest of her life, a no-brainer for her! I respect all jobs (including full time home-making), but the part that left me, her millennial kid, astonished, was that her decision was based on a. society b. family c. period. She never existed in her priority list, and that still continues.   

But that's my narrative! She seems to be in an eternal bliss with all the decisions that she made in her life. It's like she is not aware of the whole self-loving-and-healing-without-feeling-an-ounce-of-guilt concept. And, I gloriously failed each time I tried to explain them to her.

Maa had me when she was 20 years 'young', so as the years passed, we grew together. As a child, I used to study by the small corner kitchen and she used to tell me stories of her childhood while she cooked. I would read out my essays to her and she would say I did a great job, each time. As I grew up, the kitchen got bigger, and I studied in my room, catching up during breaks. I still read out my stories to her, including this one, which she thinks (in a much biased way) is great too!

My Mom is a born mother. Out of all the roles that she plays throughout the day, I think the 'Mother' in her is the most dominant one and maybe that's why everything today is how it is.  During one of our 'millennial counselling sessions', her counter to my YOLO-and-love-yourself advice: "I understand what you are saying, but I have my kids and that's all I ever wanted. I enjoy being a full-time mother and woman of the house. Of course there are bad days, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Would you, Mana?" I paused for a bit to come up with a befitting reply, but, well I couldn't. 

7.23 am IST

I rushed out of the shower, straight to my room, next is quickly ironing my clothes and then I'll be almost ready to leave. As I was about to enter my room in the first floor, I heard a feeble voice calling out my name. It was my Grandma. "Is it very urgent, Thammi?" I asked holding the door knob. The answer as if echoed in my ears "Yes".

I rushed downstairs; she was in the Puja Ghar (a room or place in the house where Idols are worshiped). She gave me a small paper chit tightly wrapped with a red thread. She said, "Keep this in your bag, this will protect you." I looked at the watch and then at her, confused. "It's a blessed flower from the Puja I offered in your name, for your well-being. I get really worried when you return home so late." I took the chit, smiled and assured her, "Don't worry Thammi!" and raced upstairs.

My Thammi (from the 'Silent Generation') is 88 years old; she survived multiple bone fractures, three surgeries including one open heart, two cerebral attacks and a huge joint family and still cake-walks into everyday with that beautiful smile. She is the most strong-willed woman I know in person. She is disciplined, unfathomably hard working, has a very high self-esteem and an astonishingly intense faith in her God. She says she has witnessed miracles and I believe her.

Though Thammi grew up in the British-ruled era, she has a very liberal outlook in the most unexpected facets of life. I remember when I was dating my first boyfriend, I somehow felt more comfortable sharing it with her than Maa. She was not even upset when I added that the guy is from a different religion, which could be a big deal in an orthodox-middle-class-brahmin family. She said, "I understand, I have myself been in a love marriage. Just be happy in life, that's very important." This was six years ago. And I am sure it wouldn't have been this smooth a conversation with my Mom on this topic.

I'd lay beside her she'd pat my head and tell me her stories- how at the tender age of 15, her mother passed away and she had to take the responsibility of her family; how she had to quit school to take care of her sister, but continued reading at home; how a British soldier stalked her and she had to dip into a pond to hide herself; how all the eligible bachelors in the locality wanted to marry her and how she fell in love with my Dadai. 

A year back, I was having this similar conversation with Thammi, where she asked me about my first boyfriend. I told her that we are not in talking terms. She asked out of concern, "Is everything alright?" I just replied that we were not together anymore. She smiled and said, "It's okay for relationships to end. If you like someone else, that's life but don't cheat or hurt anyone". It was nothing new, but this wisdom from a 1930's woman was very heartwarming. My Mom overheard the conversation and remarked, "I don't understand how this generation changes boyfriends so often. We just knew we had to stay with this one person and the rest fell into place."

7.25 am IST

I hurried to my room. There I saw my sister ironing my favourite pair of top and trousers. On seeing me, she said, "I am almost done and I know you are finicky about what to wear on which day to office so I took no chance and ironed your favourite pair." I was touched and said, "Thank you Sri, you saved me. I thought you were studying in the second floor."

She said, "I was. I have my Selections starting tomorrow but I can spare 15." That felt nice but was also curious about her generosity. I asked her, jokingly, "Do you want anything from me?" She laughed, "Listen, don't waste time, get dressed and go to office". I frowned then nodded and agreed. The moment I was going to shut the door, she stopped me with a grin, "By the way, how about gifting me the new flip phone?"

This generation, what do they call it – Gen Z, Gen Z++, I am not too sure but judging by my sister, who is preparing for her first Board Examination, is a very interesting one. She is a complete rebel. Compromise is not in her books. I think she took the 'YOLO' way too seriously. Well, everybody should but for her nothing can wait. She does what she wants and is very vocal about it. She wouldn't sit though a boring family conversation or wouldn't go to a social gathering she doesn't like, which is very new to me. I mean, I had to be at multiple weddings of people I never met. And I could have said no?! She says I understand her. Well, I try to understand her and relate to what she says but not every time I can make sense of what and why she says things. She has food, games, chats, exam, friends, career, beach-house, dogs- going on inside that (not so) little mind, all at the same time. I understand her?  Well, I try to. One day at a time.

Sri is more matured than I was at her age and definitely smarter than all of us put together in my family. I remember Dad putting a password for accessing Internet in our PC so that she doesn't waste time on social media. Well, she cracked it in a day and claimed it was very simple. Maybe it was, but I would have never even attempted to do so. She is into sports and not dance (which is a tradition in our family) but she quit dance and chose athletics after a long hot and cold war with my parents. Probably, I wouldn't have dared to do that either. 

Though she is 10 years younger to me, I share almost everything with her and sometimes she advises me like an elder sister. She pampers me, surprises me on my birthdays, packs my bag when I am going for a trip and also irons my clothes when I am dead late for work. We share PJs, gossips, jackets, slippers and a lot of madness which are inexplicable. She can give me classes on the latest un-parliamentary words and why I should drink-smoke-smoke up. But at the end of everything, I feel like a mother to her, she is my little one.

In one of the cold winter evenings, Sri and I joined Thammi at the tea table. Maa walked in with 4 cups of soulful ginger tea and a bowl of puffed rice. Amidst our conversation about our neighbour's controversial choice of a bride, Sri looked at me and abruptly interrupted, "Di, I'll back you up even if you want to marry a woman someday. In fact, I am exploring options for myself" we fist-bumped and cracked up at that. Unexpectedly, Maa got up with a serious face and retorted, "That'll be the last day we speak" and walked out of the room with her unfinished cup of tea. After 2 minutes of silence, Thammi whispered in my ears, "So, there is a name for woman loving woman?"

7.31 am IST.

I grabbed my bag and laptop and as I was about to head downstairs, Maa came out of the kitchen and handed me my lunch bag and said, "I made your favourite Paneer last night but you were too tired to eat, so I packed it for your lunch today" I felt delighted and said, "You're the best Mom on Earth!" and planted a kiss on her cheeks and ran downstairs.

From the door I shouted, "Bye Thammi, Bye Maa, Bye Sri". My customary farewell while leaving for work

As I stepped out, I looked at my watch and was relieved that I was only 2 minutes behind my usual schedule.

After a few steps as I turned back to wave Goodbye (which is also customary), I saw Thammi (my Silent Gen Rockstar) by the door, Mom (my Precious Baby Boomer) at the first floor window and Sri (my Gen Z kid) at the second floor balcony, all three of them waving back at their millennial. And right there, I had the three women from three different generations who meant the world to me.

With that sight, a happy realization gushed in- I don't know which is the best generation of them all, but I definitely know that I have the best of all three generations.


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