Why Divergent?

Why am I a divergent?

An erudite would give the pedantic definition of divergent to be "tending to move apart in different directions." But I am just one person, I am just me, I am Beatrice Prior. Why would I want to tear myself apart and head to different directions? What do they mean by that? How can I as a single individual lead my life in different aspects? Do I not have self-esteem or determination so as to shift my path from one to the other? Why is it that I am a divergent...

I had my aptitude test and when I opened my eyes after the exhaustion of the stimulating tests, I saw an unusual fear in the eyes of my examiner, Tori. She looked at me blankly with both awe and terrible fear; she looked at me as if I were some innocent, harmless but ferocious deadly beast. She stared as though I were some piece of art who gave contrasting interpretations in the mind of the viewer - something magical but fatally magical.

I wasn't very pleased at that stare of hers, something was definitely wrong. I had no expectations that she was very pleased either, perhaps after seeing my performance in the test, because her gaze in a way gave me strong feelings that something peculiar about me had resulted in that piercing, nerve-racking, immovable stare of hers on me. I asked her, "Tori, what's wrong? Did I... Did I mess up?"

Tori was clearly too shocked to speak, her lips were pressed close so tight while she was staring at me that, when she tried to speak, I saw that sticky gooey thing that comes between the lips when you talk after a long time. "Ms. Prior... Who exactly are you? What did your parents tell you about this thing? What faction do you belong to? Where do you want to go after this test?"

I lived in Abnegation. I was a Prior, daughter of Andrew and Natalie Prior who were leaders with Marcus Eaton. I lived in the world of factions. There were 5 factions - Abnegation, Dauntless, Erudite, Amity and Candor. When a child in each faction turned 16, he had to give that aptitude test to decide which faction he would go to. It was the deciding point of his life. I had come to mine. It is supposed to be enlightening, that test, to let the child know what his future is like. But seeing Tori, I was suddenly unsure of my future.

"I am from Abnegation. Mom and Dad never told me anything, it was all normal, they told me and Caleb about this test and that it was a mock round for us to know what we will choose in the final ceremony." Caleb was my elder brother.

"Beatrice... I need you to know something. I can't tell you very precisely and you don't have much time. You are a divergent! You..."

I cut her off, "Divergent? What is that"

Tori gasped, "Dear lords... Beatrice! Child, listen to me carefully. Any normal person when takes this aptitude test, he gets a result based on how he performs. He gets a faction suggestion for himself and he chooses his future faction referring to his results. This is a very common large scale... er...thing. But... There are these certain people... I don't know whether they're gifted or cursed, they don't get just one faction. Their test shows two factions for them, which means they are fit for two different factions and have various abilities, and this... is seen as a threat in our community. Beatrice, you are the most peculiar divergent I have ever seen... You have aptitude for THREE factions..."

Now it was my turn to give those blank shocked stares... "Three? So you mean to say I'm a predator according to the people? And aptitude for three factions makes me even a worse predator? Okay what factions do I have aptitude for?"

"I see you have a very intelligent brain, so you have one for Erudite. You fought that huge dog bravely to save that girl, you could be Dauntless too. And that selflessness of yours also showed your aptitude for Abnegation..."

What happened after that, I am unsure of. The world suddenly seemed faint around me. I saw nothing but pictures of me, contrasting pictures of me, who were split into not one but 3 factions. I heard a faint voice saying, "Beatrice, run home. I will cover up for you and record only one faction. And do not tell anybody, understand? You're in great danger!!"

I had no idea what was happening. Now I am back to thinking why am I a divergent? Is it because of split ways of thinking and acting? Or is it just that deep beneath I have split personalities that could fit into all factions? A divergent - I am still unsure of what that term really means. Am I called so because I can just be myself but at the same time visualize myself as someone else? I have taken Dauntless in the ceremony. But that talk about being a divergent still beats me. I can still feel myself to be Abnegation because I can't stop being kind and selfless. Is that why I'm divergent? I am brave, I am smart, I am kind. Why is it that I can't be all three? Just because I am, I am a divergent? We are all split up to be divided to make human sections of kindess (Abnegation), bravery (Dauntless), intelligence (Erudite), honesty (Candor) and happiness (Amity). Why are we humans then? If I am to be happy, I can't be smart. If I am to brave, I can't be selfless. Is this how world works? Or do these people just want us to sto being complete humans?

I don't know why but I feel proud as a divergent. I want to be kind, selfless, honest, brave, happy and smart. I don't want to be a person who has to compromise other qualities just to be one particular sort. I am destined to bring a change in the world. I think, it is my duty to let people know how each quality works with the other, to make us true humans. I am now Tris Prior and I am here not to devastate but to improve the world.