Classics Fantasy Horror
When I was little, no one believed me. I was all alone. Now look at them. They simply won’t let me be. Paltry beings, humans. Always whining. So easily influenced, as if they can’t think for themselves. Anyway, let me tell you my story from the very beginning.
When I was around six years of age, I was incredibly fascinated by the night sky. My parents were both lawyers and were usually busy, so I spent most of my time surrounded by picture books and my most beloved possession: my faithful telescope. Every night, after lights out, I would sneak up to the terrace and just lie down with my blanket, staring into the splendid brilliance of the night sky. They never knew.
School was terrible. Somehow, I never got along with my classmates, and though I was fortunately never bullied, I wasn’t particularly liked by all. Soon, I got myself a best friend. By then, I was twelve and had picked up another fixation. That particular fascination of books, preferentially horror and macabre, was shared by my friend, Daniel Waters. Danny and I got along exceptionally well. Our parents were also acquaintances, but that didn’t account for much, for they were absorbed largely by their work. Later, as I turned 14, the one good thing in my flaccid life was snatched. It was Danny.
On the eve of my 13th birthday, as he was on the way to my house, a truck crashed into his car. His parents were unharmed, but poor Danny's time had come. When they told me the next day, after brushing off endless questions with unsatisfactory answers, I simply couldn’t believe them. That was not a possibility I could even comprehend, or even hope to, no matter how hard I tried-and tried I did. He simply couldn’t leave me here. Not when we planned to reach the moon together, and to never end our quests. But I was helpless, and soon devoid of any trace of happiness or hope, for that matter. This paved way to the lonely phase of my painfully miserable life. The kids at school only talked to me out of pity, and I hated the feeling. Absolutely detested every second of that. So, I decided to vent out by picking up a pen and poured my heart out in my poems.
My Language teacher at school didn’t show much enthusiasm, to say the least. She soon started to avoid me, and didn’t choose me for any literary event, although I had probably read more books than the rest of my class combined. Needless to say, I was an absolute mess, and well, the rooftop trips at night became more frequent, not merely for my pleasure but out of need. I was mad at Danny, though it wasn’t his fault at all, and I knew that but chose to ignore it regardless. Every night, I gazed at the stars, so mesmerized, and promised myself to bring a difference. To do something to make myself proud, and to make Danny proud as well. So, the couple of the poems I wrote proved to be failures, and as much as i hate to admit it, this was maddening. Thereafter, I began to immerse myself in books and soon became one of the toppers of my class. Although I was good at studying and was very well behaved (due to the lack of interest in socialising), my teachers always undermined me. Always.
I took up extra tuitions, just like the rest of the kids, for a little bit of help, but there too, they continually disregarded me. Although I scored well, but I was never selected to reach forward, for academic events, whereas the rest of the kids soon seemed to have surpassed me. Maybe it was because of my absolutely condescending looks, or my lack of participation in answering questions in front of everyone that made them brutally suppress me, but either way, my hate for them slowly turned into rage, and I eventually decided to not attend those and began to avoid them altogether. I bottled everything up, and well I had gotten so used to doing that that things actually didn't weigh on me, and there was something queerly wonderful about that. I mean, I had never been much of a talker anyway. I began to seemingly live inside books, and my curiosity regarding outer space grew, sort of like wildfire.
"Judy is so weird.
Why are you so quiet? You’re not Judy, you know.
Look at that freak, Judy! There she goes!
It’s okay to be moody, just don’t turn into Judy."
That’s all I got at school. High school was brutal, but I had made it a point to not care (it was astonishingly easy). I was all alone, and I had made peace with it. I found strange beauty in silence, and embraced it numbly. By then I had isolated myself from the outside world, and my mind always had something going on in it. Now I had decided to become an astrophysicist - My wretched life had found meaning at last.
One night, before going to bed, I looked at a picture of deep space, captured by Hubble, and overcome by awe and fascination at the countless galaxies, retired to bed. The next morning I woke up in a daze, for I recounted having dreamt about the very same image, but I could not remember it. It was a bit unusual, for somehow, I always remembered my dreams. At school, as I stared at some non-existent abyss, unaware of my surroundings for a while, a sudden thought struck me out of nowhere, and I blinked once. Twice. The harsh reality dawned on me-
Human existence itself is very insignificant. Out of countless galaxies, ours is just another one. Out of those, we live on a tiny planet, of a tiny star, of a tiny galaxy, relatively speaking. If our species is wiped out, which seemed highly likely according to the current lifestyle of people, It wouldn’t make a bit of a difference. It would not alter the course of the universe. The universe would continue to expand, and the Homo sapiens would be extinct, and that would be it. It wouldn’t affect the course of the universe at all. In short, we simply don’t matter.
Humans were never meant to voyage relatively far, nor were they designed to discover a lot. Instead of living in the midst of literally myriad yet unexplicable phenomena and intriguing secrets, most of us chose to ignore them all, which is indeed very pitiful. Earlier, when people were busy discovering things and exploring, at some point, they must have either lost the will to continue or gotten too involved in their own worldly deeds. The whole notion is pretty poignant.
At that time, this just occurred to me out of nowhere, and I became infatuated. It was always right there, in front of me, and how or why it occurred to me so suddenly, I knew not. But since I knew that our very existence was worthless with respect to the cosmos, I set my mind to get some answers.
So, I worked day and night, amidst complex equations, theories and concepts, and I loved it. It was thrilling. I spent around five years, researching, and looking for answers. What I had found was enthralling. I had worked up better theories regarding the formation of Quasars, about black holes, white holes and so much more. I compiled it all and sent it for publishing. The day before the release of my thesis, I had a strange dream.
I seemed to be surrounded by innumerable stars enveloped in the dark. Slowly, a figure seemed to appear before me. I am forbidden to describe it wholly, but believe me, it appeared to be made up of a uniquely grotesque core, its power so immense, I could feel it flowing all around me. Though it had no mouth, I could hear a toneless voice inside my head, for 'they' communicate via telepathy, beckoning to me, and praising me for finding out so much in so little time. I was twenty then. I asked what it was, and without actual explanation, I understood. It transferred all the required information in my brain. 'They' were responsible for everything.
They were the creators. Some would compare them to God, but as far as I knew, they were the ultimate primal force, who controlled everything, but obviously didn’t bother to get involved with petty human activities. I was, apparently an exception, and what I had found out as a result of my research, was exceptional according to human standards, and it was all that the humans needed to know then. My book would come out the next day, and they would know. I was the chosen one.
I was taken under their wing, for there are many of those sanctified superior beings. I cannot reveal much more, only that they are the ultimate power, invincible. The humans, on the other hand, are equivalent to zilch. Their knowledge is limited and controlled. They are only a speck of matter, who are too absorbed in their own petty affairs to notice anything, for 'they' are all around us. To fulfil our narrow capacity, we must look for answers. Other than that, our existence is pointless. The quest must never come to an end, for if you stop here, you might just as well give up on your existance perpetually.
And for the few of you who dare to challenge us, here's a little something just for you-
For those who laughed at me, I see you as you fall.
Now I can control you, and you shall soon crawl.
If you continue like this, and remain obscure,
Before my eyes, a nasty death you will endure!