The Aunty Syndrome

Mary was reading a mystery novel. She was so engrossed in it that she did not hear the doorbell ring. She was very irritated and reluctantly got up to open the door. It was a salesman canvassing his company's products. He greeted her with a smile and said," Good morning, aunty. I am from Parivar group of companies." " What are you going to sell, condoms or contraceptives?" she asked him with a sneer. He was stunned by her response. She said " Don't look so perplexed. When you said that you were from Parivar group, I thought they specialized in family planning products." He answered her " We have come out with a new line of cosmetics for men and women. Take a look at this new shaving cream for your husband and son. It is purely herbal and offers ample skin protection. We also have skin care products for you and your daughter." She looked at him with fury in her eyes. She said " Will you stop blabbering and listen to me? First of all, I am not married. Therefore, I don't have any husband, son or daughter. Secondly, I was not born to your grandparents. So I am not your aunty. Let me give you a fucking piece of advice. Don't address any lady as aunty or else you won't be able to sell a single product." Mary slammed the door on his face and went inside to continue reading her book.

She was in her thirties but appeared to be older because of her obesity. She got irked up whenever someone called her aunty. Her parents were searching for a bridegroom for her. The guys kept on rejecting her. She developed an inferiority complex. Mary's parents David D'Costa and Sally urged her to go for a regular exercise and reduce her weight. She used to go cycling. She gave it up after she met with an accident. Her right leg was fractured. She underwent an operation to fix up her broken bones.

Mary was charming in her own way. She was outspoken and had an excellent sense of humour. One day she was waiting at the bus stop for her friend. A young lady stopped her bike in front of Mary. She requested Mary to look after her bike. She came back after five minutes. She said " Thanks for looking after my bike, aunty." Mary replied "You are most welcome, my dear child. But you should be in your school and not bunk the classes. Have you informed your parents about your whereabouts? They will be worried. Besides, the kidnappers are looming at large. You should not be wandering alone."

The lady with the bike was furious. She rolled her eyes and said "How could you treat me like a school going, kid? I am 28 years old and married."

Mary hit back saying " You called me an aunty. If I am an aunty then you are a child. I am thirty years old. A couple of years' difference doesn't make me your aunty." The lady was red with embarrassment. She apologized to Mary and left away in a hurry. The women who witnessed this incident broke into laughter.

Mary went straight to her room after reaching home. She didn't feel hungry. So she gulped down a glass of milk and skipped dinner.

She made up her mind to reduce her weight. She decided to join a gym. Next day, she went to Alpha gym which was quite near her house.

A young man in his mid-twenties saw her coming and got up from his chair to greet her. He said " Good morning, Madam. What can I do for you?" She smiled and replied " I wanted to join your gym. How much do I have to pay each month? What are the timings of your gym?" " It's great to know that you are a health conscious woman. Our gym timings are 6.30 AM till 9.30 AM in the morning and 5.30 PM till 9.30 PM. The fees are pretty reasonable. We charge Rs 800/- per month for both men and women. There is a concession of 20% on fees for women over 40. You can avail this concession."

Mary turned around and started walking away from the gym. The young gym consultant stopped her saying " Please don't go away. I can give you a further discount of 10%." She glared at him and retorted angrily " To hell with your concession and discount. What made you think that I am above 40?"

He was silent. Mary vented out her rage and yelled " What do you think of yourselves? Are you Sherlock Holmes to judge people by their appearance?" The poor guy answered " Please cool down. It was an unintentional and honest mistake. I am sorry." Her anger faded away. She said " I shouldn't have lost my temper. I am sorry. I guess I should be walking around with a board hanging on my front and back that says ' I am just thirty. Don't call me aunty'". The consultant said " You are an interesting person. I wish you would change your mind and join the gym."

Mary laughed and shook hands with him. He said " I forgot to introduce myself. I am Ravi. I am the physical fitness trainer cum consultant." Mary introduced herself and paid the fees in advance.

She was determined to lose her weight and shred off the aunty tag.

When she entered the gym next day, a conceited young man who was using the treadmill, laughed at her over her physical appearance. He commented " It's so funny. I thought that the gym was meant for humans and not for buffaloes." She clenched her fist and took a deep breath. She responded " What an amazing coincidence! Even I thought that the gym was meant for humans. I am rather surprised to find a donkey."

There were peals of laughter on hearing her witty remarks. He was unable to control his anger. He went away to resume his exercise. He started making fun of her. " Be careful, aunty. That equipment may not sustain your weight. Don't you feel that your place should be in the kitchen? You should be cooking for your husband and children. Why are you so conscious of your bulky figure?" She stopped cycling and shot him a dirty look. She got down and came near him. She said " I am sorry for calling you a donkey. I must get my eyesight checked. You are a typical male chauvinistic pig. Take my suggestion. Stop barking and continue doing your work."

She turned away and resumed her exercise. He stared at her with his mouth wide open in astonishment. There were a few claps. One of the guys cheered her saying "Way to go, Madam. You put him in his proper place." She smiled at him. She left the gym after an hour. She was in an upbeat mood. She had learnt how to face her critics and silence them. She had managed to reduce her weight by 15 Kgs at the end of the year. She had a slim waistline and got herself a facial makeover. She was so gorgeous now that people stopped calling her aunty. She got married to a businessman who was 33 and was blessed with a son and a daughter.