blue without her blue jacket

I remember going down to the store with ma and not knowing what to buy

It was my first day of high school tomorrow and I knew I'd see Mara. 

Mara was hot in an unusual way. she wore grunge t-shirts, she tied her hair up all funny 

but she wore her vans squeaky clean

She’d run around with her sponge bob pouch, brimming with all the colours of Crayolas she could find at target, and that one pencil. It was blue. and it said her name, but no one was allowed to touch it. no one at all

Everywhere she’d go, she wore her thick denim blue jacket, she veiled herself, and everything about her under that one denim jacket. Her hands always in the pocket

her vans always squeaky clean

She was dominating, she wanted her way, but she worked hard, she stayed up all night

I saw it on her instagram

I always saw a hint of a piece of paper in the corner, i knew it was one of those beautiful faces she’d drawn

The sponge bob pouch sneaking its way into the picture, not letting out the secret of 

The blue pencil

Her bag was blue too.

And so was her notebook,

The one she drew in at four am. 

I tried on the blue jeans

I knew she liked blue.

Ma didnt let me buy the denim blue jacket, or the blue bag

The jeans didn’t fit right either

Was blue not the colour for me?

No, no it looked good on me

I had a blue ring

I wore it all the time. 

You know what ma, let's just get the jeans

I like them, i like the blue

My whole room is pink, it sits within an array of white furniture

But there’s a questionable blue cupboard,

Its stuffed with unnecessary clothes, and rather old and dried paint

It's got tape marks from the thousand paintings i stuck, and then ripped off

They weren’t as pretty as the faces she painted, but it had a small sponge bob sticker on it

Do you think she would like it?

She had the whole big blue ocean inside her,

I could see when the tides were rising

She never told anyone about it

She waited for someone to notice

She smiled to herself as she walked the corridors  

As she sneaked some candy into theatres

And as she grabbed ping pong balls at game centres

She took time to let you into the abyss of her blue jacket

But once she did

You knew the faces she drew, the secret blue pencil 

and the sponge bob pouch

Blue knew why her vans were always squeaky clean

Blue was the only one she let into her abyss.