Discovery Of My Solitude

Discovery of My Solitude

The time, the money, the magpie, the honey,

One fine day nothing mattered to me, nothing beyond the agony.

The trust, the love, the curse, the dove,

Everything was there, but everything below the truth, nothing above.

The ink, the link, the lock, the keys,

I tried it all, but nothing I could seize.

The cover, the metal, the song, the gnome,

I wandered in the jungle and I loved wandering alone.

Since being alone was never a synonym of being lonely,

Only a connoisseur could figure out the difference between bliss and agony.

Amidst the silence and the clutter, I chose the cacophony.

To win the world and hearts, nothing else mattered but the progeny.

I walked, I stopped, I ran and I rolled.

It was my life, my journey and my emotions on toll.

Bending so deep or standing so high,

A question to laugh or to sigh?

Moving ahead in life brought me the platter of various shades,

A life with delicacies on palate and layers, which cascade.

The book, the page, the journal, the diary,

All had my untold secrets, and a sadness so fiery.

My pain burnt the pen with more pleasure like heaven,

I learnt from my follies and was on cloud eleven.

Walking alone was never my fear, but being lonely scared me.

The best respite was gloom, and the gloominess in me.

I laughed in tears and shed tears in joy.

Life had its own questions and I had my mind to employ.

People shun away the tears and embrace the jolly shades,

Whereas I was the mad maverick I chose the hate.

Among all the fortunes, joys and challenges,

I befriended sadness.

My soul had one colour, the only colour so divine,

It was dipped in grey, without any pomp and show and without any shine.

The gloom, the grey, the sadness and I the prey.

I loved it all, and that is why I stay.

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©Heena Joshi