O! Death, my only friend
Now at last I woo thee
Having died a million deaths
And birthed a million times
Every moment that I fled from thee.
Breathing a few breaths
Between births and deaths
Passionately indulging in each
With the joy to just be!
From the moment I was born
you wooed me
with every new sun of every new dawn
with every sickness eating away
my strength, knowing I couldn't
forever keep you at bay,
even as life’s alluring treasures
swung me sky high in their sway.
In the very next breath
flirting like a fickle mistress
dashed to dust and reduced
beguiling me, enticing me
till I was seduced
succumbing to promises untrue that be.
In the outward ‘doing’ I forgot the inward ‘being’
lost in life’s loving and longing
while the salt of tears kept festering my wounds
with the self-losing all sense of belonging.
My tongue honey sweet and my heart so bitter
I kept putting the salve
of glamor and glitter
on scars of what I’ve seen
scars of what I’ve been
scars that I probe
wanting to freshen fading memories
trying to salvage moments of ecstasy
that were my share but always
edged with the lace of agony.
Feverishly with forgetful wrinkled fingers
I darn the frayed edges of memories
but only images of decayed doings linger.
With half black there was only half the white
with half wrong I could only be half right.
Now I tire of the double-faced goddess of life
as you beckon me.
Hearing the melody of your music
drowning the stifled cries of my screams
when nightmares come
to choke my dreams.
As I have my fill, seeking pleasure
in the dualities of life
empty handed, no wealth, no treasure
allow me to surrender
all struggle all strife.
O! Death my only friend
please come to release me
from problems from pain
wiping out losses, all gain.
Having relished all
that life offered me
I’ve given it back my best!
And in the abiding peace
of your embrace
Now lay me down to rest!