I am done trying to find peace
Between the wrinkles of rosary beads,
Of combing silences between thunderclaps
For hints of Spring,
I refuse to stand on towers, hold my heart as fire
and call myself a lighthouse,
Waiting for kindness to pay for my services.
Look at me throwing away this bucket
I have used to carry all the water
For when I was lava and brimstone
Because quenching is for tempers,
I am a volcano.
I have decided that I will not discover
Happiness lodged in the teeth of crooked smiles
Smiles that hand me patience like reins
To a runaway carriage that cannot not
Cut the forest path eventually
But I do not think civilization ever got the chance
To clear the surface growth that thrives
from every pore and makes
of all human landscapes
I will default on all chivalry and wear curses
Like a membership badge,
See if I find loans easily now.