Why I cry
Why I cry
Why I cry...
It's amazing how grateful I feel as I sit here once again crying. I do this so often, so it shouldn't surprise me.
I think about that only two years ago I stood here broken and hurt and I didn't think I could put the pieces back together.
Then I thought about the time before when I was in one of my darkest hours and I came to church because I had nothing and nowhere to go. I remember I sat there week after week crying.
I never thought I would ever be whole or happy again. The more I came and the more I gave my life over to God, the more peaceful I became until one day I was standing here crying, but they were tears of joy for the peace I had in my heart. See this is true gratitude, pure gratitude from the heart, to know where you've been and how far you've come.
See at the time of your pain, while you are going through the storm you can't see it. When your heart is breaking, and you can't see the sun, all you can think of is how bad you're hurting and you don't see an end in sight.
I am here to tell you that if you give it to God, if you let it go, if you forgive, the pain will go away and the sun will shine again. If you start each day with gratitude, you will see the change.
I put out my heart each day in this blog. I write about my happiness and yes, I write about my pain so that you can see that you can be at your lowest point but if you have faith, God will turn it around for you.
That each and every time, life throws something at you, you will be able to get up faster and you will become stronger, because you know the stronger your faith, the bigger the blessing.
No one said this faith walk was a piece of cake, that once you turn your life over to God, everything was going to be all roses and smooth sailing.
No, that is when the real work is going to come in, the work of how much do you believe? How strong is your faith? If you don't get your prayers answered right away, will you still have faith?
No, I didn't think this was going to happen to me, that I would have to endure more pain.
I thought I went through enough in my life, but when it did happen, it only made my faith stronger.
I have been grateful even when things are bad. Even when it gets bad again, the first thing I do is pray. I would pray to help me get through this, pray that he would take the anger away, and or pray for the person who hurt me because they truly needed God's help.
I am here to tell you, at this point of my life I am crying at church. I am crying in my car, I am crying all the time because I have found my peace. I have the joy back in my heart and I know I am the child of the most high God and that no weapon formed against me will prosper.
Yesterday after I overslept and missed church,
I took a walk around my lake. I had church by myself as I listened to my gospel music. I took in and appreciated all of God's Beauty. When I came back, I turned on my music, my lights and I sat in my backyard listening to the sounds of my fountains and the birds. I sat in my peaceful space, truly enjoying being me and being alone. I gave thanks for such an amazing weekend and the fact that I am so blessed.
I am healthy, I have faith, I have my girls, my friends, and my family, and I have a home and business that I love. I get to write this blog each day and I hope to inspire others by speaking of my trials and what I have overcome with his help.
See I am happy with myself, I am at peace and I feel joy in my heart. Will there be more trials in my life? Oh Hell Yes, that I am sure of but am I worried?
No, not at all, I know I have God beside me, it's all good and getting better and better with each day.
So today my friends, don't lose faith, don't think that this pain will never end, because I am living proof that if you hold on if you have gratitude, and if you truly believe, all things are possible!
"Be the change you want to see"