True colors

Your true colors

We all have true colors. We've all hidden who we really are behind the mask we show to the world.

We all say, do as we say and not as we do.

We pretend that we have it all together, that we are this type of person or that type of person, when these things are not even close.

This is especially true for the dating world, where you're putting out this image to try to find a partner. You may say that you weigh this, or your pictures are way older than you say you are. You write, you want a relationship when you are still broken or didn't unpack from your last one or even still in a relationship. 

You say your kind, yet you are rude to wait staff. You say you are generous, yet you never reach out to help anyone else out. You say all kinds of things to build yourself up, trying desperately to catch a "fish"

Yet, when you finally meet someone, when you are in the getting to know your stage, you're still holding on to the facade. But you can only hold on to it for so long before it gets exhausting, and you drop the mask.

It is then the true you emerges, the angry person, the hateful person, the hurt person who hurts people. Unfortunately for most of us, it is too late, we choose not to see the signs in the beginning or we try to only see the best in that person or maybe you let yourself go and fall in love with them and it's too late.

Yes, once the mask is off, it's game on. They will let you know who they really are; they will put you down, call you names, and show that they are narcissistic or worst controlling. Maybe they are mean-spirited or a wife beater or passive aggressive; whatever they truly are will come out for you to see, and most of the time, only you to see.

And trust me, it won't be pretty, and you will be shocked....or maybe not because your intuition may have been telling you this all along, and you just haven't been listening. For many of us who want to see the best in people, this really hurts us. We wanted them to be honest, to actually be who they said they were, and we're saddened that we are taken in yet again.

I have learned a lot of lessons in the last few years, and one of them was not to ignore the signs. There are always signs. You just need to look for them, and even the small ones will tell you something about a person because the small ones will eventually turn into the big ones.

Yes, it may have taken you back that they could have spoken to you like that, but to be honest, you probably saw the signs and always knew that they had it in them. They were just waiting for the right time to show you who they truly are.

Be glad that it happened sooner than later, before you were six feet in with your heart in your hand. You can walk away now saying, "Dam, I am getting better at this. I am not ignoring all the signs even if I ignored some of them,"

I realized that I would never again wear a mask that I had worn for so many years in the past. I am who I am, all. I can't pretend I am something I am not. Yes, I believe in fairy tales. I am brutally honest; I am quick to anger and quick to get over it. I love big, with my whole heart, and know that life is too short not to jump in with both feet.

I will do anything for my friends and family, but I will never be someone I am not, never again. Yes, I may be fooled again, hurt again, and maybe even have my heart broken yet again. Lord, I hope not but even if I do, I will always be a what you see is what you get, an in your face New Yorker who tells it like it is and never sugar coats shit.

So today, my friends, remember you will eventually see their true colors, and you will know their real heart. You will see the flags much clearer, and you too will be grateful that you listened, that you chose to walk away, that their true colors came out sooner than later.

And as you're walking away say thank you for the lessons...for I am truly grateful for them as they are teaching me what I am willing to put up with and when to say I'm outta here...

Bye Felicia...

"Be the change you want to see."

 @TreadmillTreats